The Third Condition: He Can Do Anything
He Loves You and He Doesn’t Hold Back
We have previously learned the first two of seven conditions necessary for a person to place trust in another. The Chovos HaLevavos underscores that all these seven conditions exist only in the Ribbono shel Olam—a human is incapable of providing that kind of security.
The first aspect is love; we rely on someone when we know that they love us and want to help us. The second aspect is when we know that the person will do everything in their power to help us; they will not rest, day and night, until the matter is resolved. For, if the person loves us, but is practically unable to help us, then all the love is to no avail. Both conditions are necessary so that we can securely depend on the person.
The Third Condition: Indomitably Strong
The third condition, says the Chovos HaLevavos, is that this person in whom we would place our trust must be very strong—invincible in whatever he wishes to accomplish and attain. Nothing stands in the way of this person as he goes about achieving his desire. If we ask him to accomplish something on our behalf, nothing in the world can stop him from doing so. For if this person is weak, our trust in him cannot be complete—despite all his love, mercy, compassion, and involvement in our lives. If he’s incapable of carrying out what he wants, it’s all for naught, because in many instances he will be held back from fulfilling our wishes.
These people really mean well, and they really want to help. But, more often than not, they will come back to us and say: “I didn’t sleep for nights. I turned over the world. But there’s nothing I can do....” If he isn’t strong, we cannot rely on him—despite his best intentions. Reality is stronger than his will.
Wise People Aren’t Impressed
For this reason, smart people who have already experienced life aren’t impressed when someone assures them that they’ll take care of a matter on their behalf. People who have already learned something about life aren’t assured by these promises—even when someone insists that he will “turn over the world to help.” Because smart people have already seen and experienced that when the Ribbono shel Olam doesn’t want something to occur, it doesn’t happen.
Continues the Chovos HaLevavos: When these three conditions come together in one person, then it is more rational to place our trust in them. If we can be assured that they care for us, they’re determined to help, and they can help—we’re likely to trust them.
Only Hashem Is All-Powerful
But these three factors exist only in the Ribbono shel Olam—and thus, trust in man is foolish. Only Hashem is so powerful that nothing can stand in His way, and nothing and no one can stop Him from carrying out His will.
Let us reflect on this point and delve into it a bit more, because it is an idea that we must internalize deeply.
An Expression That Must Always Accompany Us
The pasuk tells us (Shmuel 14:6) that Yonasan ben Shaul prepared for an offensive against the massive army of the Philistines. He was alone except for his attendant, who carried his ammunition. But he was nevertheless unafraid, saying, לנו ה' יעשה אולי האלה הערלים מצב אל ונעברה לכה במעט או ברב להושיע מעצור לה' אין כי, come, let us cross over to the garrison of these uncircumcised ones. Perhaps Hashem will act on our behalf, for nothing prevents Hashem from saving, whether through many or through few.
He was undaunted in facing the enemy that vastly outnumbered him—because for Hashem anything is possible.
This expression—“nothing prevents Hashem from saving, whether through many or through few”—is one that we must constantly hold before our eyes. Even if everything seems lost and dire, even if we’re facing a daunting adversary and we feel weak and outnumbered, we must remember that for the Ribbono shel Olam, nothing can stop Him from helping us.
The Commandment to Be Unafraid in Desperate Situations
Moshe Rabbeinu Enjoins Us to Be Unafraid for All Generations
At the end of his life, Moshe Rabbeinu tells the Jewish People, “The Ribbono shel Olam ordered me not to enter Eretz Yisrael, and I will soon leave This World. But before I do so, let me give you some advice and instructions about the challenges you will face, and the mitzvah d’Oraisa you must become accustomed to thinking about.
“You will soon have to face the current inhabitants of Eretz Yisrael,” he tells them. ממני האלה הגוים רבים בלבבך תאמר "כי, Perhaps you will say in your heart that these nations are more numerous than I, how will I be able to drive them out, מהם תירא לא, do not fear them. אלוקיך ה' כי מפניהם תערוץ לא ונורא גדול א-ל בקרבך, You shall not be broken before them, for Hashem, your G-d, is among you, a great and awesome G-d (Devarim 7:17, 18, 21).
Moshe Rabbeinu then reminds them of all the times that Hashem has previously been there for them to assist them above the laws of nature—and He will similarly do so as they enter Eretz Yisroel. There’s simply no reason to fear. It’s tempting to be fearful in the face of such awesome adversaries—and for this reason, there’s a mitzvah d’Oraisa not to be afraid of these appearances—only to believe that there’s nothing that can prevent Hashem from bringing about our success.
Don’t Fear the Horse and Chariot
The same command is repeated later, in Parashas Shoftim. “When you will go out to battle upon your enemies and see horse and chariot—a people more numerous than you—you shall not fear them, for Hashem, your G-d, is with you, Who brought you up from the land of Egypt” (Devarim 20:1).
“Reality” may make it seem as though everything is stacked against you... everything is lost... there are mighty horses and chariots arrayed against you... nevertheless, Hashem pleads with us not to be afraid! Here, Moshe Rabbeinu is arming us with the keys to life. Nothing can stand in the way of the Ribbono shel Olam’s will to help us—no matter how things seem in the natural order... for nothing prevents Hashem from saving, whether through many or through few.
The Source for Bitachon
Rabbeinu Yonah (Sha’arei Teshuvah 3:32) and the Sefer Charedim (Chapter 1) explain that the above pesukim—aside from providing battle instructions for Klal Yisrael—are the source for the mitzvah of bitachon! According to these Rishonim, the mitzvah “not to fear them” applies to every Yid, whenever he is faced with an adversary of any kind.
Every time he finds himself in a situation that seems dire—he doesn’t know where to turn; every time things seem lost from a worldly and material perspective—there’s a special mitzvah d’Oraisa to strengthen ourselves in the belief that the Aibishter can help, even though we do not know His plan.
Even if the doctor gives a person a terrible prognosis, we’re urged not to become worried about it. Perhaps the Ribbono shel Olam wants it this way or maybe He wants it another way. Either way, we always know that He is a ומטיב טוב, and there’s nothing preventing Him from helping us, even in ways beyond nature.
Everyone Has Fears That Must Be Banished with Emunah
We experience these nisyonos every day of our lives—sometimes in bigger things, and sometimes in smaller ones. Therefore, we must constantly use these words from the Torah to strengthen ourselves. It’s not enough to acknowledge... “The Ribbono shel Olam can do anything.” It must be reiterated and repeated constantly.
There are countless iterations and appearances of the “horses and chariots.” We see something coming that doesn’t jibe with our plan. There are hordes of horses and chariots galloping against us threatening to swallow us whole.... But the Torah commands us to be unafraid. Your dire situation must not cause you concern! If it affects you, strengthen yourself. It’s a mitzvah d’Oraisa!
The Shadchan Can’t Cause You to Despair
A shadchan may tell the father of a boy, “You need to be more realistic about what kind of shidduch you can get for your son.... He’s not Moshe Rabbeinu, after all. So don’t dream about getting the best girl for him... you need to accept reality.”
There may be truth to these words, in many instances. A person should look at his situation with realism and accuracy. He should look for something that’s fitting for his child rather than live in a fantasy and delusion. But if the shadchan says this simply because some previous suggestions didn’t work out, this is a grave mistake.
So many people who have completed a shidduch for their child will tell you, “I had given up on doing a nice shidduch... I had already been preparing myself to take something less than preferred, but the Ribbono shel Olam sent something so amazing, so unexpectedly!”
Nothing Happens Due to Outside Circumstances
So often, we allow ourselves to be broken and discouraged by the superficial “reality.” A parent may say, “Listen, the years are passing by... when my son was nineteen, and I was on top of the world, I could have insisted on something better. Now, he’s twenty-one, and I’ll never be able to find him a shidduch of the same quality now. He’s a normal, great boy... who knows what I will need to compromise on.”
First, we must remember that we don’t know the cheshbonos of the Ribbono shel Olam. But one thing is certain: this boy has a shidduch that has been bashert for him before he was born—and nothing can change that. It’s possible that you’re being led on this path to humble you so you will do the right the shidduch for this child, absent your personal motives and calculations. But the plan will proceed.
Nothing Can Prevent What Is Bashert
But understand that this shidduch didn’t happen because of outside circumstances or because of the years that passed; it was always meant to be! If it happened, it’s because this had been the plan all along. You had only to submit to it. It didn’t happen because the shadchan scared you, it didn’t happen because your son was already older, nor because people were beginning to talk.... None of these factors matter at all.
People walk around upset that others said something about them... they spread rumors about them, and this is why a shidduch was ruined. This is foolish and false! Nothing can ruin a shidduch that had been bashert by the Ribbono shel Olam! Nothing can get in His way!
No matter what the surrounding circumstances are, everything will happen exactly as it is meant to.
Trusting—Even When Everything Seems Lost
Relying on Hashem in the Darkest Darkness
The Navi Yeshaya censures the Jewish People, saying: ה' ירא בכם מי עבדו בקול שמע חשכים הלך ואין לו נגה יבטח בשם ה' וישען באלקיו, who among you fears Hashem, listening to the voice of His servant? Through he may have walked in the darkness with no light for himself, let him trust in the Name of Hashem and rely upon his G-d (Yeshaya 50:10).
That is, even when a person is in a situation in which he’s convinced that there’s no recourse and he feels that every door is closed to him, says the Navi: Don’t look at “reality”! Look at the Ribbono shel Olam and place yourself in His hands! A Yid may not despair or become afraid even when the darkness is great, just as he may not fear the horses and chariots!
Singing in the Darkness
In the midst of Megillas Eichah—as we recite some of the darkest and saddest verses in Tanach, on the saddest night of the year—we also say רחמיו כלו לא כי תמנו לא כי ה' חסדי, the kindnesses of Hashem never end and His mercy is never depleted. We’re accustomed to singing this once we have witnessed salvation—to thank Hashem for his kindness.
But the Sefer HaIkrim (4:48) tells us that these pesukim refer to a person who’s enduring terrible suffering. Everything is caving in on him from all sides. And he speaks to himself in his heart—even before he is helped out of his quandary: This I take to heart, as I am enduring my suffering: the kindness of Hashem is endless... and “therefore, I do not despair from emerging from my tzaros.”
Remembering That We’re Always Before Him
Tzaddikim tell us regarding what we say in Maariv each evening: מלפניך טובה בעצה ותקננו, imbue us with good wisdom from before You. What is the greatest wisdom we can ever hear? מלפניך! We must always remember—no matter what we’re going through—that we’re before Him, and we must thus place our trust in Him alone.
A Yid gets up to daven Maariv after a long day, and he supplicates Hashem to imbue him with this wisdom: to always have the feeling, the ability, and the wisdom to understand that the Ribbono shel Olam can help him out of every situation. He doesn’t need to know what and how, but he knows that he will yet merit to see a happy conclusion to his saga. Everything will be good. This is the greatest טובה עצה that a Yid can ever be given.
Extra Reminders When It’s Dark
Tzaddikim asked regarding this, wouldn’t it be better to ask for this wisdom at the outset of the day? Right in the morning, during Shacharis?! Anyone with any life experience understands that a new day brings with it a new set of challenges, and we do indeed daven every morning to be spared from these. If so, why shouldn’t we ask Hashem for this טובה עצה in the mornings?
But the answer is that in the morning, when it’s light, it’s easier to remember that the Ribbono shel Olam helps us. But when darkness descends on the world, this is precisely when we need to be reminded of Him—this is when we need to strengthen and bolster our emunah and bitachon. And for this reason, we daven for this wisdom at night, so we will remember that “if everyone says that there’s no recourse for me—then the Ribbono shel Olam Himself will help me! If one door has closed, then the Ribbono shel Olam Himself will open another door. He has endless ways to help me!”
The Joy of Knowing That No One But Hashem Can Help
Rav Asher of Stolin, the son of the Beis Aharon of Karlin, waited for many years to have children. (His son, who was born to him after many years, was Rav Yisroel of Stolin, known as “The Frankfurter.” The succession of the Karlin-Stolin dynasty survived through him and his sons.)
One day, he came into the sanctum of his illustrious father with a look of great joy on his face. His father asked him about this, and he replied, “I have just visited Nikolai Pirogov, the greatest physician in Lemberg and a pioneer in the field of surgery, in an effort to have children. He showed me the palm of his hand, and said, “When hair grows here, you will have children!”
“If so,” asked his father, “why are you so joyful?” And Rav Asher answered, “Now that the greatest doctors have given up on me, I know that only the Ribbono shel Olam can help me. And if so, I will surely be helped!”
Tzaddikim understood this. They became joyful when they understood that according to nature they stand no chance—because this pushed them to rely solely on Hashem, knowing that He will help them against all odds.
The Sweetness of Direness
The same applies to every Yid in every dire situation that he faces... when everyone says to him, “Every avenue is closed to you. There’s no way forward....” Whether it’s a doctor, a shadchan, or the bank manager—when a Yid hears that there’s nothing left to do, then he knows that only the Ribbono shel Olam can help him! And this is the cause for the greatest joy—a feeling of complete reliance on Hashem. And often, this joyful feeling can be felt only when we’re feeling grim and stuck—when we’re told that there’s no way out.
We’re not talking about dreamers and delusional people here. We’re addressing practical and down-to-earth people. This Yid understands that according to teva, he truly doesn’t have a way out. And he doesn’t need to know how it will happen. He only knows that the Ribbono shel Olam will help him. This is a feeling of true deveikus and pleasure that we can feel only when there’s no way out according to the natural way of the world.
This situation also presents the opportunity for the aforementioned mitzvah of מהם תירא לא ...ורכב סוס וראית, to be unafraid even when faced with hordes of horses and chariots. Sometimes, the entire nisayon is designed so that we will fulfill this mitzvah of being unafraid.
Nothing Can Prevent Hashem’s Salvation
The Sefer HaIkrim concludes: “And if a person will find himself surrounded by much suffering, he should maintain and hold onto his temimus and trust, and he will strengthen his hope in Hashem. He should think in his heart—and know and be wise to the fact that—nothing can prevent the Hand of Hashem from granting his wish and fulfill his desire—for His ability is limitless, and He has the ability to bring him from suffering to salvation, for His mercy and great kindness are likewise without limit, and with [knowing] this, he will increase his hope in Hashem.”
Because the Torah has commanded us to think this way, when we engage in such thoughts, we become closer to Hashem, and we see success in ruchaniyus and gashmiyus. Conversely, if we think contrary thoughts, we become distanced from Hashem and from the shefa.
No one can ever know what will be. There are countless heavenly calculations for every aspect of our lives. But we must always remember this: The end result has nothing to do with the situation that Hashem placed us in. We were brought to this situation because the Ribbono shel Olam wanted us here, and—even if we don’t understand how—He can help us out of it in a moment.
