Not everything is black and white. Sometimes it’s gray—what’s often called the fifth volume of the Shulchan Aruch. As growth-oriented Yidden, we’re trained to learn, work on ourselves, and grow. But some things just aren’t written. Still, in our desire to please and adhere to רצון השם, even in the gray areas, we strive to choose right. While this sensitivity may seem elementary, the story of Balak and Bilaam shows that it defines the line between צדיקים and רשעים.
This week’s parashah illustrates this. Bilaam was a terrible רשע who came to curse כלל ישראל. Yet he says (Bamidbar 22:18):
“Even if Balak were to give me his house full of silver and gold, I could not do anything, big or little, contrary to the command of my God.”
The Alter of Kelm asks: These words suit the אבות, a תנא, or a צדיק—not Bilaam! He explains that Bilaam said, “לא אוכל לעבר את פי ה” — I cannot transgress the word of Hashem.” He meant that he won’t transgress the explicit word of Hashem. But the will of Hashem? That was another matter. He used tactics to “force” Hashem to allow his will. As the Gemara says, בדרך שאדם רוצה לילך מוליכין אותו—Hashem leads a person in the direction he desires to go.
Bilaam knew this well. He didn’t transgress, but he manipulated the situation to serve himself—his will over Hashem’s.
צדיקים, in contrast, are subservient to Hashem’s word, desire, and way. They strive for בכל דרכיך דעהו and והלכת בדרכיו. Bilaam followed what was black and white, but failed to pursue רצון השם—living a godly life, and embracing the gray. He knew the Ramban’s teaching that a person can be a נבל ברשות התורה, follow the Torah’s letter, and yet behave unethically. Hashem may help, as He assists one on the path they choose.
Rav Yaakov Neiman (Darkei Mussar) quotes Rav Moshe Rosenstein with a parallel. In מלכים א׳ פ״ב, David HaMelech instructs Shlomo before his death to punish Shimi ben Geira. The mashgiach notes that people often forgive when they’re near death, yet David waited until then to act. When healthy, he didn’t act lest it be self-driven. But at life’s end—at the edge of truth and purity—he knew all was l’sheim Shamayim. He could now command justice with no personal motive.
This story reflects the essence of a tzaddik: holding back even when right, until they’re sure it’s purely for Hashem.
Bilaam claimed to follow Hashem’s word. But a tzaddik aims to emulate Hashem in every detail, written or unwritten. With Shiva Asar B’Tammuz approaching, a time to feel the churban deeply, may we strengthen our vigilance in both the black and white and the gray. May these efforts bring merit and the גאולה בקרוב.
CHOFETZ CHAIM HERITAGE FOUNDATION
RABBI DON JARASHOW
