By Sarah Chana Radcliffe
Your child is hurt and upset because someone said something not nice to her....
Before you rush to rescue a child from social pain, consider the nature of the offense and the age of the child. For instance, consider a child bullied only when she is badly outnumbered, physically assaulted or threatened, or persistently harassed. Don't include not nice, rude or unkind behaviors under the heading of "bullying" as learning to deal with flawed human beings is necessary for the development of your child's personal confidence. For this latter group, offer skills that she can use on her own to handle regular hurtful and upsetting behavior from others.
Sometimes our emotions get the best of us and our conversation becomes unpleasant.....
Arguing or fighting are unpleasant activities that occur from time to time in one's important relationships. They happen when fight-or-flight chemistry is triggered in response to feeling hurt, unheard, helpless, trapped, threatened or attacked. Help yourself calm down quickly by remembering that your loved one is in fact a loved one - not an enemy. His or her hurtful communication was the result of the same fight-or-flight chemistry that you were experiencing. Continue to work on emotional regulation skills to help prevent and reduce conflict, but meanwhile, make up and move on.
