Question: How can a person work on making sure that his Kavod should not be so important, and that his only wish should be for true closeness to Hashem and doing the right thing? Thank you!
Answer: Make sure you’re up to that before you get involved. Until today, myself and some of the greatest American Rabbonim – Rosh Yeshivos, we laugh together how we’re all looking for Kavod, high and low. YOU’RE HUMAN; RECOGNIZE REALITY. As long as you try, it’s fine. Don’t start seeking lofty Madregos.
But one thing I will say. I heard this from R' Ahron Feldman, Zol Zein Gezunt. He said: Just make sure that you have an island of purity in your life. If everything you are doing is for the public; make sure to give yourself a little “learning Seder” where no one sees. That’s fine. So you have a purity, and you're showing Hashem that you want to be pure. And there, you're hidden.
I don’t know your situation. Maybe you are ready for that, and if so, why not. But if you're going to start with that, watch out. Many people fool themselves, and if they are going to start looking for lofty things, they’ll become dysfunctional. Better be a bum like the rest of us.
R' Simcha Bunim Cohen Shlita asked this question to R' Moshe Feinstein Zatzal when he printed his Seforim, and he replied that all the Shelo Li'shmah is fine, it’s great; there’s nothing wrong with it. And R' Ahron Leib Steinman Zatzal laughed at it, he said that the more Shelo Li'shmah, the more Torah we’ll have in the world.
Don’t get too involved in being a Tzadik’el. Unless some people could. If you could, then go for it. Be Mispallel.
