But even if you do that, you have to know like the Gemara said, it’s bigufo and it’s not nitan l’hishavon. Even if you asked for mechila and he says wholeheartedly, “I am moichel you,” but his feelings are still hurt – the effect is still there. It’s pain that cannot be repaid. It’s like if you cut him with a knife. So you asked for mechila and you also paid his medical bills. Wonderful; very good. But the gash, the scar is permanent; he’s a baal mum forever as a result. A man who hurts his wife with words, it’s not forgotten – and even though she is willing to overlook it, in her heart it rankles! The pain is still there and it’s considered a blot on his record.
That’s how it is with feelings too; they are forever. When you’ll be an old man of a hundred years and you’ll look back, you’ll remember, “This one hurt my feelings,” and “That one hurt my feelings.” It’s engraved in your mind.
