There are all sorts of ways to gain. There are hired workers and independent business owners. In any case, whether it is a customer or a boss or a generous person — all are messengers of Hashem, Who provides for and sustains all of us. Therefore, we needn’t get overly enthusiastic about any of them. While, yes, whoever it is was zocheh to be the pipeline for shefa for us, that person is simply carrying out his job. Let us imagine how the bank clerk hands over tens of thousands of dollars each day to anyone who comes to withdraw money from his account. Does he deserve any special type of praise for this? From now on, will we give the clerk maftir and shishi and pesichah? Will we honor him with siddur kiddushin, a brachah at the chuppah, sandeka’us, or some other kibbud? No, not at all. We’ll thank him kindly for his efforts and his good service; nothing beyond that.
All those benefactors in our lives are nothing more than bank clerks. The Creator of the world gives them money so that they can pass it on to someone who needs it. When they do so, they are zocheh to be good messengers to do good for Hashem’s creations. In the beginning of the fourth chapter, Rabbenu Bachyai writes about “one of the chassidim” who said: “I am stunned by one who gives his friend what the Creator decreed upon him, and afterward reminds him of his kindness and asks him to thank him.”
”Reb Chatzkel,” we can almost hear the benefactor ask, “did you get the check? You’re sure?” He askes his question pretty loudly. He simply does not understand how the receiver didn’t thank him for his generous donation. The esteemed benefactor donated a few tens of thousands, and now he is waiting for them to make some sort of party in recognition of his kindness. At the very least, when he comes for Shabbos, they should give him some sought-after honors, such as shishi, maftir and, if possible, also pesichas haheichal and, of course, Mussaf.
A Yid gave his friend an appropriate gift in honor of his wedding and now waits to be noticed. He simply does not understand how they skipped over him for brachah acharisa, how they went through all the sheva brachos and gave him nothing other than mayim acharonim... He sees that “If I am not for myself, who is for me?” and he verbally demands the thanks. At least they should dance together in the middle...
The chassid, being so conscious of the fact that money is only a pikadon – a deposit given to the benefactor by Hashem, questions this man’s behavior. How could he ask for honor for doing something so obviously necessary?
The chassid continues, commenting that it is even more of a wonder how someone who receives his sustenance from a boss or benefactor, who is obligated to give it to him, will then lower himself before him and appease him and praise him excessively.
Here he is speaking about a person who works for someone else who gives him a salary. The salary is obligatory; it is not a donation at all. The boss is obligated to pay for the work, and nonetheless the hired worker subjugates himself to him, appeases him and praises him. While the boss deserves appreciation for his honesty and loyalty, the extraneous submission to him is a wonder in the chassid’s eyes, because the boss is not the true sustainer! Only Hashem yisbarach is the One Who gives sustenance to all human beings.
Immediately the question arises: What about hakaras hatov? In Shaar Avodas Elokim, Rabbenu Bachyai brings five types of people to whom one should show gratitude. In every area of Torah, in midrashim and in Chazal, we see the importance and the tremendous obligation of hakaras hatov. Should he not show gratitude to the benefactor, even if the benefactor was obligated to give what he gave?
The answer is that we must note the precise words of the chassid. First he speaks about the giver, the rich man whose tafkid is to give tzedakah. The one who receives the money should show thanks and appreciation and honor him. The giver himself, however, should remember that he is nothing other than a bank clerk who transfers the money found in his drawer. Hakadosh Baruch Hu gave the wealthy man money so that he would give it to tzedakah. This is his job, and on his end, he should refrain from asking for thanks and hakaras hatov. Then he will be zocheh that from Shamayim they will show him gratitude a million times more.
The second part of his words refer to a situation in which a person works for his parnassah. Here he should be careful that the need for parnassah doesn’t cause him to lose his mind. He should not lower himself too much to the person who gives him work, and he should not change any of his decisions in life because of him. If he lowers himself too much before his boss and flatters him, he is liable to lose out on his bitachon in Hashem. But one who is zocheh to invest his kochos in learning bitachon recalls that his boss is only a messenger of Hashem’s hashgachah. He respects him because meritorious things come about through someone who has merit, and he thanks Hashem each day for His great chassadim and for the fact that He sustains and provides for him through his good messengers, for His kindness is forever.
