Our parashah has always been identified as the parashah of shidduchin, as the very first search for a shidduch happened specifically here. Rav Pam zt’l would use this opportunity to speak about shidduchin every year, and we, too, will try to grab this moment in time to learn invaluable lessons therein.
Among the greatest principles found about shidduchin in Parashas Chayei Sarah is the statement that both Lavan and Besuel exclaim as one about the shidduch of Rivkah to Yitzchak: מה' אשה לאיש — From Hashem is a woman to a man! (Bereishis 24:50).
Rav Meir Warsager shlita, of the Mirrer in Yerushalayim, shared some absolutely incredible points on the above: The Torah says that they told Rivkah to go with Eliezer “just as Hashem said....” The obvious question is, where do we see that Hashem said in words that Rivka should go? The Netziv explains, amazingly, that when it comes to shidduchin, the Divine Providence is so clear that it is literally as if HaKadosh Baruch Hu spoke!
This is why, some explain, that a vort is called a vort — as vort means word, and a shidduch taking place is literally the word of Hashem....
And when the Gemara teaches us that a heavenly proclamation calls out the name of each girl for each boy, the pasuk used to prove this statement is none other than the pasuk above, from our parashah: מה' אשה לאיש !
The Chazon Ish teaches that today, since the Churban, the greatest revelation of Hashem can be seen through the finding of one’s shidduch. And perhaps, explained Rav Warsager, the reason shidduchin truly bring out such immense hashgachah is because the product of such will bring forth a home that will then be a place where the Shechinah will reside; just as occurred with that very first shidduch found in the bayis of our holy ancestors....
Though, baruch Hashem and bli ayin hora, the three shidduchin of our children whom Hashem sent us are all mind-blowing stories of the ultimate hashgachah pratis; I would like to share just one here, as it is brought in my sefer, ArtScroll’s The 25th Hour (Day 106):
Hashem caused it to be that I was teaching chassan classes with a very special young man, Aryeh Abraham.
When he walked in to our very first class, very much not in my usual style, I asked him if he has any friends appropriate for my daughter. Right away, he replied, “Sure! Moshe Wachs!” I called a shadchan and family friend, Mrs. Tepfer, and the shidduch was redt .... B’H B’H! Four weeks later, they were engaged!
But how did Aryeh Abraham come to learn chassan classes with me, which enabled him to mention his friend in my office that day? Let us take a look at the events that led to this — it is truly staggering. His older brother, yedidi Chananya Abraham, told him to come to me. But how did he know me? He once spoke to me when he was in high school, as he was going through a difficult situation and decided to speak to someone outside his yeshivah.... But how did Chananya know me to come speak to me? Because a few years prior, when Chananya was in ninth grade in Yeshiva of Far Rockaway, I came to speak to his class; thus, when he was going through that difficult situation a few years later, he decided that I might be a good person to speak to.... And then, a few years after that, he decided that I would be a good match to be his brother Aryeh’s chassan teacher!
But why did I speak in his class in ninth grade? Because my beloved Rebbi, Rav Aaron Brafman, saw me learning in the Yeshiva of Far Rockaway beis medrash at that time, and asked, “Maybe you can come and give a shmuess to the ninth grade?” That means that Hashem sent Rav Brafman to me in the beis medrash that morning...why? Because two decades later, a shidduch needed to come about due to that speech.... And it was as if a bas kol said to my Rebbi, ‘Send Dovie Keilson into that class now, to start that ball rolling....”
How great are Your ways, Hashem! B’Siyata DiShmaya.
