פרשת חיי שרה
כולן שוין לטובה
With the demise of Sarah Imeinu at the start of this week's Parsha, the Torah elaborates on her life. The possuk says (בראשית כג א) ויהיו חיי שרה מאה שנה ועשרים שנה ושבע שנים שני חיי שרה Sarah's lifetime was one hundred years, and twenty years, and seven years; the years of Sarah's life.
A Blessed Life
Rashi comments, למה נכתב שנה בכל כלל וכלל Why does it repeat the word years by every single number? לומר לך שכל אחד נדרש לעצמו In order to tell us that each one should be evaluated separately. When Sarah was a hundred years old, she was clean of sin like a twenty-year old maiden who is considered clean of sin since the בית דין של מעלה does not punish until the age of twenty. When she was twenty, she had the beauty of a seven-year-old child. Rashi concludes, כולן שוין לטובה all the years of her life were equally good.
There are two ways of interpreting this Rashi. According to some meforshim, the words 'כולן שוין לטובה' are a conclusion of the previous verse which states that all her days were equal in beauty and pure from sin. Here, both of her merits are merged; throughout her life she had both, the beauty and purity small child who has not tasted sin.
According to other meforshim however, Rashi's explanation of כולן שוין לטובה refers to the concluding words of the possuk: שני חיי שרה. These words are an additional virtue about her life, elucidating that all her days were filled with goodness. They were not only free of sin but they were also filled with blessing.
Chazal in פתיקתא זוטרתא states כל ימיה בששון ובשמחה all her days were filled with joy and happiness. Similarly, the Imrei Shefer says that כולן שוין לטובה refers to all her days being filled with health and wealth.
Upon further analysis, it is difficult to understand this notion, given the fact that in her early years Sarah suffered greatly from barrenness, poverty and wandering. She was also abducted twice in her lifetime. In later years however, she merited a son and great wealth and honor. How, though, can it be that all her days were equally filled with joy, health and wealth, when the earlier reality seems to have been exactly opposite?
Seeing Only Good
The Rebbe Reb Zusha of Anipoli zt"l provides insight into the words כולן שוין לטובה. He says it doesn't literally mean that they were equally good, but rather that she was מקבל לטובה all her different experiences in the same manner. On every occasion she said גם זו לטובה. Through living with the perspective that whatever Hashem decrees is ultimately for her good, she viewed all her days as equally good.
In the same vein it says ואברהם זקן בא בימים וה' ברך את אברהם בכל (בראשית כד א) and Avraham became old and Hashem blessed him with everything. R' Zusha offers that this alludes to the same virtue, Hashem blessed him with the wonderful middah of recognizing כל מה דעביד רחמנא לטב עביד that everything Hashem does is for our good. (זהב המנורה)
There is a famous story that demonstrates how the Rebbe R' Zusha lived up to this teaching, displaying the same middah in his life. The Maggid of Mezritch zt"l was approached by the two great brothers, the Rebbe R' Shmelke of Niklosburg and his brother Rebbe Pincahas the בעל הפלאה זי"ע, asking him how one can fulfill the dictum of חייב אדם לברך על הרעה כשם שמברך על הטוב (ברכות נד.) A person is obligated to bless Hashem for his difficulties in the same manner as he blesses for the good, and he should accept it with joy.
The Maggid sent them to R' Zusha, as he was confident that he'd be able to explain this Mishnah to them. Upon approaching him, R' Zusha exclaimed that obviously he is not qualified to answer, as he has not encountered any difficulty in his life. He wondered why they did not approach someone who has experienced suffering in his life. This was despite the fact that R' Zusha was desperately poor and suffered many afflictions. Thus, it was clear, that in order to be able to thank Hashem for the bad as well as the good, one has to view the difficulties as inherently good. (ספר נפלאות הרבי פתיחה אות י)
גם זו לטובה
There are two famous stories of Tanna'im who lived their lives according to this middah; accepting everything that occurred to them with Emunah and believing that everything is ultimately for their good. The Gemara (תענית כא.) tells us about the Tanna Nochum Ish Gamzu who accepted wholeheartedly whatever difficulties he encountered, by constantly stating גם זו לטובה 'this too is for the good'.
As is related in the well-known Gemara, on one occasion the Yidden wanted to send a gift to the Kaiser, in order to find favor in his eyes. Everybody voted for Nochum Ish Gamzu to be their emissary to deliver the gift, as he frequently merited to see miracles. Nochum set out on his way with a chest full of precious gems. En route, he slept in an inn, before continuing his journey. While he was there, the innkeeper, who noticed that Nochum brought along a special chest, stole all the precious gems and replaced them with dirt. Obliviously, Nochum continued his journey, until he reached the Kaiser, to whom he presented the special gift. Upon seeing the demeaning 'gift' that the Yidden had granted him, the Kaiser declared that he would kill them all due to their audacity to mock him in this manner. Despite the impending massacre, Nochum Ish Gamzu maintained his calm equilibrium and stated with certainty גם זו לטובה, this too is for the good.
Shortly thereafter, Eliyahu Hanavi, disguised as a minister of the Kaiser, approached him suggesting that perhaps the earth he had been gifted is of the same quality as that of the father of the Yidden; Avraham Avinu. He reminded the Kaiser that Avraham had thrown earth at the four kings who captured his nephew Lot, upon which the earth had turned into swords, leading to Avraham's victory in that war.
At that time, the Kaiser was in the middle of waging a fierce battle with an enemy whom he was having great difficulty conquering. He instructed his army to throw this earth at them, and behold, it too turned into lethal swords. With great appreciation, he gifted Nochum Ish Gamzu and all the Yidden with many precious gems and valuables.
Undoubtedly, this was due to Nochum Ish Gamzu accepting that everything is for the good. Hence, Hashem ensured it was indeed so.
Ultimately for Our Good
The Gemara (ברכות ס:) instructs us to always be accustomed to say כל דעביד רחמנא לטב עביד, whatever occurs, Hashem has orchestrated for our good. The Gemara brings another famous story to support this concept. Rebbi Akiva set out on a journey, taking along a rooster to wake him in the mornings, a candle to light up the dark night, and a donkey to carry his bags and ease the journey for him. When night fell, he repeatedly tried to find lodging in order to spend the night in safety, but was unsuccessful. He had no choice but to spend the night in the exposed wilderness.
To add to his difficulty, in the middle of the night a fierce wind blew the candle out, a wild cat consumed the rooster and a lion killed the donkey. After each of these setbacks, Rebbi Akiva stoutly declared 'everything is surely for our benefit'. Although he could have mourned each loss again, he strengthened himself by saying that surely there is a good reason as to why he's enduring this difficulty.
When morning dawned, he learned that indeed what had seemed to be difficult losses had actually saved his life. A gang of bandits had captured the entire city in which he had sought shelter. They stole all their valuables and took the inhabitants as captives. If the rooster or donkey would have been alive, or the candle would have continued to burn, it would have alerted the bandits to his presence, and he too would have been captured. Rebbi Akiva later told his talmidim, 'did I not tell you that everything that Hashem does is for our ultimate good?'
There Is a Greater Plan
The Toldos Yaakov Yosef explains the difference between these two Gemaras, based on a concept he learnt from his Rebbe the Baal Shem Tov. The Baal Shem Tov quoted the possuk וצדיק באמונתו יחיה (חבקוק ב ד) and the Tzaddik lives with his Emunah. The Baal Shem Tov explained that a tzaddik, באמונתו with the power of his Emunah, יחיה can bring life. In the merit of his unwavering Emunah, he can merit salvation in every situation.
The Gemara, in reference to the above-mentioned Mishnah of חייב אדם לברך על הרעה tells us this story of Rebbi Akiva, and then asserts that every person is obligated to live his life in this way. One should always be aware that everything is for our ultimate good. Though we may not be able to see the good in every situation, we must believe that there is a Greater Plan.
For this reason, one recites the brocha of ברוך דיין האמת upon hearing about the passing a close relative, since one is required to bless Hashem even for what appears to be a tragedy. He must train himself to believe that though he cannot see or understand how a loss or a difficulty can actually benefit him, it is surely for everyone's ultimate good. One does not, however, declare הטוב והמטיב. Because though he knows that ultimately this loss will lead to something beneficial, he cannot see that the loss itself is good.
This is the mindset with which Rebbi Akiva lived. With every repeated difficulty or loss, he said again that though they are experiencing difficulties it will ultimately have a beneficial outcome. Therefore, he merited exactly that; his losses were inadvertently a miracle that saved his life.
Only Good Exists
Nochum Ish Gamzu's level of saying גם זו לטובה in every situation, is even higher. He did not only state that he believes that every difficulty is ordained and is ultimately for his benefit, he actually said that there are no difficulties. Whenever he encountered what seemed to be a tragedy or obstacle his said גם זו לטובה - also this is actually good. This is an extremely elevated approach, which thus led to unbelievable miracles.
The Toldos Yaakov Yosef points out that the difficulty itself actually became good. The earth that could have caused a calamity turned into swords that saved the Yidden's lives. Because he proclaimed that not only will the difficulty surely have positive outcomes, but גם זו לטובה, this is not a difficulty, everything is for the best! Therefore, everything indeed was good. Earth morphed into swords and challenges metamorphosed into joys!
Surely, we must strive to reach this exalted level. However, the Gemara does not obligate us to constantly live with this dictum. What it does obligate us, is to train ourselves to to say כל דעביד רחמנא לטב עביד even though I cannot understand how this challenge is beneficial to me, I know and believe that surely it is part of a Greater Plan which is for my ultimate benefit. This mindset is within our reach and may lead to an ability to even see the actual good in a difficult situation, like Nochum Ish Gamzu.
Achieving Equilibrium
The Sfas Emes expounds on this Rashi, saying that Sarah Imeinu mastered מידת ההשתוות, the middah of equanimity. Moreover, the midrash quotes a possuk in Tehillim (לז יח), יודע ה' ימי תמימים Hashem knows the days of the perfect (righteous), and says כשם שהם תמימים כך שנותיהם תמימים just like they are temimim, whole and perfect, so too are their years whole.
Avraham and Sarah are an ideal depiction of this; they maintained their perfect level of Avodas Hashem throughout their lives, regardless of their situation. Because they accepted b'temimus every situation that they found themselves in, therefore they were able to remain steadfast in their Avodas Hashem, and never waver.
Often, extreme joy or anguish can take away peoples' focus on their spiritual lives. They do not have the ability to remain even-keeled because their circumstances have a too great impact on their mood and behavior. However, Avraham and Sarah lived their life with temimus; a whole-hearted acceptance that Hashem knows what is good for them and that there is a Greater Plan. Therefore, they accepted with tranquility and equanimity everything that occurred to them.
With a constantly stable mood, and never allowing events that were out of her control bring her to a state of extreme excitement or sadness, Sarah mastered the ability of keeping her equilibrium.
Though she was tested with both the נסיון העני and נסיון העושר as well as experiencing both great difficulty earlier in her life and great blessing at the end of her life, she did not let these opposing circumstances dictate her emotional or spiritual reality. Throughout these differing circumstances there was no difference in how she accorded herself. Her constant tranquility was a prime example of someone who mastered what the Chovos Halevovos calls מדת השתוות, the quality of equanimity.
In Every Situation
The Sfas Emes explains Avraham Avinu's ten nisyonos in this vein. Often, one trains himself to withstand a certain difficulty he is experiencing and remains steadfast despite the ongoing challenge. However, when he encounters a challenge of a different kind he is completely lost. Hashem tested Avraham with every type of challenge. Regardless of whether the challenge was wandering, having his wife abducted, or being commanded to sacrifice his only son, he remained steadfast in his Emunah throughout. Again, the differing circumstances and challenges did not impact his composure.
The possuk in Mishlei says גמלתהו טוב וכו' כל ימי חייה she repays only the good and not the bad all the days of her her life. The Midrash says that this possuk applies to Sarah Imeinu. The Sfas Emes interprets it as follows: He says it was good for her throughout her life, both during the seemingly difficult years, and when times were easier. She accepted everything with equanimity, and maintained a consistently good disposition. (שפת אמת פר' חיי שרה)
One can interpret the Chazal that Sarah was בת ק' כבת כ' when she was one hundred like when she was twenty, b'derech remez to demonstrate this mastery of מדות ההשתוות. Perek one hundred of Tehillim is the perek of מזמור לתודה, a song of gratitude in which we say עבדו את ה' בשמחה Serve Hashem with joy. Perek כ is said in a time of crisis; we daven יענך ה' ביום צרה Hashem should heed our tefillos in a time of distress. Sarah Imeinu was בת ק' כבת כ', she maintained the same composure, she was the same person when experiencing simcha and experiencing difficulties. All her days were שווין לטובה due to her acceptance of the situation and in maintaining her equipoise.
Understanding the Source
The Kotzker Rebbi zt"l used to explain the verse in Tehillim גם חושך לא יחשיך ממך (קלט) Even darkness will not obscure [anything] from You, that when a person knows that the חושך, the darkness, ממך, is from You, it no longer appears to be dark. For if one lives with the knowledge that everything is from Hashem and therefore must be good, there is only light. (ארץ צבי פר' ואתחנן)
The Chofetz Chaim was wont to say that when a person believes in Hashem, there are no questions. However, if his Emunah is not strong, then there are no answers. אז ס'איז דא אמונה איז ניטדא קיין קשיות, אז ס'איז ניטדא קיין אמונה איז ניטדא קיין תירוצים. (חפץ חיים עה"ת ואתחנן)
Rabbi Shimon Yaroslaver zt"l was once asked in which zechus he merited to live to a ripe old age. He responded that he never sought to question the middas hadin that he experienced, and never had any complaints to Hashem. He told himself 'If I accept everything with love, and do not seek to understand the reasoning for all that occurs, I will not be summoned on High to receive answers. I did not need evidence that הצור תמים פעלו וכל דרכיו משפט (דברים לב, ד). Every action that Hashem does is whole and all his ways are righteous, so I was not recalled to the place where it is evident that all of Hashem's ways are just.'
Heavenly Calculations
There is a fascinating story that illustrates the concept that everything Hashem does is for our ultimate good, and we should not ask questions, or try to achieve understanding of the reasons behind our afflictions.
There was once a chassid of the Chiddushei Harim, who was going through a difficult time. This individual used to be very wealthy, however he lost his money and had many debts that his creditors were haunting him to repay. He had wealthy relatives to whom he wanted to travel and request their assistance.
He approached his rebbi, the Chiddushei Harim to ask for his advice on this matter and was advised not to reach out to his relatives for help. When the chassid's situation did not improve, he went to his Rebbe again, asking him if perhaps he should send a letter to his relatives asking for financial assistance because his creditors were hounding him. Again, he was advised in the negative. The Chassid repeatedly returned to his Rebbe to ask him if he should request assistance, and each time he was instructed not to. However, due to his worsening circumstances the chassid did not heed his Rebbe's advice, and wrote a letter to his family explaining his dire circumstances. His family responded generously and sent him enough money to pay off his debt. They continued sending him further donations, until he started to prosper again.
Yet, as much as his financial situation was improving, his health started deteriorating. He became so sick that he could not even travel to his Rebbe to request a bracha for a refuah. He therefore sent his friend, to go plead by the Rebbe to daven for a yeshuah.
The shaliach arrived to the Rebbe and immediately requested a bracha on behalf of his friend who was deathly ill. The Chiddushei Harim was silent for a few minutes, and then he explained: There are times when it is ordained that a person must die. However, in Shamayim they give him the possibility to push off the decree by accepting yissurim instead. The person is given the tzaar of poverty or a different difficulty that is considered חשוב כמת. In this way, he is given more years to achieve greatness on this world. 'What can I do if the person pushed away his chance to live by requesting assistance from his family, and reversing his financial state?' The Rebbe concluded. Unfortunately, by the time the shaliach returned, his friend was no longer alive. (סיפורי חסידים פר' שמות)
Meriting Forgiveness
In the sefer אגרא דכלה it says that we have an established mesorah that if when one suffers pain he accepts the pain and asks Hashem that it should serve as an atonement for his sins, then it can indeed bring upon him forgiveness. He quotes the verse in Tehillim ראה עניי ועמלי ושא לכל חטאתי see my poverty and pain and grant me atonement for my sins.
The Rebbe R' Mendel of Riminov once saw a destitute man walking in the snow with threadbare, torn shoes. He said that if only the pauper would accept his difficult situation and ask Hashem that it should serve as a kappara for his avonas, to rectify his sins, he could achieve atonement. However, because he does not acknowledge the reason for his suffering, he is not granted כפרת עוונות and is unfortunately not achieving this great benefit.
Similarly, Rabbeinu Yonah (Shaarei Teshuva) explainees the verse in Tehillim כוס ישועות אשא ובשם השם אקרא - צרה ויגון אמצא ובשם השם אקרא. Why does it say in both versions that a person calls out to Hashem? Because if a person acknowledges that both difficulties and salvation serve the purpose of bringing us closer and removing us from sins, then He calls out to Hashem in either situation. This understanding, that everything comes from Hashem, and is orchestrated for our good, leads a person to live a life full of simcha, like Sarah Imeinu, whose days were כולן שוין לטובה.
Essentially, we can now understand the previously mentioned words of Chazal, that Sarah lived a good life filled with joy, up to the point that they were considered "equally good". This is because she lived with such a level of emuna that she understood that every situation is orchestrated Above. Hence, all her tribulations and challenges were in no sense viewed as misery, for she knew that they were for the ultimate good. Therefore, she was fortunate to live her entire life blessed with utmost tranquility.
May we too merit to be accustomed to say כל מה דעביד רחמנא לטב עביד, thus viewing every situation through the lens of emuna, always saying and understanding that 'everything is for the good'. In that merit may we experience only revealed good all the days of our lives.
גוט שבת