And food was set before him to eat, but Eliezer said, "I will not eat until I have spoken my words." And Lavan said, "Speak." The commentators all ask what was the intention of Eliezer not to eat until he has spoken. He could have eaten and then tell of his mission? To understand this we must retract to this Parsha which is describing how Avraham Avinu sent his dependable servant Eliezer on a mission to find a wife for his son Yitzchok who was already forty years old. He was ordered him not to take a girl from Canaan only from my birthplace Charan. The servant took ten camels of his master's camels, and he went, and all the best of his master was in his hand; and he arose, and he went to Aram Naharaim, to the city of Nachor, the brother of Avraham. And he made the camels kneel outside the city beside the well of water, at even tide, at the time the maidens go out to draw water. Eliezer was excited that a modest girl, Rifka came out, who had been born to Besuel the son of Milcah, the wife of Nachor, and she went down to the fountain, and filled her pitcher and went up. The servant ran toward her, and he said, "Please let me sip a little water from your pitcher." And she said, "Drink." And she hastened and lowered her pitcher to her hand, and she gave him to drink. And she finished giving him to drink, and she said, "I will also draw for your camels, until they will have finished drinking."
The man was astonished at her generosity, was waiting to know whether Hashem had caused his way to prosper or not. When the camels had finished drinking, that the man took a golden nose ring, weighing half a shekel, and two bracelets for her hands, weighing ten gold shekels.
Now Rifka had a brother whose name was Lavan, and Lavan ran to the man outside, to the fountain. Rashi asks: Why did Lavan run and for what did he run? Rashi answers: when he saw the nose ring and the jewelry Rifka received from Eliezer, he said, "This person is rich," and he set his eyes on the money.
Now Lavan wasn’t known for his hospitality, but he reckoned that if Eliezer was such a rich and generous person, that he gave such expensive gold presents for a mere favor of drawing some water, Imagine if I invite him to eat and sleep at my house, that rich man would shower me with many gold presents. However, Eliezer was very smart, and understood the intentions of Lavan.
Eliezer was a Scholar and learned Torah from his master Avraham. The Halacha states that zrc zaipb 'theft of the mind', is a form of stealing too. It is a dishonest misrepresentation or deception. Now if Eliezer would agree to eat at Lavan’s house, Lavan would anticipate that he would be hefty rewarded. Therefore, Eliezer in following the Halacha, stated that he has to speak his position first, and Lavan won’t be disappointed.
I gave the precious ornaments to Rifka because my master Avraham gave me permission to give a nice gift just to be able to find a wife for his son, but for other things I need permission from him. That is why Eliezer did not want to eat before he spoke. After his blunt speech, we don’t find in the Torah that Lavan offered his hospitality, since he would not get his fantasy reward.
However, since Hashem wanted the Shidduch to happen, He coerced Lavan and Besuel to agree to hand over Rifka to Eliezer and they said: Rashi says: We cannot speak to you. to refuse in this matter, either with an unfavorable reply, or with an appropriate reply, because it is obvious that the matter has emanated from the Lord, according to your words, that He designated her for you. They felt it inner and agreed.
Once Eliezer heard the good news, The Torah says: And the servant took out silver articles and golden articles and garments, and he gave them to Rifka, and he gave delicacies to her brother and to her mother. Here Eliezer, took his own food and was the host for Lavan, and did not want to accept food from Lavan.
There is another explanation: Eliezer went with the power of Avraham, as we see he had Kefitzas Haderech, and Avraham ordered Eliezer to have Emunas Tzaddikim and believe that he would find a wife for Yitzchok on this trip. As long as he would stay at a high level in Kedusha, he would succeed in the mission. Eliezer knew that if he would eat a meal at Lavan’s home, his Kedusha would fall, and the mission will fail. Hence, he had to say "I will not eat until I have spoken my words." He thus stayed with the Kedusha of Avraham, and that paved the way for them to agree to give over Rifka as a wife for Yitzchok.
(Yehuda Z. Klitnick)
