JOKES
What gets shorter as it grows older?
A candle
If two's company and three's a crowd, what's four and five?
Nine!
What has four eyes but can't see?
Mississippi!
A butcher is 5 feet 10 inches tall. What does he weigh?
Meat
What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T?
A teapot
Do you say, 'nine and five is thirteen' or 'nine and five are thirteen'?
Neither. Nine and five are fourteen.
What is the end of everything?
The letter G
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck
What word can you make shorter by adding two letters?
Short
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time, you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
What word is spelled incorrectly in every single dictionary?
Incorrectly
What occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment, and never in one hundred years?
The letter M
Which weighs more, a pound of feathers or a pound of bricks?
Neither. They both weigh exactly one pound.
Two children are born to the same mother on the same day, but they are not twins. How is that possible?
They are triplets!
What is white and black but red all over?
A newspaper is 'read' all over.
What has one eye but can't see anything at all?
A needle
You spot a boat full of people, but there isn't a single person on board. How is that possible?
Everyone on board is married.
Brought to you by Uncle Benjy, author of Laughter is the Best Medicine, available on Amazon
