Vidui of Yom Kippur Makes Me Feel Lacking and Unworthy
Question: Many D'rashos and newsletters, like Bitachon Weekly, etc., use Torah sources to emphasize the positive: appreciating our lives, valuing ourselves, and not taking on too much too quickly. But on Yom Kippur, the Nusach and all the Viduyim paint a starkly different picture; portraying human beings, even Shomrei Torah and Mitzvos, as deeply lacking in motivation, thought and deed, without gray area. This contrast leaves me struggling. Is Judaism fundamentally about building up our self-esteem and hope, or about confronting our unworthiness, and asking for Hashem's help?
Answer: Now look. Tefila Zakah and the Tefilos of Yom Kippur, I heard in the name of R' Nosson Wachtfogel Zatzal, it's once a year, and it stops right there. There's a time and place for everything. Yes, there is a time to say “everyone's better than me”. But that's like a dash of salt in a sugar sweet cake! You don't “salt up” the whole cake! You killed it!
Our Dor is not good with sitting on “Yom Kippur” all the time. You don't do that! It's wrong. It's a Yetzer Hara. You do what makes you happy and healthy. That's Ratzon Hashem for our generation. There is so much positive in Yiddishkeit. There's one fast day of Yom Kippur, and 8 days of Sukkos Zman Simchaseinu. Nu? That should turn you on to be more positive.
So keep away from negatives; it's all a Ma'aseh Satan (unless it makes you do Teshuva in a happy way). Otherwise, just keep away. Whatever it says there, there's a time and place for it. There were certain Doros who needed it much more. In our Dor, a drop isn't going to kill you; if it's a drop.
As long as 99% of you is in a different world, being super-happy that you are a such a Tzadik, and such an Oved Hashem, and such a (all the good stuff in the world). Make sure your cake is baked properly, and leave that “dash of salt” a little dash, and nothing more. More than a dash is not a healthy cake. Kol Tuv and G'mar Chasima Tova.