Golden Calf Worshipped

It’s been 40 days since Moshe Rabbeinu ascended Mount Sinai, and he has yet to return. The concerned people have turned to Aharon Kahana-Rabba, elder brother of Moshe, for guidance. Gold was quickly gathered from all corners of the camp in order to build a statue-replacement for Moshe. As we go to press, there is much rejoicing and celebration coming from the camp, as the Jews are dancing around this so-called Golden Calf.

“I’m confused, tsoomished, and tsootumult,” exclaimed the puzzled looking Rabbi Kahana-Rabba. “I tried stalling them by telling them to collect jewelry, and the next thing I knew, out popped this Golden Calf! We’re in gahakta tsoros!”

TNS is presently searching for a Yiddish dictionary.