A mere 40 days after accepting the Torah at Har Sinai, the Jewish people committed the worst sin in our national history: making and worshipping a golden calf. However, while this episode is recorded in the Torah and it is therefore incumbent upon us to study it, we are fortunately quite distant from being tempted to commit such sins, and it is difficult for us to relate to this story and find lessons in it that we can apply to our own lives.
Rabbi Dr. Yaakov Greenwald was a renowned psychologist in Monsey who was very close with the Steipler Gaon and wrote a book called Eitzos V’Hadrachos containing advice he received from the Steipler. In one section, he discusses common mistakes that people make, one of which is the attitude that for every challenge that a person confronts, whether it be in the areas of shidduchim, health, or finances, there must be a clear answer, and until he finds the proper resolution to the situation, he is deeply perturbed not only by the actual problem, but also by his inability to determine how to respond to it.
This approach is incorrect. Because of our tendency to feel that we must immediately solve the problem, we blindly grasp for a way out and end up making bad choices that compound the original situation and make it even worse. If we find ourselves facing a dilemma with no readily apparent solution, it would be far preferable to simply accept the ambiguity and sleep on it until the proper course of action becomes clear or the situation resolves itself.
What was the immediate cause of the sin of the golden calf? Rashi writes that when Moshe did not return at the time that the Jewish people expected him, they erroneously concluded that he had died. As a result, they were distraught and confused about who would lead them. As Rabbi Greenwald writes, the proper response would have been to wait patiently until they could assess the situation and rationally determine the best course of action. Had they slept on it, the issue would have resolved itself when Moshe returned the following day. However, they were unwilling and unable to do so because they felt such a burning, pressing need for immediate action that they opted for an ill-fated plan that changed the course of history.
Rav Yisroel Reisman notes that we often find that when the Gemara raises a difficulty with a certain opinion or explanation, it responds קשיא, which means that the question is indeed valid and no answer is readily apparent, yet the Gemara moves on without rejecting the original position, as Chazal understood that not every question has an easy answer. Similarly, when we find ourselves in challenging situations where the correct response is unclear, rather than rashly trade one set of problems for a new set, we should instead say קשיא, mentally acknowledging the difficulty, but also giving ourselves time to assess the issue calmly and rationally, rather than feeling compelled to rush and make an immediate decision that we will likely regret.
Along these lines, Rav Reisman cites an essay by Dr. Lewis Thomas, who served as Dean of Yale Medical School and President of Memorial-Sloan Kettering, in which he writes, “The great secret of doctors, known only to their wives, but still hidden from the public, is that most things get better by themselves; most things, in fact, are better in the morning.” He explains that because most ailments will resolve themselves on their own within a few days, doctors could simply tell their patients to wait until the presenting issue goes away on its own. However, because doctors recognize that people are impatient and feel a need to actively address their maladies, they therefore advise their patients to get extra rest and drink a lot of fluids, not because this is truly necessary to heal the illness, but because the underlying problem will most likely resolve itself during this time.
In the first berachah of Shemoneh Esrei, we refer to Hashem as הכל קונה, which is traditionally translated as “Owner of everything.” However, the Vilna Gaon writes that the word קונה is connected to the word מתקן – to fix – as we praise Hashem for His unique ability to repair everything. Although building and worshipping a golden calf is not a sin that tempts us, the impetuosity that enabled it to happen is indeed an area in which we can all strive to improve, as we internalize the understanding that we may not have a good solution for every difficulty that we face, but rather than make it worse, we should instead acknowledge the קשיא and leave it in the capable hands of the הכל קונה. (R’ Ozer Alport)
