He gave to Moshe, as He finished speaking to him on Mount Sinai, the two tablets of testimony. (Shemos 31:18)
At first, Moshe learned Torah and forgot it, until it was given to him as a gift, as it says, “He gave to Moshe, as He finished speaking to him.” (Nedarim 38a)
It’s the Same Torah Learned in Heaven
This teaching of Chazal needs some explanation. What does it mean that Moshe Rabbeinu learned and forgot until the Torah was given to him as a gift? Let’s say Reuven comes into the beis midrash, goes over to Shimon, and asks him a kasheh in Maseches Eiruvin, daf 60. It’s been a while since Shimon learned Eiruvin. Nevertheless, he takes a look at the daf and gets back into the subject. He refreshes his memory about what eiruvin are and how techumin work. It takes a few long minutes, but eventually he grasps the issue that Reuven posed to him, and even gives a terutz.
So how could it be that Moshe Rabbeinu was learning Torah and forgetting it all? He didn’t remember anything from the last time he learned? It had to be given to him as a gift??
The Mefarshim explain that the Torah is on such a lofty level that it “has no connection and contact to a person.” Thus, Moshe was unable on his own to know the Torah. Only when Hashem gave him the Torah as a gift, when it came from Hashem, then Moshe was able to know Torah.
Naturally speaking, it is totally impossible for a word of Torah to get into a person’s head. Only because Hashem gives and imparts Torah to us are we able to understand it.
Parsha Topic
Learning Torah is Unique
Let’s compare this with the other mitzvos. For instance, Chazal say that Hashem puts on tefillin.
It is obvious that the tefillin that Hashem puts on are totally different from our tefillin. The tefillin of Hashem are completely above our comprehension, and our tefillin are merely the result of the downward transition of Hashem’s tefillin as they transmuted from one world to the next until they become something that we can comprehend. So it is with every mitzvah. It descends from world to world, continually transitioning until it reaches our world.
But Torah undergoes no such downward transition. The same Torah that Hakadosh Baruch Hu recites and studies, we learn here in this world. The Midrash says:
When Moshe ascended to heaven, he heard the voice of Hakadosh Baruch Hu sitting and studying the passage of parah adumah, and citing halachah in the name of the one who stated it: “R. Eliezer says, “A ‘calf ’ is up to a year old, and a ‘cow’ is between one year and two years old....”
The same Torah with the same exact words that we learn here in this world is learned by Hashem up above.
Since the Torah undergoes no downward transition, since it retains the same lofty level as in its source, it was categorically impossible before the Torah was given for a human being to intellectually comprehend a single word of it. “Torah is Hakadosh Baruch Hu.” Even the simplest word of Torah, such as, “he said,” was beyond human grasp, because it is Hakadosh Baruch Hu.
We, too, after the Torah was given, when we learn a daf Gemara, are actually in the heavens above. When we learn a sugya and are able to say a sevara in it, this is the greatest wonder that could possibly be in the world. The Kadmonim describe this wonder by the esoteric concept called tzimtzum. So to speak, Hakadosh Baruch Hu contracts His unknowable supernal glory and enters a person’s head.
There is something unique to learning Torah. Besides the mitzvah that one fulfills by studying the Torah, like other positive mitzvos that a person does (such as hearing shofar, taking a lulav, etc) the learner is at that moment with Hashem Himself.
Whenever a talmid chacham sits and reads and recites and studies the Torah, Hakadosh Baruch Hu sits across from Him and reads and recites.
Every word of Torah that a person learns, Hashem places it in his mouth, so to speak. This is such a wondrous thing that we even make a special berachah over it. Since we have no way to describe this wonder, we just say אשר בחר בנו מכל העמים – “He chose us from among all the nations.” This matter is something that cannot be described in words, so we describe it only by saying that a non-Jew has no connection to it.
The berachah of אשר בחר בנו מכל העמים ונתן לנו את תורתו is not a blessing over the mitzvah of Torah study, but over the unique attachment of a Jew to Hashem. The Rambam rules that a non-Jew is permitted to fulfill all the mitzvos of the Torah, with the exception of two mitzvos: Shabbos and Torah learning. A non-Jew who studies Torah is, in principle, liable for the death penalty. A non-Jew cannot attach to Hashem Himself.
When a Jew sits and learns Torah, he is, so to speak, sitting next to the Kisei Hakavod with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, and learning. That’s simply the way it is. We have no idea what this actually means, but we believe that this is what Torah learning essentially is. When we learn Torah, a unique connection to Hakadosh Baruch Hu is formed.
This is why, in every generation up to this very day, the essential point of a Jew is Torah learning. Because the essential point of a Jew is Hakadosh Baruch Hu, and “Torah is Hakadosh Baruch Hu.”
Torah is by Chesed
Accordingly, what does a person need to do in order to merit Torah knowledge and understanding?
When we daven for knowledge and understanding in the Amidah, we conclude the berachah by saying Chonen hadaas, “He Who graciously bestows intellect.” Why does the special expression “chonen” appear only here, and not, for example, in the blessing of Refa’einu? Because Torah is such a precious thing that no one ever merited understanding and knowing a word of it on his own. It is always a gracious gift, a matnas chinam.
The Torah is compared to a singular diamond that is simply priceless. There are diamonds that cost a hundred thousand dollars, there are rare diamonds that are worth a million, but there is a diamond that has no price tag. The ownership of such a diamond will not pass from one person to another for all the money in the world. There is only one way to get the diamond, and that is by gift. Only if the owner graciously bestows the diamond upon he whom he wishes.
When we pray for deah, binah v’haskel, when we request Torah knowledge and understanding, we ask for it by the words choneinu me’itcha. We ask Hashem to bestow it upon us as a gracious gift.
Because even if the holy Chasam Sofer would come, or even the holy Abaye, with all the mitzvos he did all his life, and would say, “Ribono shel Olam, I saved millions of Jews from death.” Or, “I brought millions of Jews back to Torah observance.” And, on this basis, he would request of Hashem, “Please give me, in return, the understanding of one Mishnah in Bava Kama!”
There is no chance for such a request to be granted. One Mishnah in Bava Kama is worth more than all the wealth in the world. It is worth more than all the mitzvos in the world. There is only one way to get it and that is by choneinu, by a gracious gift.
The blessing of Chonen hadaas is also special in that it begins with an introduction: אתה חונן לאדם דעת. The other blessings of the Amidah do not have such an introduction. This is because we don’t even dare to ask for Torah knowledge and understanding. Chazal say about Torah learning:
Hakadosh Baruch Hu said to the Jewish people: I sold you My Torah, and, so to speak, I was sold along with it.
Would a person go before a king and request, “Would you please give me yourself?”
So when we stand before Hashem in prayer, we offer a little introduction: אתה חונן לאדם דעת – “You graciously bestow intellect upon people.” You, Hashem, make it possible for a person to receive Torah. You do this as an act of graciousness. Since You are giving out this wondrous gift, please give it to me, too!
If not that Hashem graciously gives out this gift, we could not even ask for Torah knowledge and understanding, because it can come only as a gift from Heaven.
