The Giver Comes Out Ahead in Many Ways
In the end of the Parsha, there is a derogatory name given to a person who did not want to do a favor to his brother. We spit in his face; it's a terrible disgrace. “You didn't want to do a favor for your brother?” That's what's coming to him. Why is the Torah so strong about not helping another? ** After the war, all those people who survived the Germans, Lieutenant Birnbaum testified how many reports have shown that those who had in mind others, those who had community responsibility, those who thought "Let's build Yeshivos” “Let's worry about Klal Yisroel”; all those did much better in their personal lives than those who lived their own private lives. In the book on Lieutenant Birnbaum (page 137) "Studies done on camp survivors after the war revealed something remarkable. Those who took the attitude that it was every man for himself had much lower rates of survival than those who insisted on preserving some sense of communal responsibility even in the inhumane conditions of the camps. Those who said "Let's just build my home, and leave me alone", none of them did as well". This is a fact in Tevah. ***
The giver is in a different world than the taker. The giver comes out ahead in many different ways. The human being, says R' Chaim of Volozin10, was created to be a giver. Zikkui HaRabbim is not only to benefit the public. Zikkui HaRabbim is for the benefit of the person himself. Despite the worst horrors that a person may have (like those survivors went through), it doesn't matter; if you're involved in Zikkui HaRabbim, you pull out of all your own Tzaros.
A PERSON NEEDS TO SEE THE GOOD EVEN IN A BAD MATZAV
You Get Much Further with Honey Than with Bees
FASCINATING STORY
Someone came over to me around ten years ago, a woman who had been divorced (a very messy divorce with a lot of heartache) and she was a very broken-hearted person. After 5 years, she is remarried, with children, and she has children from the first. Her husband had been supporting her for 5 years. Then, one day he decided no more. She called me up crying “Look what's going on. Now he's hurting me again!" **
I said “The next time you meet him, don't say a word about his not-giving you. Instead, say thank you for all the good years”. Two days later she called me up. She did just that, and on the spot, he wrote her a check for the future. You get much further with honey than with bees. ***
This is the way you work with people. You
10 ספר נפש החיים (להגאון האמיתי פאר הדור ומופתו, כקש"ת מו' חיים נ"ע האב"ד ור"מ דק"ק וולאזין, הקדמת ר' יצחק בן מרן הגאון המחבר נ"ע, ד"ה בכל דרכיו) והיה רגיל להוכיח אותי על שראה שאינני משתתף בצערא דאחריני, וכה היה דברו אלי תמיד, שזה כל האדם לא לעצמו נברא, רק להועיל לאחריני ככל אשר ימצא בכחו לעשות.
