Emotional Pain Is Self-Created
We have also quoted the Hachsharas Avreichim, who teaches us that every pain a person feels in his heart really emanates from his own feelings and thoughts. No external problem, even the greatest challeng- es and problems, can cause a person emotional pain. It works this way: A person sees the situation, he analyzes his condition a certain way, and the way this makes him feel causes the feelings in his heart to develop accordingly.
Therefore, the Chovos HaLevavos teaches us that if a Yid habituates himself to always think like a Yid, with emunah and bitachon, then the bitachon mindset will permeate his heart and all the situations that a person can ever encounter or endure.
The bitachon will sit on his heart and protect it from any emotional pain. His heart will become filled with pleasantness, chiyus, and light— no matter which situation he encounters—because every thought will be filtered through the screen of bitachon. His mind will adjust and acclimate to studying his every situation with emunah—before it even reaches his heart, and he will never feel emotional pain.
Scaring Yourself
The Gemara (Kiddushin 24b) provides a good analogy to the concept that emotional pain comes from our own hearts and isn’t dictated by external events:
It is ruled that a master who physically injures the ear of his כנעני עבד and causes him to go deaf loses his ownership of his servant. However, if he simply made a loud noise—and this noise deafens the כנעני עבד, the servant does not go free. The question is asked: We know that there are plenty of examples in which people who cause damage by making loud noises are held liable—for example, when a rooster crows loudly into a glass jar and it shatters from the noise, its owner must pay for it in full.
The answer the Gemara gives is that איהו ,הוא דעת דבר דכיון ,אדם שאני נפשיה מיבעית, a human being is different: since he has wisdom, it is he who is frightening himself. Rashi explains these words as follows: The person who became frightened applied his own heart to the sudden noise. Thus, we do not attribute the damage to the one who made the noise, but rather to the one who allowed the noise to frighten him.
Even Fear Is Dependent on the Heart
In truth, we can ponder and analyze whether it’s possible or feasible for a person not to become frightened by sudden events. It would seem that a person who’s properly connected to the Ribbono shel Olam can demonstrate this possibility. Because regular people who are distracted and lost in thought will usually become frightened if someone scares them—while an ehrliche Yid who always thinks thoughts of ה' אהבת and ה' יראת will likely not become startled when he hears sudden loud noises. There’s no such thing as “sudden” for him. He is always focused and alert.
Rashi seems to be indicating to us clearly that even fears that come from the outside affect you only because your heart chose to accept it in a way of fear: You allowed it to penetrate.
No One Forced You to Do Difficult Hishtadlus
According to this yesod, we can better understand what the Chovos Ha- Levavos teaches us in the introduction to Sha’ar HaBitachon where he lists all the benefits for the ba’al bitachon in This World: he will have serenity from worries; he won’t have to travel distances for parnassah; he won’t have to work hard; and so forth... it’s a long list.
The reason bitachon removes all these difficulties is because we’re talking about difficulties that people bring upon themselves. You have created the problem. No one asked you to work this hard. No one asked you to worry. No one asked you to voluntarily travel great distances. No one asked you to sweat this much to make a living. We must begin to analyze and identify all the difficulties that we have voluntarily taken upon ourselves. The Ribbono shel Olam created us straight, He has given us the proper address to attain chiyus, but you have deviated from this—and this brings you so much difficulty and challenge.
All emotional pain comes from a lack of chiyus in the heart, and this is a choice that we all make. If a person draws chiyus from foreign sources (i.e., trusting in entities other than Hashem) other than what the Ribbono shel Olam has designated, he cuts off his true source of chiyus. Conversely, if a person merits to live with bitachon, his chiyus and vi- tality will never be interrupted. He will have a life filled with limitless pleasure and chiyus.
