As the Nation of Israel is about to enter the Holy Land, Heavenly instructions have been released to establish the exact boundaries of the Land of Israel. TNS has learned from initial reports that the land will be divided by a miraculous lottery system. As details of the upcoming entry into the land are released, excitement is mounting.
I’m looking forward to moving out of our desert tents,” said Mrs. Gnendal Genukshoin. “Just keeping our meat and dairy separate in our tiny tent kitchen has been a full-time job. Ah, a home at last... granite countertops, lots of room in the pantry, two separate sinks ... Can’t wait for our dream kitchen! If only we had some contraption to keep our food cold. And come to think of it, a six-burner stove would be amazing!”
