STORY
A Yungerman from Bnei Brak had terrible Kin'ah on his younger brother, who was a famous Rosh Yeshiva with a beautiful family. He had no job, and a problematic family. He was told to write down 5 of his Maalos over his brother. Especially that his brother didn’t seem to have Yissurim, and Chazal say that if 40 days go by without Yissurim, then: קִ יבֵ ל עוֹלָ מוֹ you lost your Olam HaBah!
Also, a higher Neshama gets more tests, like we find: יַעֲקֹב וּבָנָיו יָרְ דוּ מִצְרָיִם Yaakov went into Galus Mitzrayim, and Eisav had an easy life. A low and simple Neshama can’t handle, tests so Hashem gives him an easy life (P.S. If things are easy for you, don’t worry; you’ll be okay!) And he did these type of things for a week, until he looked down on his brother as a nebach!
When his brother told him a Shtikel Torah, he praised him and encouraged him, like you treat a person who needs Chizuk and you have Rachmanus on him. His brother blushed, and was so happy! By the way, “envy is ignorance”, and who knows the truth about his brother. You can always suspect that the person you envy may have much more pain in his life than you, and he’s just a big act, since the Yetzer Hara wants to test you.
When you are intimidated by people, sometimes you have to say to yourself: “Leave him alone, he’s just a human! And just like you have your Meshugasim, so does he!” You have to realize that Hashem purposely makes people look intimidating and weird, and maybe too Chashuv, and different than each other, just to test us!
The Entire Shita and Derech You Dislike Was Created Just To Test How You React
Some people say that the entire Shita and Derech you dislike was created JUST to see how others would react to these “bigshots”. What they’re doing, even in Avodas Hashem, is of secondary importance. The main thing is HOW ARE YOU REACTING? Fargining? Or getting jealous and/or angry? The main thing is Middos! More than the davening or learning or Dikduk HaMitzvos, etc.
Notice, that as soon as we have our basis of Klal Yisroel (12 Shevotim), the first major Nisayon is Sin’as Chinam. This is what Hashem wants from mankind (ever since Kayin and Hevel). And the second Bais Hamikdash is gone for 2,000 years, only because of Sin’as Chinam. (Gemara). How extra hard we need to work Davka on this, and not let the Yetzer Hara distract us with all kinds of “holy” Cheshbonos and Avoda’s.
Don’t trust yourself; double check this issue again and again. When you suspect that you’re guilty (even if you’re right!) then you’re already on the good list. Join Dovid HaMelech who always said: וְחַטָאתִי נֶגְדִ י תָמִיד תהלים נא ה my sin is before me always (but don’t get depressed!)
