True Teshuva stands, even a perfect Tzadik cannot stand. The true depth of Teshuva brings a Jew to a level of connection with Hashem that is beyond all logic and calculations, just as Hashem is beyond the limitations of all worlds. Whereas, a Tzadik serves Hashem according to the regular order of levels. His intellect tells him that it makes sense to connect to Hashem, and this produces a love for Hashem, which is expressed in his actions. Even though usually this is the ideal mode of service of Hashem, there is a certain aspect of limitation in his service, since it all makes sense and follows a logical progression and pattern. However, a Baal Teshuva’s connection to Hashem is beyond making sense and beyond any calculations.
To understand why we need to connect to Hashem beyond all levels, as He is ‘Soveiv-encompassing’ all worlds, the Alter Rebbe will bring three verses and tie together the concepts mentioned in them:
To better understand the reason for this, we will quote three verses:
1. It is written, (Yeshaya 44:6) “[Hashem says:] אֲנִי רִאשׁוֹן-I am first, וַאֲנִי אַחֲרוֹן-and I am last, and there are no other Powers besides for Me.”
2. And it is written, (Tehillim 33:6) “With the words of Hashem the heavens were נַעֲשׂוּ-made,” meaning, that creation from Hashem happens through His ‘speech.’
3. And it is written, (Bereishis 1:1) “In the beginning, Hashem בָּרָא-created,” and the word בָּרָא-created is a term that means creation of something-from-nothing. The previous verse only said that with Hashem’s words, the heavens were ‘נַעֲשׂוּ-made,’ which does not necessarily imply creation of something-from-nothing. However, ‘נַעֲשׂוּ-made’ implies creation of something-from-nothing.
The Process of Creation
The idea behind this: Creation of the worlds cannot simply come from a chainlike process of cause and effect, like how a person works.
In a person, his emotions derive from his intellect, and his speech derives from his emotions in a chainlike process where one level leads to another, connected level. When a person has an emotion in his heart, this is expressed in his breathing, which then becomes expressed in his voice and his speech, (since speech is formed from the sound of his voice), and his voice is formed from the breath that came in connection with his emotion. All of these levels descend by way of cause and effect.
The Maamar explaining the Kavanos of the Shofar according to the Baal Shem Tov, printed by the Mittler Rebbe in the Siddur with Chassidus (Siddur Im Dach) page 246c, explains that there are two types of breath; one is called הבל הפה, and one is called הבל הלב. The הבל הפה is the breath that reaches the mouth in the form of actual letters, and הבל הלב is the ‘breath’ i.e. air that comes from the heart into the lungs. This ‘breath’ of the heart that comes into the lungs, becomes formed into sound by the air that strikes the vocal cords. This sound then travels through the mouth, which articulates the letters and forms various sounds. Since the original breath, which ultimately becomes formed into speech, comes from the heart, a person’s emotions (in the heart) have a direct influence on his breath and speech.
Creation Is Not a Chainlike Descent
However, the Creation of the worlds does not come through a chainlike process of descending, interconnected levels, since the Statement of Hashem, (Bereishis 1:6) “Let there be a sky,” is not in the same category of existence as a physical sky, so that it would make sense that from Hashem’s Statement a physical sky should come into being, since Hashem’s Statement is Divine and beyond the category of the existence of physical reality.
Since even millions and billions of levels of contractions and concealments on Hashem’s Light, through a chainlike process of cause and effect, will not help to create physical matter, even the physical matter of the sky, from a descent of spiritual levels. If someone in our world would think about something, even with all their might, and for their entire life, their thoughts would never create another physical being that existed according to their thoughts. How much more so with regard to Hashem’s ‘thoughts,’ which are in a completely different category than any physical existence.
Rather, this is only from the Infinite Power of Hashem, who is All-Powerful, and can create a physical sky through His Divine Statement of “Let there be a sky,” in a manner of ‘יֵשׁ מֵאַיִן-something-from-nothing.’
This creative power does not come through a series of levels, but ‘jumps’ from one reality to a totally different reality. So too, all of the created beings derive from the Creator in a manner of something-from-nothing, not through a chainlike series of levels.
Since it is logically impossible from any created being, even the highest level of the creations, which is Supernal Wisdom, to be derived from even the lowest level of Divinity, which is Hashem’s ‘Speech,’ which is the level of how Hashem reveals Himself. This is because the category of Creator is opposite from the category of the creations.
Even regarding the existence of Chochma-Wisdom of the World of Atzilus from Hashem’s Infinite Truth, it says, (Iyov 28:12) “And wisdom ‘מֵאַיִן-from nothing similar’ is found.” Meaning that even for there to be the level of, (Tikunei Zohar) “You [Hashem] are Wise, but not with knowable wisdom,” which is how Hashem’s Infinite Light becomes invested in Chochma-Wisdom of Atzilus, this cannot come about through an orderly, chainlike descent of levels. Rather, it is a jump from one reality, of Infinitude, to a completely different reality, of Chochma-Wisdom.
Whatever is mentioned in the Holy Books of the teachings of Kabbalah regarding the chainlike descent of levels in a manner of cause and effect is not speaking about how creations come into existence from the Creator.
[Note of the Tzemach Tzedek: Rather, it is discussing, for example, how the animal soul of a physical ox derives from the spiritual level of the “Face of an Ox” of the angels of the ‘Merkavah-Divine Chariot,’ which is a lofty spiritual level of angels. For that level to descend to become the animal soul of a physical ox, it goes through a chainlike descent of many levels. This is not the case with regard to the actual creation of the physical body of an ox. It cannot come from the angels of “The Face of an Ox” of the ‘Merkavah-Divine Chariot,’ even after millions of levels of a descent of levels. It must come ‘יֵשׁ מֵאַיִן-something-from-nothing.’ Similarly, the creation of the spiritual beings (ie. souls and the angels), from the Infinite Truth of Hashem, is in a manner of ‘יֵשׁ מֵאַיִן-something-from-nothing comparable.’ End of Note.]
The Meaning of “I Am First and I Am Last”
This is the meaning of “אֲנִי-I am רִאשׁוֹן-the first,” meaning, that in order for the beginning of the order of worlds, which is Chochmah-Wisdom, to come into existence, it is not possible through a gradual descent of levels. Rather, “וְהַחָכְמָה מֵאַיִן תִּמָּצֵא,” and Wisdom from nothing will be found. This is the meaning of “אֲנִי-I am רִאשׁוֹן-the first,” since the letters of “אֲנִי-I am” are the same letters as “אַיִן-nothing.”
According to this, the meaning of the verse is, “אֲנִי-from Me, Who is אַיִן-nothing comparable, רִאשׁוֹן-the first level of finite existence, Chochmah-Wisdom, comes into being.”
Similarly, we can explain “אֲנִי-I am אַחֲרוֹן-last,” to mean that in order for the physical heaven and earth (the last level of creation) to come into existence from the Divine Statements, a chainlike, gradual descent of levels will not bring this about. Rather, it is creation ‘יֵשׁ מֵאַיִן-something-from-nothing comparable.’ This power of creation of physical existence is derived from how Hashem is ‘Soveiv Kol Almin-encompassing all worlds.”
Therefore, all existence needs to come from the Ultimate Source, which is called the ‘אַיִן-Nothing we can understand.’ All existence is dependent on Hashem as He Truly exists, in the way that He encompasses all worlds equally. Only from that unlimited level can there be the power to create ‘יֵשׁ מֵאַיִן-something-from-nothing comparable.’
The Connection of the Three Verses
The first verse, “[Hashem says:] אֲנִי רִאשׁוֹן-I am first, וַאֲנִי אַחֲרוֹן-and I am last,” is expressing the concept that both the first level of limited existence (Wisdom) and the last level (physical existence), derive from the unlimited, unknowable power of Hashem called ‘אַיִן-Nothing we can understand,’ which is the same letters as ‘אֲנִי-I.’ Only from this level can there be the power to create ‘יֵשׁ מֵאַיִן-something-from-nothing comparable.’
The second verse, “With the words of Hashem, the heavens were נַעֲשׂוּ-made,” establishes that the process of creation happens through the Divine Speech. However, only because of the unlimited power of how Hashem is ‘Soveiv Kol Almin-encompassing all worlds’ invested in it, can Divine Speech create physical existence, which is a far removed category from the level of Divine Speech.
The third verse, “In the beginning, Hashem בָּרָא-created,” established that the creative process is not a gradual process of interconnected levels, like in a person’s process of development from intellect to speech etc. Rather, the creative process is a complete jump from one type of reality to another.
Drawing Down the Light on Rosh Hashanah
Therefore, in order to draw down this Light from how Hashem is ‘Soveiv Kol Almin-encompassing all worlds’ in order to enable the creation of the world, especially on Rosh Hashanah, when the general life-force for the entire year is drawn down, one needs to serve Hashem on the ‘Soveiv-encompassing’ level of the soul that is beyond the limitations of intellect.
This level is reached specifically through Teshuvah, when a person has ‘Mesiras Nefesh-gives himself over to Hashem,’ like the story of Eliezer Ben Durdaya, which means giving over one’s will and desires to Hashem.
The Gemara (Avoda Zarah 17a) describes the story of Eliezer Ben Durdaya. He was on an extremely low spiritual level and was completely given over to only fulfilling his coarsest material desires. At one point, he came to the realization that he had completely distanced himself from Hashem, seemingly to the point of no return. When he realized that he was Jewish, but had utterly distanced himself from Hashem through his total involvement in material (and forbidden) desires, he became completely shaken to the core. He truly regretted his path in life and the unholy things he was involved in, and he cried bitterly from the depths of his soul. His Teshuva was so intense that he in fact died from the overwhelming experience of wanting to completely give himself over to Hashem and change his entire life. When he (unfortunately) died from the intensity of this experience, his soul was allowed to enter Gan Eden, and he was given the title ‘Rabbi.’ Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi (author of the Mishnah) said about him, “It is possible for a person to acquire a portion in the World to Come in one instant.”
Similarly, in our context, the idea of ‘Mesiras Nefesh-giving oneself over to Hashem’ means at least to give over one’s will to Hashem, by giving over all the physical desires a person has, to “nullify his will” to Hashem’s.
The Alter Rebbe will give four examples of holding back the natural desires of the animal soul:
1-Closing his eyes from seeing inappropriate things, 2-Guarding his hearing from inappropriate content, 3-Guarding one’s speech that it should be proper, 4-Guarding one’s thoughts from anything inappropriate, as it says, (Bamidbar 15:39) “And you shall not stray after the thoughts of your heart.” These all express how a person nullifies his will to Hashem,
Nullifying one’s will is also in regard to doing good things, so that that he should do things even if he has to force himself to do them, by doing everything Hashem wants, even when it is the opposite of the desires of his animal soul.
This is also the idea of ‘Mesiras Nefesh-giving oneself over to Hashem,’ since (as in the Gemara, Baba Kama 65a) “What is the difference if someone is completely dead or half dead,” either way he cannot function. So too, killing the desires of the animal soul is considered like a person is giving up his life for Hashem.
This also subdues the ‘Sitra Achara-Side Opposite of Holiness,’ through having a “broken and crushed heart.” (see Tehillim 51:19)
The Alter Rebbe will quote a verse to show that when a person humbles himself like a domestic animal is subservient to its owner, he brings about a spiritual salvation for himself:
The verse says, (Tehillim 36:7), “Hashem saves people and animals,” meaning that when one considers himself like a domestic animal that has no will of its own, he will push away his physical desires.
As it is written, (Tehillim 73:25) “I don’t want anything else together with You (Hashem),” meaning that even the highest spiritual levels that are “with You,” like the level of Chochmah-Wisdom of Atzilus, that “Hashem is the One who knows and is united with His Knowledge,” and “He and His Sefiros of Atzilus are One,” even these levels a person does not truly want. Rather, as the verse (ibid.) concludes, “My flesh and heart yearn” only for Hashem Himself.
As it says, (Devarim 4:7) “Which great nation has the privilege that Hashem is close to them, like Hashem our G-d is close to us whenever we call out to Him,” meaning that we only call to Hashem Himself, and not to His ‘Attributes,’ the Sefiros of Atzilus. If we are not even supposed to be interested in the Sefiros of Atzilus, how much more so should we not be interested in any material desires!
Through this process of giving over one’s desires to Hashem, one can come to the level of loving Hashem “with all your might,” which brings down the Light from how Hashem is ‘Soveiv-encompassing’ all worlds, since by giving over the revealed desires of his animal soul and operating based on his deeper/hidden level of connection to Hashem, he is able to reach the Source of all revelation, which is called the ‘אַיִן-Nothing we can understand.’
When a person acts in a way that is beyond the logic of his animal soul, his animal soul thinks he is acting crazy by being so dedicated to Hashem. That is how he reaches a level beyond all limitations, beyond the source of logic, which is the Ultimate Source of creation, by serving Hashem in a way that we cannot logically grasp and understand.
The Alter Rebbe will tie these concepts into a novel interpretation of a verse from Tehillim:
It is written, (Tehillim 145:18) “Hashem is close to all those call upon Him, to all those who call to Him בֶאֱמֶת-in truth.” The simple meaning of ‘בֶאֱמֶת-in truth,’ is that the person truthfully calls out to Hashem. Here, the Alter Rebbe explains it to mean ‘בֶאֱמֶת-into the Truth’ of the Torah (i.e. a person calls to Hashem to come down and become invested into the Torah on a deeper level, bringing a greater revelation into and through his Torah learning).
This is the meaning of the phrase “קוֹרֵא בַּתּוֹרָה-in Torah study.” The simple meaning is reading the Torah out loud. However, we can also interpret it to mean ‘קוֹרֵא-calling out’ to the Source, Hashem as He is, beyond all worlds, to be drawn down ‘בַּתּוֹרָה-into the Torah.’
This is because (Zohar II, 121a) “The Torah comes forth from the level of Chochma-Wisdom,” and “וְהַחָכְמָה מֵאַיִן תִּמָּצֵא,” and through Mesiras Nefesh, one draws down from the level of ‘אַיִן’ into Torah and mitzvos.
