I am in receipt of your letter of the 3rd of Teves, in which you write about your difficulties finding your right Zivug.
Since the Torah tells us that the matter of a Zivug is in general a complicated thing which only Hashem through his individual Providence can accomplish, it is clear that in most cases the right Zivug is not the one which comes at the first meeting, and it often happens that a person has to go about in search of his right Zivug, "as one goes about searching for something he has lost", as our Sages say. For when one has lost something and looks for it and does not find it right away, he will not give it up but will continue his search. The same is in the case of a Zivug. And when the first meeting does not materialize, it is no basis for discouragement, and certainly not for any misinterpretation that one has destroyed his chances, and the like.
It is written in the Torah "You shall be whole-hearted with Hashem, your G-d” – [Tamim ti’hi’ye im Hashem Elokecha (Devarim 18,13.)] This means that you should not go about trying your luck through goral. Besides, our Sages have said: One should not rely on miracles. Therefore, you should go about looking for your Zivug in the normal and natural way which is fitting for a Yeshiva-Bochur, and then G-d will send His blessing, as it is written, "And He will bless you in all that you will do." (Devarim 15,18.) ...
Chabad.org/therebbe/letters/How Many People Must I Date
