He would, with that one move, confirm the worst of the accusations made against him. And much worse that the worst accusations.
Yet, he knew that he is first and foremost a Jew, and his first responsibility is to the Eibishter.
But, on the other hand, isn’t it the Eibishter who wants all of these people to have a positive perspective of Yiddishkeit (so that they would start practicing it)? Isn’t it for the Eibishter’s sake that he put in all the work, that he was so keen on making a good impression? Wasn’t it the name of the Eibishter that was at risk of being desecrated in such a terrible way? Could that be what He wants?
On the other hand, he knew that the Eibishter made it quite clear what He wants, through Torah and Mitzvos. Could he consider disobeying them?
But, then he thought, what right did he have to worry about his own frumkeit at the expense of the religious observance of hundreds of people, at the expense of destroying any chance of any Chabad Rabbi ever establishing himself in this city forever!
He reminded himself of the gemoro (Nozir 23B) “Gedolah aveirah l’shmoh”, an aveirah for a good cause is sometimes virtuous. He further reminded himself of the story with the melamed of the Rebbe, who, when discovered learning on Tisha B’Av, said ‘I’ll go to gehinom anyway, let them punish me for this; - for learning Torah’.
‘I can say the same’, Boruch mused, ‘I’m ready to go to gehinom, to endure any punishment imaginable, as long as I don’t have to be responsible for such a horrible scandal!’
All of these musings took less than a second, while Boruch stood there, at the microphone, facing the cameras, a big smile still on his face, but more torn than he’d ever been in his life. What to do?!
He felt as if he’s aged a hundred years in that moment! He could just imagine the headlines, the reactions, if he chose one course of action, and the resulting desecration of all that he held holy. But to deliberately, knowingly, transgress an issur d’oyraysa or ”l?!
What, indeed, does he do? What should he do? What would YOU do? And why?
Since I have to run now, I’ll stop here for now, and eagerly await your responses.
L’chaim! May we always have the wisdom and courage to make the right decisions (and when in doubt, to consult with our Rav, mashpia, or chassidisher Rov, and act accordingly, an option that wasn’t available to Boruch under the circumstances). And may the Eibishter show His Wisdom and Courage in making the proper, vital, crucial and necessary decision NOW, to bring us the Geula HoAmitis VeHashleima through Moshiach Tzidkeinu TUMYM!!!
Rabbi Akiva Wagner
לזכות 'ר שלום מרדכי הלוי בן, רבקה לגאולה וישועה קרובה, ושלימה י"תומממש ג"ב טוהנוהנ ועש"ק פר' שמות, ערב כ"ד טבת מאתיים שנה, שנת תשע"ג לפ"ק
