In this week's parsha we read of one the most tragic episodes in the Torah. Two tzadikei olam, the sons of Aharon Hakohen who were on a mission to be mekadesh shem shamayim to offer ketores, miscalculated and suddenly and tragically lost their lives.
Their father Aharon Hakohen evinced great strength and faith in Hashem at this time, in fact, this episode is as a source of inspiration for many others who experienced tragedy and difficulty on many different levels.
In light of the current circumstances let us delve a little deeper into this subject, beginning with a story related to me by the ba’al hama’aseh himself, only this week. (Names have been altered.)
What He Learned in the Final Moments!
R’ Shloime, a very special young Avreich with a growing family was diagnosed with a terrible illness. The doctors had tried countless medications, procedures, and painful treatments, but unfortunately, despite the pain he endured, the treatments did not seem to help - he was terribly ill. His various relatives took turns being at his bedside, not leaving him alone for a minute.
This year, as Purim arrived, it was unclear who would sit at his bedside on Motzei Shabbos, the night of Purim. However, a solution was found: his brother in law, David, lived in Yerushalayim, which celebrates Purim a day later. He was the perfect solution. With one phone call, all was arranged and David took on that shift. It being just a day before Purim, David, a true ben aliyah and talmid chacham, decided to take a sefer about Purim to learn. He took the pirush of the Nesivos, Megillas Nistarim, to learn by his brother-in-law’s bedside. He sat down and began learning the hakdamah, which reads as follows:
The Joyful Injury
A person who perpetrates something bad against his fellow, however, the outcome of his deed is something truly good, so much so that in comparison to the good, the minute amount of bad looks like nothing, and his fellow would be willing to experience 1000 times this bad experience for the sake of the good which came out of it, he would certainly not have any complaint against his fellow for the small pain he caused him, as it is nothing compared to his gain. Not only will he not curse him, he will even give him brachos for he was the cause of his yeshua.
For example if someone is walking in the street and his fellow stamps on his feet. He bends down to rub his injured leg and suddenly notices a large wad of cash. He picks it up and realizes that he has just become a wealthy man and that all his financial woes are a thing of the past. What would be his response? Would he be angry with the one who stepped on his foot? Surely not! He brought him to the best place he could have hoped - he will certainly shower him with all the brachos in the world.
Yes - until you bless Haman!
The Nesivos continues by explaining that this is exactly what occurred in the Megila. Haman had terrible intentions, he wanted to destroy us and certainly caused us untold pain and anguish, however, in the end Klal Yisrael ended up gaining immensely from his evil plans. They achieved a kabalas haTorah mei’ahava - a kabala that was on a higher level and more valuable than that of Sinai.
This is the meaning of the obligation to become intoxicated on Purim “ad d’lo yada bein arur Haman l’baruch Mordechai”. A person must appreciate that all that Hashem does, whether one understands it or not, is for one’s own good, so much so that there is no difference between the arur Haman and the baruch Mordechei. Both serve to bring him to the ultimate good, as determined by Hashem.
As David was finishing this amazing piece of Nesivos, he heard the machines beeping at Shloime’s side. He hurried to call the nurses, however, as soon as they came they informed them of the painful besurah that his dear brother in law had passed away leaving behind an almana and five young yesomim. Hashem had sent David the message he needed for such painful times.
Current Times
How important are these words of the Nesivos in current times! Not only is the war in Eretz Yisrael raging and taking so many lives, day-to-day life for many in Klal Yisrael is also difficult, whether due to issues of chinuch, shalom bayis, or parnasa.
I am familiar with a particular mossad that was struggling greatly with a number of students whose behavior reflected the difficult situation in their home. It was extremely difficult to know how to deal with these poor children and what steps to take. As the hanhala were mulling over these difficult questions they recounted that just a few years earlier they were pushing with all their might to get this family to join their mossad. This is indicative of an important principle: We are often unaware of what is actually good for us. Sometimes, that which we think is ends up being quite the opposite.
In another recent episode, many of the parent body wanted their children in one particular class (out of two parallel classes) because the teachers were known to be better, warmer, and more experienced. Ultimately, many parents got their wishes while others were left sorely disappointed. However, as the year went on, the teachers who were in such great demand unfortunately spent most of the year on leave. The “lucky” children ended up with a year of chaos with a different substitute teacher keeping the class afloat on every other day.
The Best Shidduch that didn't Happen!
This often occurs in shidduchim. We often see someone davening, begging, and hoping for a particular shidduch, and when it falls through they are shattered. However, a few years down the line particular things that were unknown come to light, and suddenly they realize just how lucky they were that they did not end up with that shidduch. Then they come to the precious recognition that “we know nothing”. Hashem always has our best interest in mind. Sometime we realize it, sometimes not, but it is always the case, whether we comprehend it or not.
As we head into Nissan, a month in which Klal Yisrael were redeemed from their first and most difficult galus, we must remember that that galus was absolutely necessary - it gave them what they needed to become the am Hashem. In this important month let us work on internalizing that idea.
The Dangers of Powerful Tefila
In his sefer, Shearim biTefila, Rav Shimshon Pincus zt”l discusses the astounding koach of tefila, particularly when a person begs with great intensity and does not stop until he receives what he seeks. He goes on to say: “How far are we from knowing what really is best for us. If a person asks for wealth, or even great chochma, he may eventually realize how good it was that he did not receive it”.
So what should a person do with his tefilos? How does he ensure to daven correctly for that which is truly good for him?
The answer is that he should express that everything should all be in accordance with the ratzon Hashem. For example if he is davening for a shidduch, he should ask that Hashem send him the correct shidduch - the one that is ratzon Hashem for him. Likewise with parnasa - he should ask for parnasa according to what Hashem knows is best for him.
What about in a situation of enormous pain and difficulty? How should he ensure that he expresses himself correctly in those circumstances, lo alenu? Rav Pincus answers that he should say many perakim of Tehillim, or heavily rely upon the nusacha’os of Chazal. He should cry and scream out to Hashem tefilos, using those forms of tefila, and beg Him to bring him a yeshua for what he needs.
