Seϔiras Ha'Omer
"When the Divrei Chaim of Sanz zt'l counted sefiras ha'omer, his face would turn black like coal, and he climbed up straight walls." This is how his student, Rebbe Avraham Yehoshua Freund, the Nasadar Rav zt'l described the Sanzer Rav's overflowing hislahavus when he performed the mitzvah of sefiras ha'omer.
I witnessed a glimpse of this kind of hislahavus. When my grandfather, Reb Moshe Mordechai of Lelov zt’l, was old, he lived at my parents' home, and he davened maariv and counted sefiras ha'omer at home. He was weak and old, but this didn't prevent him from counting sefiras ha'omer with all his strength and concentration. His excitement was palpable. He would repeat, around ten times, with intense yearning and emotion ...מעלה של בקדושה ואתקדש ואטהר and את ולתקן ופגם סיג מכל נפשותינו (from the tefillah after sefiras haomer).
(After he finished sefiras ha'omer, my mother looked around the house to ensure that everything was okay and that nothing broke due to her father-in-law's powerful sefiras ha'omer.)
Here we discuss the hislahavus that others can see, but more important is the hislahavus that is felt in the heart and concealed from others, that only Hashem knows about. Because hislahavus has two sides: the external and the internal. The external hislahavus is what people can see, such as a tzaddik's loud, emotional voice, his glowing face, and eyes closed in deep meditation. But the primary hislahavus is the internal hislahavus of the heart, his fiery yearning for Hashem. The ultimate goal is the internal hislahavus, the feelings of the heart.
Hashem calls the Jewish nation (Shemos 19:6) קדוש גוי, which can be translated as "holy inside" (see Bava Kama 9: גומל שליש). Rebbe Henoch of Alexander zt’l explained, קדוש גוי, the inside of the Yid should be holy. Don't be satisfied with an external expression of hislahavus. The goal is that the enthusiasm should be in the heart, too.
Similarly, we say, תתהלל קדושים ובקרב (end of Nishmas). The Rizhiner Rebbe zt'l translates it, קרב, the inside of a Yid should praise Hashem. The praise should emerge from the heart.
Nevertheless, the external hislahavus has its virtue and place, as it helps people develop the internal hislahavus.
As the Mesilas Yesharim (ch.7) teaches, "The most precious avodas Hashem is the desire of the heart... As it states (Tehillim 84:3), לאלקים נפשי צמאה, 'My soul thirsts for Hashem...' If your heart isn't yearning for Hashem, you should perform mitzvos with zrizus, as this will increase your yearning, since the body's deeds arouse the heart's emotions..."
You can test it. For example, when you pretend you are happy and enthusiastic with sefiras ha'omer, this will become a reality. Whereas, if you perform the mitzvah with laziness, this is how you will feel about the mitzvah. This is because external actions influence the heart.
To explain, we quote the following Gemara (Pesachim 117.): "When a chapter of Tehillim begins with מזמור לדוד, this means Dovid had ruach hakodesh and then sang praises to Hashem. However, when it states, לדוד מזמור Dovid sang praises to Hashem first, and then he attained ruach hakodesh." This is because singing praises to Hashem can be the result of having ruach hakodesh, and singing can also inspire and help one attain ruach hakodesh.
Something similar occurs when we daven and perform mitzvos with hislahavus. The hislahavus can be the expression of the fervor and joy that is already felt in the heart. And, at other times, when one isn't yet sufficiently inspired, the hislahavus begins externally, and helps acquire the genuine, internal hislahavus.
At the end of this week's parashah it states (11:44) קדושים והייתם והתקדשתם. The Chasam Sofer zt'l translates, "Act as though you are holy, and you will be holy." The pasuk urges us to pretend we are kadosh, which will become our reality.
The tzaddikim of Slonim would say that שקר, falsehood, is a terrible trait. Nevertheless, it is permitted and recommended to pretend to be happy even when it is not so, because pretending makes it happen. Similarly, pretend that you are excited and overjoyed with the mitzvah of sefiras ha'omer, and then it will be so.
This week, we begin learning Pirkei Avos. We conclude each chapter of Pirkei Avos with the words הלכך ישראל את לזכות ה"הקב רצה ומצוות תורה להם הרבה, "Hashem wanted to give merits to Bnei Yisrael, therefore, He gave them a large Torah with many mitzvos. As it states ויאדיר תורה יגדיל צדקו למען חפץ 'ה." The Chinuch (mitzvah 16) explains, כפי נפעל האדם כי פעולתיו, "A person becomes like the deeds he performs because one's heart and thoughts follow his actions for the good or bad." The many mitzvos in the Torah enable a person to always be engaged in Torah and mitzvos, which transforms him into a better Yid.
As the Chinuch writes, "Even a rasha who thinks bad thoughts all day, if he would study Torah diligently and perform the mitzvos without proper leshem shamayim intentions, he will immediately become good. Conversely, if a person is a perfect tzaddik but does bad deeds (for example, the king forces him to do something corrupt, repeatedly), with time, he won't be a tzaddik anymore. Because a person becomes what he does..."
The Chinuch explains that this is the reason we have many mitzvos to remind us of yetzias Mitzrayim. They serve to ingrain in our minds the truth that Hashem took us out of Mitzrayim, in a way that fewer mitzvos couldn't accomplish.
He writes, "Don't ask me why Hashem commanded us to do so many mitzvos that commemorate the miracles of yetzias Mitzrayim? Hashem could have given us one mitzvah so that we remember, and that would have been sufficient. Know that the yetzer hara is convincing you to ask this question..." because it is important to do many deeds, as they make an imprint on one's heart and thoughts.
Mitzvos influence the heart. As we explained above, the same applies to how we perform the mitzvos. If we show hislahavus, our hearts will adopt these emotions.
Rebbe Yochanan of Stolin zt'l taught that this concept is the foundation of chassidus. Chassidus emphasizes the importance of emotions and serving Hashem with joy and enthusiasm, but how does one attain these feelings? It begins with deeds because what we do influences our hearts.
The Ran (Pesachim 28) writes, "The Midrash states that when Moshe Rabbeinu informed the Jewish nation that they would receive the Torah on Har Sinai, the nation asked, 'When will this be?' Moshe replied that it would happen in fifty days. The nation began counting the days. Because of this count, the chachamim instituted sefiras ha'omer."
So, since the mitzvah's essence is about yearning, it is appropriate to perform it with an intense longing for Hashem.
