I'm a multi-tasker... I can listen, ignore, and forget all at the same time!
"How long have you been working at that office?"
"Ever since they threatened to fire me."
JOKES
Stereotyping
A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap. He’s telling a Chelm joke, portraying people from Chelm as less than intelligent. An indignant Chelmer stands up. “What gives you the right to stereotype people from Chelm that way?” he demands. “What does the city where I live have to do with my worth as a human being?”
Embarrassed, the ventriloquist begins to stammer out an apology. “You keep out of this!” he yells. “I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!”
First Day at School
The child comes home from his first day at school. His mother asks, "Well, what did you learn today?"
The child replies, "Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow."
Office Work
The two partners in a law firm were having lunch when suddenly one of them jumped up and said, "I have to go back to the office. I forgot to lock the safe!"
The other partner replied, "What are you worried about? We're both here."
The Doctor and the Old Man
An old man visits a doctor to seek treatment for the severe pain he has in his right leg. The doctor tells him that the pain is due to his age and that nothing can be done about it. The old man gets angry and questions the doctor's ability and expertise. When the doctor asks him why he feels that he is incapable, the old man replies that his left leg is as old as his right leg, but it has no pain at all.
