Thank you as always for the feedback, it is much appreciated. We have BH begun a new year of Yeshiva in Toronto. We (along with all of the bochurim who have started or will shortly begin Yeshiva) are learning Bava kama this year, so I found it fitting to share with you a story (that surely all of you have heard at some point already) that is right out of Bava kama:
There was once a man who was looking for a respectable and proven way to earn a living. He wanted a profession that would be both honorable and high earning, and one in which he wouldn’t have to give up all of his hard earned profits to taxes. After much contemplation he decided to become a . . . thief.
Sure enough, this occupation provided very well for him and his family. He was able to send his children to the best schools, he was a much admired philanthropist and, needless to say, in shul he sat in the mizrach and got all the most important aliyos.
This went on for many years, with his success always increasing, and his family doing very well. Eventually it was time to retire, and he began to slow down. He was doing less “jobs”, and, having more time on his hands, he began doing more thinking (being idle is never a healthy circumstance to be in). The more he contemplated how he had spent his life, the more he began to be filled with remorse (and, perhaps this was also taking place during the month of Ellul, when thoughts of teshuva are never far off).
The more he thought, the more his conscience troubled him, until finally he decided – he was going to become a baal teshuva. He became immersed in his accounting books, trying to reconstruct who all of his victims were, and how much he owed each one, so that he could repay them all.
His wife noticed that he was very preoccupied, and she started questioning him about it, but the man was evasive. But seeing him busy with books and numbers, she became alarmed. Was his “business” failing? Were they facing financial ruin ch”v? She didn’t let up, until finally he shared his plans with her.
“WHAT?!!” she exclaimed. “Are you crazy? Fool! How can you even think of such a thing! Don’t you realize that we’ll be left penniless (you see his “job” didn’t exactly leave him with much of a pension or other benefits)? That will be the end of my fancy sheitlech, the end of our names on all the tzedaka committees, the end of all of our high standards of Yiddishkeit. Why, you won’t even be left with a gartel to call your own (let alone a shtreimel, a bekeshe or veise zokken)!”
The man saw the wisdom of his wife’s arguments. After all, surely Hashem did not want him to forfeit his gartel! So, he decided (leshem shomayim, of course) not to ‘rock to boat’, and to continue his earlier pious lifestyle.
The Rabbis of the time heard about the story (probably some of them were amongst his victims, and were directly affected by this), and were very troubled. How can we allow that a Jew should go back on his intention to repent? They therefore decreed: ‘When a thief wishes to do teshuva and comes to you to return the stolen goods, one should never accept the stolen goods from him. The thieves will all realize this, and there will be nothing to stop them from doing teshuva (since they can become baalei teshuva (in addition to tzaddikim, which they had been until that point) without it costing them a penny). They don’t need to forfeit anything!
I was thinking about this story, and it seems to me to be remarkable in the extreme. Picture the following scenario: You get a call from a Mr. Ira Lee Sorkin. He introduces himself as the attorney for Mr. Bernie Madoff. Madoff, he explains to you, has been spending his time in prison repenting. Now he has decided that he wants to become a full-fledged baal teshuva. He therefore has finally revealed where he has hidden away many more billions of dollars, and he wants to use it to make restitution to his victims, including you.
You are overjoyed! You lost your entire life savings to that ganov, your plans for the future have gone up in smoke, and you’ve spent a few miserable years in abject poverty. It’s only fair and just that he should make it up to you.
But wait! Our sages have other plans. They’re concerned that Mr. Madoff may change his mind about his repentance, so they want you to tell Mr. Sorkin “That’s Ok, Mr. Madoff can keep the money, along with my best wishes and blessings”.
“WHAT?!” you splutter. “What’s his teshuva even worth if I don’t get my money back? He should become a baal teshuva, while continuing to live with my money and leaving me (and thousands others) suffering deprivation? What’s the value of his davening? He could shockel all day long, but that’s my gartel that he’s wearing!”
So you are explained that teshuva is so important, so precious to Hashem, that we have to be able to sacrifice our comforts – and even our basic necessities – to enable another Jew to do Teshuva.
But you are not placated. ‘It’s not just about my comforts, and my standard of living’, you argue, ‘what about my own mitzvos? Because of all of this money that was stolen from me the standard of my children’s chinuch was compromised, I can’t buy the Esrog that I wanted, I even have to give up on my annual trip to Uman! Why should I have to give up on my mitzvos, on my spirituality and inspiration, so that that low life scoundrel (who destroyed my life and countless others so callously) should be able to satisfy his conscience??!!!’
So the sages explain to you: You don’t understand. Teshuva is much greater than all other aspects of Torah and mitzvos. It is indeed reasonable that the teshuva of this individual should take precedence over your mitzvos (and, yes, even over your spending yom tov in Uman).
But you are far from mollified. ‘That is all good and fine, but this was my money, it was there for my needs, let that heartless criminal do teshuva at his own expense! Besides, it’s not only my lifestyle or my mitzvos that are being compromised, but my teshuva as well. I also have things to do teshuva for, and without money it is so much more difficult for me. Every person can find things to do teshuva for.
[An elder chosid was once in yechidus with the Rebbe. During the yechidus, he expressed his outrage. “A shidduch was suggested for my einikel, with a baal teshuva. For my einikel! A baal teshuva!” The Rebbe smiled at him warmly, and replied: “You have a simple solution. You, too, can do teshuva!”]
‘Moreover’, you continue to fume, ‘if I got my money back, I could be giving money to hundreds of Chabad houses and Yeshivos, and supporting thousands of baalei teshuva, who are all much more worthy than this one cruel villain. What justification is there for me to give up on what’s rightfully mine for his sake?!’
Which sounds like a very powerful question. Why indeed?! Seemingly, the only possible answer is: It’s not about me.
The whole question stems from a sense of belonging, of entitlement. It’s my money, my possessions, they belong to me, and I should have priority in benefiting from them. From this perspective, it is indeed astounding that my money should go to protect the interests (even if they are the spiritual needs) of some scoundrel, before my own needs.
But the Torah seems to offer us a very different perspective. There’s no “mine” or “yours”. Everything belongs to the Eibishter, “laHashem ho’oretz umloi’oh”. Both I and my possessions are in existence in order to somehow add to the glory of Hashem in the world and reveal malchus shomayim.
Put that way, it doesn’t make any difference where the origin of the money is, all that matters is what way it is meant to serve as a catalyst for a kidush Hashem. If I continue to live in poverty and the money makes it easier for a different Jew to carry out his mission in this world, what difference does that make, as long as the ultimate goal is reached?
We all know from Hayom Yom that chassidim would say “This piece of bread is yours as much as its mine”. And this story in gemoro seems to strongly illustrate this ideal: There’s no such thing as my money or your money, all that is relevant is how both us and the money and the belongings will lead to a dira batachtonim. The same is true about everything in life. We have to be able to view everything not as a vehicle to increase our conveniences or enjoyments of the world, but, rather, as a vehicle to establishing G-d as the King of the entire Universe.
[As the gemoro says, even if I’m travelling in the desert, and I have only one cup of water, just enough to survive, not necessarily is the fact that it belongs to me an indication that it is meant to save my life. VAKM].
There was a certain chosid who got married, and discovered that his wife was, well, a pain. He was kind and good-hearted, and she was nagging and harassing, and turned his life into a gehinom on this earth. The chosid tried to bear it as long as possible, but it reached the point that he just couldn’t endure any more. He felt that he was at the breaking point.
He went to the Rebbe Rashab to pour out his heart, feeling that the only solution for him was to divorce her. But the Rebbe had other ideas in mind!
The Rebbe said to him: “What will happen, so you will divorce her? But she can’t remain alone, she will have to marry someone else. In that case, what did you gain? That new husband will have to suffer. Why is it more fair that he should suffer than that you should?!”
The chosid did, in fact, remain married to her (and they went on to live, well, happily ever after).
We would think (possibly) – this is my marriage, my life and my future. Why should I sacrifice it to protect some nameless, faceless person of the future? But that was not the approach of Torah, of chassidus. There is no mine or yours, there is merely the ultimate goal. The only consideration is what path is the shortest and the surest to the realization of the rotzon ho’Elyon.
When the Alter Rebbe used to say short maamorim, he once said a maamar on the Possuk אשרי העם שככה לו , and he explained that the word ככה means " אזוי ", - “just so”. “Ashrei ho’om shekocho loi” means fortunate are the nation who live with “kocho”; - " אזוי אזוי איז דער ענין " און ניט אנדערש " (and he concluded that then “Hashem” is “Elokov”).
We need only to know what path leads to more G-dliness in the world, what is our directions from Torah. Our conduct needs then to be “just so”, nothing further is important or relevant.
We just began the month of Ellul, when the Melech, the King, is in the field, and when our entire focus needs to be on being mekabel pnei hamelech. What this means is awakening our sense of kabolas ol malchus shomayim. We bear the yoke of our King, and, as such, nothing else is of importance. The only criteria is how we can be of service to our King.
The more we internalize this mindset, the more our behaviour will be in accordance with it. And subsequently, as the Alter Rebbe explains, the King will, in turn, greet us with a sever ponim yofois , and show us His smiling countenance, and, unquestionably grant us all a kesiva vachasima tova filled with all of His brochos in gashmyus and in ruchnyus and – most importantly – for Moshiach Now!
L’chaim! May we each use out these days and weeks of Ellul to be mekabel pnei hamelech, and may He, in turn, help us to experience His “ponim yofois” and “ponim soichokois” and all of His brochos in abundance, beginning with the hisgalus of Moshiach Tzidkeinu TUMYM!!!
Rabbi Akiva Wagner
