It states (Tehillim 23:4) ינחמוני המה ומשענתך שבטך, "Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me." The rod (שבטך) represents afflictions and punishment (Midrash Shocher Tov). Even afflictions are a source of comfort for us. The Chida (Nachal Kedumim) explains that this is because we believe that everything is for our benefit and good. Therefore, Chazal (Brachos 61:) tell us that we should praise Hashem for the bad, because that which appears bad is also for our benefit.
Yismach Yisrael writes that this is alluded to in the first pasuk of this week's parashah, לשבטיך לך נתן אלקיך 'ה אשר. He explains that לשבטיך represents the yesurim, and לך נתן means that the yesurim are like a gift that Hashem gives to a person. The yesurim are a gift given to the person because they are for his ultimate good.
The Chofetz Chaim zt'l (Shem Olam, Shemiras Shabbos, ch.3 in the footnote) brings another pasuk from this week's parashah that tells us that yesurim are for our good. It states (18:13) תמים אלקיך 'ה עם תהיה, "Be wholehearted with Hashem, your G-d." Rashi writes, "Conduct yourself with Him with temimus and rely on Him. Do not inquire of the future; rather accept whatever happens to you with temimus, and then you will be with Him and to His portion." Rashi is telling us to accept everything that Hashem gives us, and this is because whatever Hashem gives us is certainly for our benefit.
Chofetz Chaim writes, "A person should have temimus with Hashem and believe that everything is for the good... And then, in the end, he will certainly see that those matters, themselves [which he thought were bad], were a great chesed and kindness."
It states (Devarim 13:5) ואותו תלכו אלקיכם 'ה אחרי תיראו, "You shall follow Hashem, your G-d, and fear Him..." What type of fear is the pasuk referring to? Ibn Ezra writes, תיראו ואותו זה למה מלשאול, "You should be afraid of Hashem to ask, 'Why is it this way?'" One should be afraid to ask, "Why is Hashem doing this to me?" We should be afraid to ask this because we believe that it is all for the good. The Chofetz Chaim explains that a person's mind is weak and limited, so he shouldn't question Hakadosh Baruch Hu.
There is a mashal of a father who brings his son to the dentist. If the son is afraid of the pain, the father isn't upset at his son about it because it is natural to be scared of the dentist and the pain. But if the son says to the father, "Why are you doing this to me? Why don't you love me? Why do you want to harm me?" the father will be upset at his son for speaking and thinking this way. His son should know that he loves him, and if he brings him to the dentist, it is because he needs the dentist, and it is the best thing for him. We should be certain that Hashem loves us, and therefore, we should never complain about Hashem.
We must believe that everything that occurs is solely for our good.
Reb Shlomo Kluger on Shulchan Aruch (שלמה חכמת, Orach Chaim, 46) writes, "When a person says the brachah צרכי כל לי שעשה, thanking Hashem for providing him with all his needs, he fulfills Chazal's dictum of (Brachos 54.) 'A person must praise Hashem for the bad as he praises Hashem for the good.' This is because he proclaims daily that he has all his needs. But behold there are days that are chas v'shalom bad for the person. How can he praise Hashem and say the brachah צרכי כל לי שעשה, claiming that he has everything he needs when he is lacking things and things aren’t going right for him? The answer is that he believes that the bad is also for his benefit, and he blesses Hashem for the hardships, too. And how the bad is actually good is explained by Chazal (Brachos 5.). They teach that yesurim help a person earn Olam HaBa. The Midrash (Bereishis Rabba 65:9) says that Yitzchak chose yesurim [because this enables us to attain Olam HaBa and forgiveness for our aveiros]." With this in mind, we can always say צרכי כל לי שעשה, everything is precisely as it should be.
The Zlotchover Magid zt'l was very poor early on in his life and suffered from a lot of yesurim, and yet he was always happy. When he was poor, his students asked him how he said the brachah צרכי כל לי שעשה to thank Hashem for everything he has when he lacks so much. He replied, "Apparently, one of my needs is to be poor. Why else would Hashem make me poor? So, with this brachah, I thank Hashem for my poverty, too, because that is one of my needs" (מזלאטשוב המגיד תורת p.286).
Sifsei Tzaddik (Mikeitz 15) writes that a baal yesurim told Rebbe Bunim of Peshischa that he feels he cannot say the brachah צרכי כל לי שעשה, 'Who gave me all my needs," because he doesn't have all his needs. He said that if he said the brachah, it would be a brachah l'vatalah (a brachah said in vain) because the brachah doesn't apply to him. Rebbe Bunim replied, "Hashem is certainly giving you all your needs. One of your needs is to perfect your soul. This occurs when you accept everything Hashem gives you lovingly. So, Hashem is giving you all your needs because Hashem is arranging opportunities and tests so that you can reach perfection by accepting Hashem's leadership and plan with emunah."
It is said in the name of the Apter Rav zt'l, "Whoever accepts Hashem as He is, Hashem will accept him as he is." This means that when a person doesn't question Hashem and His ways, Hashem won't be so critical about his behavior, and Hashem will bestow many brachos on him.
I heard the following story from a fine Yid from America. Several years ago, he fell while building a succah and was rushed to the hospital. Next to him in the hospital was a ninety-year-old Yid called Reb Zev Deutsch. Reb Zev told him, "Listen, my son, remember this rule at all times: Don't mourn or cry over what happens to you because everything is for the good. Nothing bad happens to a person; only sometimes the good is concealed. The following story happened to me. When I was a bachur, I escaped from the resha'im ym's. I ran from Veitzin to Pest. I escaped together with five friends. At that time, our lives were in constant danger because we didn't have any documents or passports to prove we weren't fugitives. One of the bachurim remembered that he had a relative in the city we were passing through. He immediately went to the relative's home. The baalas habayis heard where we were hiding, and she brought us bread and water. A few days later, this relative returned with five forged Swiss passports. When she came with the passports, my neshamah almost left me, because we were a group of six, and she only brought five passports. She had made a mistake, thinking we were five. I was left without a passport. The forger refused to create another passport.
The five bachurim left me and went on their way. As soon as they left, I sat on the floor and cried over my bitter fate. I thought, "All my friends are on their way to freedom, while I remain here in darkness. Who knows what will be with me?" But Hakadosh Baruch Hu said, "Why do you cry, my son? Don't cry. I will prepare your salvation." This is what occurred. A general stopped my friends at a checkpoint to check their passports. Something about the passports aroused his suspicion. He called over his friend, an expert in detecting forged passports. This officer confirmed that the passports were fake. The five were thrown into the Danube River, where they breathed their last, hy'd. But, as you see, I survived. And now I am in the nineties. So why should you cry over Hashem's ways."
Reb Zev Deutsch, in this story, felt very alone when his friends left him with their passports, and he had to remain behind, but it was for his benefit. Many people feel alone. Some people have trouble finding their shidduch; others don't have children, parnassah, or nachas, r'l, and they feel alone. They feel like they are the only person in the world who is suffering so much. But they need not worry. A great salvation is being prepared for them, and everything is certainly for the best.
A poor person in Eretz Yisrael couldn’t pay the electricity bill, and the electric company turned off his power. The family sat in the dark, bemoaning their poverty, which had reached such a low level that they couldn't even pay their electric bill. As they sat there with long faces, their wealthy neighbor knocked at their door. The rich neighbor asked, "Do you know why half of my home doesn't have electricity?" They soon discovered that half of the wealthy man's home was once part of the poor man's apartment. Therefore, when the electricity of the poor family was cut off, the electricity of half of the wealthy man's home was turned off together with it. The wealthy man also understood that the poor man was paying half of the electric bill for him. He immediately gave the poor man $20,000.
The poor family discovered that their problem was good for them. They were upset that they had to sit in the darkness and couldn't afford to pay the electric company, but this problem turned into a $20,000 gift!
Menoras HaMaor (ב"פ א"ח 'ג כלל 'ה נר) writes, ירחמו השמים מן ,בוראו דין בהן ויצדיק בשמחה יקבלם ואם ,אדם של עונותיו ממקרקין יסורין בזכותו דורו ולבני לו ויושיעו ,מצרותו ויוציאוהו עליו, "Yesurim cleanse a person from his aveiros. And if he accepts them with joy and understands that Hashem is correct in His judgment [to afflict him], heaven will have compassion and save him from his tzaros. And the entire generation will be saved in his merit." In brief, Menoras HaMaor is saying that if he accepts the yesurim with joy, the yesurim will leave him, and he will bring salvation to the entire world.
Magid Meisharim (beginning of parashas Vayeishev) tells that the magid (the malach that spoke to the Beis Yosef) told the Beis Yosef that his wife (it was the Beis Yosef's third wife) will have male children. The malach added that according to nature, his wife couldn’t bear children. (Because in a previous gilgul, his wife was a man, a talmid chacham, and therefore, she wasn't able to bear children.) But she had special merits, and because of them, the Magid told her that she would bear children. One merit was that the Beis Yosef went into exile to study Torah, and it was hard for her. When the Beis Yosef returned home, he fell ill, and she took care of him during his illness, which was also very difficult for her. She accepted the difficulties with a joyous heart and thus merited to have children.
We quote, "She merited this [to bear children] because of her good deeds, and because she had tzaar when you went away from her to galus, and also because of the tzaar she had when she took care of you when you were ill. A person gains so much from accepting yesurim with a happy countenance, just like someone who merited to perform a mitzvah... and therefore, she will give birth to male sons for you, as I promised you."
וַי is an expression of agony, as people shout, "Woe" or "Oy.” And thinking that it is only for a שעה, short time, this helps him be happy with the yesurim.
Meor Einayim (Lech Lecha) writes, "Someone who has intelligence and thinks about what happens to him will find the good that follows [the yesurim]. And if he doesn't find the good, then the dinim were certainly to redeem him from his aveiros and bring him to Olam HaBa. As Chazal (Yoma 86.) states, 'Yesurim cleanses away the sins of man.' And there is certainly no greater kindness than that..."
The Ben Ish Chai (Ben Yehoyada) writes, "With Hashem's help, I think the explanation is as follows: How can a person be happy with yesurim? However, when one thinks that the tzaar is for a short time... and this will save him from many years of distress... he will be happy with the yesurim... He thinks that the וַי of the yesurim is only for a שעה, a short time.
A person has a mitzvah to be לישועה צפית, to await Hashem's salvation because, at any moment, Hashem will remove the yesurim from him. In the merit of these thoughts and of his joy, he merits to bring salvation to the world, because וַי with שעה spell ישועה."
Re Yankele of Pshevorsk zt'l was once collecting money for the poor, and at one person's door, he fell and hurt himself. At this time, Rebbe Yankele told the following story:
A man committed a crime, and the judge ordered to give him fifty lashes. This wealthy person went clandestinely to the one who gives the lashes, paid him money, and asked that he not hit him hard. He should pretend that he is hitting him, but he shouldn’t. He agreed to the plan. As he was giving the lashes, he snapped the whip near the man’s back as though he was hitting him, but the whip didn't touch his back. By the fiftieth lash, however, he hit him with the whip with all his strength.
The wealthy person complained, "Why did you hit me the fiftieth time? I paid you that you shouldn’t hit me." He replied, "I wanted you to know what you were saved from the other forty-nine times."
Reb Yankele explained that tzedakah protects from punishment. The fact that he goes door to door to collect money for the poor will save him from a lot of tzaros and pain. Heaven wanted to show him an example of what he was being saved from, which is why he fell.
