תענית ל א, תנו רבנן, כל מצות הנוהגות באבל נוהגות בתשעה באב , אסור באכילה ובשתיה ובסיכה ובנעילת הסנדל ובתשמיש המטה , ואסור לקרות בתורה בנביאים ובכתובים ולשנות במשנה בתלמוד ובמדרש ובהלכות ובאגדות אבל קורא הוא במקום שאינו רגיל לקרות ושונה במקום שאינו רגיל לשנות וקורא בקינות באיוב ובדברים הרעים שבירמיה ותינוקות של בית רבן בטלין משום שנאמר (תהלים יט ט) פִּּקּוּדֵי ה' יְשָּׁרִּ ים מְשַמְחֵי לֵב . רבי יהודה אומר, אף אינו קורא במקום שאינו רגיל לקרות ואינו שונה במקום שאינו רגיל לשנות , אבל קורא הוא באיוב ובקינות ובדברים הרעים שבירמיהו ותינוקות של בית רבן בטלים בו , משום שנאמר פִּּקוּדֵי ה' יְשָרִּ ים מְשַמְחֵי לֵב .
ובאבות דרבי נתן (כ א) רבי חנניה סגן הכהנים אומר , כל הנותן ד"ת על לבו , מבטלין ממנו הרהורי חרב הרהורי רעב הרהורי שטות הרהורי זנות הרהורי יצר הרע הרהורי אשת איש הרהורי דברים בטלים הרהורי עול בשר ודם, שכן כתוב בספר תלים על ידי דוד מלך ישראל שנא מר (תהלים יט ט )פִּּקּוּדֵי ה' יְשָּׁרִּ ים מְשַמְחֵי לֵב מִּצְוַת ה' בָּרָּה מְאִּירַת עֵינָּיִּם . וכל שאינו נותן דברי תורה על לבו, נותנין לו הרהורי חרב הרהורי רעב הרהורי שטות הרהורי זנות הרהורי יצר הרע הרהורי אשת איש הרהורי דברים בטלים הרהורי עול בשר ודם, שכך כתתוב במשנה תורה על ידי משה רבינו (תבא כח מו -מח )וְהָיוּ בְךָ לְאוֹת וּלְמוֹפֵת וּבְזַרְ עֲךָ עַד עוֹלָם תַחַת אֲשֶר לֹא עָבַדְתָ אֶת ה' אֱלֹקֶ יךָ בְשִּמְחָה וּבְטוּב לֵבָב מֵרֹב כֹל וְעָבַדְתָ אֶת אֹיְבֶיךָ אֲשֶר יְשַלְחֶנוּ ה' בָךְ בְרָעָב וּבְצָמָא וּבְעֵירֹם וּבְחֹסֶר כֹל .
רש"י עה"פ וַיְהִּי עֵשָו אִּיש יֹדֵעַ צַיִּד אִּיש שָדֶה (כה כז) אִּיש שָדֶה , כמשמעו אדם בטל וצודה בקשתו חיות ועופות .
(Rashi) who wasted his time on capturing animals (i.e. doing nothing constructive) couldn’t really be a truly happy person. Fake fun brings no Simcha.
When dealing with the public, many, many times I see a lack of Simcha. People want to be: נוֹשֵ א בְ עוֹל (feel the plight) with the soldiers in Eretz Yisroel. However, they end up getting depressed, or sleeping “2 ½ hours at night” (unquote). They worry about their sins, and the average person has loads of guilt. There are no rules, and people are different. But it has happened that I’ve told people: “You have only one Mitzva; be B'simcha!”
Sometimes Simcha Is Virtually Your Only Mitzva
Of course, they have to keep Taryag Mitzvos. But they need a main focus of Simcha to dominate their lives, or else they could be in big trouble. And despite their “Shas”, and loads of Tzedaka and Chesed and Dikduk B’mitzvos, they are nervous and/or angry and/or depressive. Some of them need desperately to practice Simcha, even: בֵ ין הַ פְּ רָ קִּ ים during the breaks while reading Eicha on Tisha B’av, on the holy day of Yom Kippur, and even to squeeze in some Simcha energy while they have a blatt Gemara open before them.
(Ideally, the blatt Gemara should give plenty Simcha; but this doesn’t always happen). Many people suffer from chronic negative thinking, and are always Chazzering (reviewing) their sins and mistakes, their issues and embarrassments and being guilty for some things they did, their shortcomings, their ongoing worries and inferiority complexes. They need to cancel and challenge these thoughts, and trade them with positive thoughts (even to the extreme) and thoughts of how good Bizyonos is, or how great is a: לֵ ב נִּ שְ בַ ר broken heart, or to be in “denial” of their problems, or to put a stop (halt) on all those unending worries and have Bitachon, etc.
The only time we have an official Mitzva of being happy is on Yom Tov, where it says: וְשָמַחְתָ בְחַגֶךָ You shall rejoice during your Chag, and Chazal say: אֵ ין שִּ מְ חָ ה אֶ לָ א בְ בָ שָ ר וְ יַ יִּ ן you can only have Simcha with meat and wine. And the holiest day of the week (Shabbos) must have: עֹ נֶ ג enjoyment, which is only by having: בָשָֹר וְדָגִּים וְכָל מַטְעַמִּים good meat, fish, and all types of good tasting foods. When depressed people would call R’ Avigdor Miller Zatzal, he would say: “Eat cake!” After 100 Pesukim of the worst Tzaros in the world (in the Tochacha; i.e., the horrible punishments mentioned at length in Parshas Ki Savo), the Torah says the reason is: תַחַת אֲשֶר לֹא עָבַדְתָ אֶת ה' אֱלֹקֶיךָ בְשִּמְחָה וּבְטוּב לֵבָב תבא כח מז for not serving Hashem with Simcha; this is the reason for Churban. Not any other Aveira. Not Avoda Zara, Gilui Arayos, or Sh'ficus Damim. We see how special Simcha is, and sometimes it’s virtually your only Mitzva!
Simcha Gives a Person Chizuk to Withstand Great Nisyonos
A person without Simcha is like a car without gas, and a plant without sunshine. He’s simply dysfunctional! The more Simcha a person has, the more he is ready for: כָ ל הַ ת וֹרָ ה כ וּלָ הּ the entire Torah. Since the official Simcha recipe is “eating good food”, we can suggest (at least: בְ דֶ רֶ ךְ רֶ מֶ ז as a Remez) that Yitzchok was M’chanech Eisav with constant doses of Simcha; he loved him by eating with him and appreciating his: כִּי צַיִּד בְפִּיו food.
וְרִ בְקָּה אֹהֶבֶת אֶת יַעֲקֹב Rivka “loves” Yaakov. The word: אֹהֶבֶת “loves” (in present tense) means constant, and perhaps she knew that someday Yaakov would end up in her hometown “Aram” with all the crooks and Lavan. She would forever be an inspiration for him, since she remained pure despite such a background. Similarly, וְיִשְׂרָּאֵל אָּהַב אֶת יוֹסֵף לז ג Yaakov loved Yosef, since someday Yosef would need his father, i.e., during the Nisayon of the wife of Potiphar. And indeed, Chazal say that the vision of his father stopped him from sinning, and R' Chaim Tzvi Fogel Zatzal explained that he remembered: וְיִשְׂרָּאֵל אָּהַב אֶת יוֹסֵף לז ג his father’s special love.
וַיַעְקְ בֵנִּי זֶׂה פַעֲמַיִּם כז לו
A Person Must Be Shrewd and Cunning Against the Yetzer Hara
Eisav complained to his father that Yaakov tricked him twice. (Targum: וְ חַ כְ מַ נִּ י). So must a person be tricky in Avodas Hashem, as Chazal say: הֱוֵי עָרוּם בְיִּרְ אָה ברכות יז א be shrewd and cunning in Yiras Shamayim! Let the Yetzer Hara cry like Eisav: וַיִצְעַק צְעָּקָּה גְדֹלָּה וּמָּרָּה עַד מְאֹד כז לד a loud and bitter scream. Perhaps, the whole episode of Rivka teaching Yaakov to be tricky with Eisav was all a Remez against the Yetzer Hara. Rivka was an expert against the Yetzer Hara, especially since she came out pure despite a brother Lavan, etc.
Also, it says: וַיָּגֶל אֶת הָּאֶבֶן מֵעַל פִי הַבְאֵר כט י Yaakov rolled the stone off the well. A stone can be a Remez to the Yetzer Hara, as it says: וַהֲסִרֹתִי לֵב הָּאֶבֶן מִבְשָּׂרָּם וְנתַתִּי לָּהֶם לֵב בָּשָּׂר יחזקאל יא יט Hashem will remove our heart of “stone”, and replace it with a feeling heart. Yaakov took off a giant stone, which so many shepherds couldn’t do. A person has to remove his own: לֵב הָּאֶבֶן heart of stone (i.e., the Yetzer Hara), and perhaps we can say that Yaakov’s ability to remove the physical: אֶבֶן stone was a Mashal to the spiritual “stone”. And the fact that many other shepherds couldn’t do it is also a Mashal, that Yaakov was a super Gibbor against his Yetzer, much more than many other people.
Go Extreme in Not Being Negative
The Meforshim (Rashbam, the holy Alshich and Ohr HaChaim) say that Rivka avoided telling Yitzchok that Eisav hated Yaakov. This is despite the fact that Eisav actually wanted to kill Yaakov! Look how careful Rivka was to avoid what any person would consider beyond vital! Look at the extreme in avoiding gossip! Instead, she said that Yaakov has to leave since she didn’t want him to marry a girl from Bnos Cheis.
Which woman wouldn’t tell her husband such a vital piece of information? Although it’s terribly negative and depressing, people would feel it’s their duty to reveal the reality of the situation. We see the total purity of Rivka Imeinu, and her going extreme in not being negative! And for sure she was loaded with Emuna and Bitachon, and reliance on Hashem that things will work out.
Did she have whom to talk to, when she was back home in Aram (with a brother like Lavan and a father Besuel). They were all against her, and she had only Hashem. So now, although in the presence of her beloved Yitzchok, she still had only Hashem. This is a big Mussar Haskel. There are loads of gossip areas that couples have no Heter to discuss, and there is no Mitzva to tell your spouse even your most private secrets, if it’s unnecessary, or Lashon Hara, Chas V'shalom. Don’t forget to keep being a positive “liar” at all costs! And lead a happy life!
