A Yid once said: The older I get, the more I let go of different aspects of running the world. It’s not as if someone ever informed me of this process. I believe this is like a baby’s cognitive development:
Initially, a baby feels that everything is in his control. He cries, and his food immediately comes to him; he truly feels that he is doing this! But as he develops, the baby understands that there are people around him, and they are the ones bringing him food and the rest of his needs. When he grows even more and is zocheh to a good chinuch, he discovers the truth. Even those who take care of him have no abilities of their own, and everything comes from the wide-open Hand of the Creator of all worlds.
This world is confusing. Hashem created the nature of the world, with millions of seeming means of providing for a person’s needs, so that we would be zocheh to believe that He is the Source of all the strength in the world and He is the Navigator of all circumstances.
Toward the end of Shaar Habitachon, Rabbenu Bachyai lists ten levels in bitachon, each higher than the previous level. He describes this gradual rising in levels of bitachon as “when his awareness is strengthened more and more regarding the Creator’s compassion toward His creations.” While the tenth level is only for unique individuals, the ninth level is achievable for everyone, if they only want it. Anyone who invests himself in it and exerts himself can get there. Obviously, it doesn’t happen in one day; it is a process that continues on and on, through learning and constantly reviewing, again and again, inyanim of emunah and hashgachah pratis.
One of the levels that a person reaches when he is zocheh to strengthen himself in bitachon is that he “will not want anything other than that which Hashem wants for him.” When you ask him, “What do you want?” initially he will answer that he wants all sorts of good things – health, parnassah, no debt, nachas from his family... He wants all these things and many more.
But what happens when there is a nisayon? What happens when things don’t go according to plan? One who strengthens himself in bitachon feels that this is completely fine. True, it’s not according to his plans, but it is in accordance with His plans! The belief that Hashem wants to do only what is good for him is so strong that he can declare with full confidence: If this is what Hashem wants, then this is what I want as well!
Rabbenu Bachyai goes on to describe the ninth level: “...and he is totally devoted to Hashem.” Hashem gave us freedom of choice, and He wants us to act responsibly – to be “wise men who anticipate the future,” and we achieve this through constantly learning about bitachon, because only someone who works on himself constantly can be totally devoted to Hashem yisbarach.
“And surrenders his nefesh and his guf” – nefesh refers to a person’s desires. While someone with less bitachon will be afraid of losing out if he doesn’t fulfill his own desires, one who invests time in learning bitachon is zocheh to peace of mind, for he believes he will not lose out on anything. Bitachon is the middah that will assist us in fulfilling the more difficult mitzvos with joy, despite opposition from the guf. Anyone who believes and has bitachon will have an easier time getting up early and jumping out of bed, saying Krias Shema on time and davening properly, and also forgoing all sorts of foods that are not in accordance with Hashem’s will.
“And he will not believe that one means [of gaining his livelihood] is better than another.” If he is happy with his current job and suddenly hears that he could make more money through another profession, he will not leave his current job. He will not attach any significance to the means by which he tries to attain parnassah, because parnassah comes from Shamayim and not from the type of hishtadlus he uses. No matter what he does, he will still receive only that which was determined for him from Above on Rosh Hashanah.
If he used the logical mind Hashem gave him and decided to set out on a specific route, and precisely on this route he met up with endless traffic – he won’t start calculating, “Why did I do that?” or “Why didn’t I think of that?”... He won’t be busy thinking that the alternate route would have been better than the route he took, because he remembers that Hashem directs man’s steps, and if it is decreed he will encounter delays, then this is what will happen. And the same applies in every area in life. All circumstances are equal in his eyes, because he knows that they are only circumstances, and the One Who is really in charge of everything is a good Father Who does good, and He is the Reason and Purpose behind everything, and everything the Merciful One does is for the good.
