Bubbie
One Sunday, little Rachel and her Bubbie go to a Shopping Center to buy a present for Rachel. Unfortunately, while shopping, Rachel gets separated from her Bubbie and immediately starts to cry.
A security guard sees the sobbing little girl and takes her to the lost-and-found office.
When they ask Rachel for her name, she replies, "Sheina Punim Kenahorah Poo Poo Poo." So they again ask her for her name and she replies, "My name is Sheina Punim Kenahorah Poo Poo Poo."
So the office puts out the following message over the loudspeaker, "We have in our lost-and-found office a cute brown eyed, blond haired little girl who has lost her grandmother. If you are that grandmother, please come and claim your granddaughter, 'Sheina Punim Kenahorah Poo Poo Poo.'"
Five Bubbies immediately come running to claim her.
Partner Meeting
Shlomie has a business appointment, and he arrives a little early. The receptionist points to a comfortable easy chair and asks him to be seated for a while.
Shlomie settles down, picks up a glossy magazine opens it, and tries to read. However, he finds that he cannot concentrate because he is distracted due to a rumpus coming from behind one of the doors leading off the reception area. Shlomie goes over to the receptionist and asks, "What's going on in there?"
She replies, "It's a partners' meeting."
"But why are they shouting at each other?" Shlomie asks.
"It's a battle of wits," she replies.
Maurice asks: "Who's in there?"
"Horowits, Lebowits, Rabinowits and Abramowits."
Pressure
60-year-old man went to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor told him, "You're in terrific shape. There's nothing wrong with you. You have the body of a 35 year old. By the way, how old was your father when he died?"
The 60 year old responded, "Who said he was dead?"
The doctor was surprised and asked, "How old is he and is he very active?"
The 60 year old responded, "Well, he is 82 years old and he still goes skiing three times a season and surfing three times a week during the summer."
The doctor couldn't believe it. "Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?"
The 60 year old responded again, "Who said he was dead?"
The doctor was astonished. He said, "You mean to tell me you are 60 years old and both your father and your grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active?"
The 60 year old said, "He goes skiing at least once a season and surfing once a week during the summer. Not only that," said the patient, "my grandfather is 106 years old, and next week he is getting married again."
The doctor said, "At 106 years old, why on earth would your grandfather want to get married?"
His patient looked up at the doctor and said, "Who said he wanted to? His mother put on tremendous pressure."
Library
A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for books about paranoia.
She whispers, "They're right behind you!"