QUESTION: Many times, the Rav has advocated here that a person should demonstrate good character, even though he doesn’t really have good character. You said tonight that a man should always act like a fine gentleman even though he isn’t.
ANSWER: But isn’t that just plain wrong because we’re deceiving people?
Keep on deceiving them! If you can deceive your wife for the next seventy years into thinking that you’re a nice fellow, then deceive her. You do whatever you can, all day long, to make her think that you’re a wonderful fellow, a gem of a person.
And when it comes to the next world, she will say, “Oh, he was such a wonderful husband.” So, they’ll say, “He wasn’t such a fine fellow.” So, she’s says, “No! He was wonderful, a wonderful husband!” And Hashem will take her word for it. Hashem will say, “I’ll take your word for it.”
So, you keep on deceiving everybody – and not only your wife but everybody – and Hakodosh Boruch Hu will reward you for it. Now, that doesn’t mean that you should say that you’re a fine fellow, no. But you should always act like a fine fellow, and Hakodosh Boruch Hu will reward you for that.
Reprinted from the Parshas Lech Lecha 5784 email of Toras Avigdor based on Tape #920 (July 1993).
