In the Torah portion of Vayeitzei, we read about the marriage of Yaakov to the two sisters, Leah and Rachel. Yaakov had specifically asked for Rochel’s hand in marriage, to which Lavan had agreed. But at the last minute, Lavan cunningly substituted Leah in Rochel’s place, claiming that the custom of his place did not allow him to marry off the younger sister before the older.
According to our sages, Yaakov and Rochel, knowing what a liar Lavan was, had suspected that he might try this trick and had planned for it by sharing secret signs with which Yaakov would be able to identify Rochel. When Rochel saw that Leah was being taken to the wedding ceremony in her stead, she decided to share the secret signs with Leah in order to save her from the embarrassment and rejection which would follow the revelation of her true identity. Rochel’s selfless act, which put her own future relationship in jeopardy, was considered a great virtue, which is why she merited to have the righteous King Saul and Queen Esther as her descendants. In addition, it was in this merit that her prayers for the Jewish people to return to their homeland were accepted.
This article will focus on what exactly were these secret signs which ended up not being so secret.
The Secret Signs
I have found seven opinions as to the details of these signs:
1) Nidah, Challah, and Shabbat Candles
The Da’at Zekenim says that the signs were the knowledge of the laws of family purity (Niddah), separating Challah, and lighting Shabbat candles.
It has been suggested that Rochel decided to teach these laws to Leah without revealing to her that they were the secret signs that she and Yaakov had agreed upon. Instead, she simply shared with her that these were laws that Jewish women were supposed to know. She did this because she suspected that Leah would be put in her place and wanted to prevent her from being embarrassed (as explained above). On the night of the wedding, when Yaakov questioned Leah about these laws, she was able to answer his questions, thus fulfilling the sign that Yaakov and Rochel had discussed. Leah, however, did not realize that these questions and her responses were significant and that they were secret signs.
This explains how it was possible for Leah to later remark to Rochel, “Is it not enough that you took my husband?” Had Leah realized that Rochel assisted her to be married to Yaakov she would never have spoken that way since, in point of fact, it was she who took Rochel’s rightful husband. Indeed, throughout her life, Leah never realized the kindness that Rochel had done for her.
Assisting Incognito
An important lesson can be learned from this – to assist people in an unobtrusive way and, if possible, in a way in which the recipient does not realize he is being assisted. This is similar to the highest level of tzedakah where one helps someone find a job and the recipient of the kindness does not feel like he is on the “receiving end.”
Rewarded in Kind
Rabbi Aharon Berechia of 16th-century Modina, Italy, (author of Ma’avar Yabok) writes that Rochel was rewarded for revealing each of these three secrets. Specifically:
- For revealing the laws of family purity, she merited to be healed from being barren. (Since family purity is about matters relating to procreation, she was blessed with children.)
- For revealing the laws of Challah, she merited to have a descendant (Yosef) who received a double portion in Israel. (Giving Challah brings blessing to one’s material possessions. In this case, it brought a blessing to receive a double portion.)
- For revealing the laws of the Shabbat candles, she merited to have a descendant (Binyamin) in whose portion the Shechinah rested (in the Beit HaMikdash). This is an appropriate reward since ushering in the Shabbat also ushers in the Shechinah.
The lesson to be learned is that by giving away something precious to someone else, one merits tremendous blessings in the very same matters.
Humble Descendants
As mentioned above, the Talmud says that because Rochel revealed the signs to her sister, she merited to be the ancestor of King Saul and Queen Esther. In light of Rav Berechia’s explanation that Rochel shared the signs without indicating that they were the secret signs, we can understand the connection between Rochel and her descendants as they displayed the same modest attitude and remained silent rather than reveal their true greatness. King Saul did this by not revealing that he had been anointed as king and Queen Esther by hiding her true identity in Achashverosh’s palace for many years.
2) Touching the Extremities
According to the Yalkut Reuveni (by Rabbi Reuven HaKohen Sofer of 17th-century Prague), the secret sign was that Rochel was supposed to touch Yakov’s right big toe, right thumb, and right ear lobe. He explains that there are three angels from the left (negative) side which attempt to influence a person to indulge in physical pleasures.
Similarly, when purifying a metzora (leper), the kohen places the blood of the Asham sacrifice on his right ear lobe, right thumb, and right big toe. This ritual removes the metzora’s spiritual impurity which is concentrated in those areas. Rabbi Sofer writes that this is why some place the blood of the chicken slaughtered for Kaparot on Erev Yom Kippur, on these three extremities.
The message of a wife touching these extremities is that a wife can assist in curbing her husband’s baser instincts. The order of this code was first to touch the toe, then the thumb, and finally the ear lobe as these represent ascending (worse) levels of impurity, and one must first conquer the less problematic levels and then graduate to conquering the more sinister levels.
Positive Significance of the Extremities
The Ben Ish Chai explains that:
- Touching the ear represents that the Jewish people, who would receive the oral Torah, would descend from her. (The ear represents the oral torah which is passed on from mouth to ear as opposed to the written Torah which can be learned by the eyes.)
- Touching the right thumb represents that she would be the matriarch of the Jewish people who remain apart from the nations of the world just as the thumb stands apart from the rest of the fingers.
- Touching the right big toe also alludes to the Jewish people (her future descendants) who will be called adam (the ultimate man). The word for big toe – bohen/בהן is related to the word adam/אדם as the three letters that spell bohen (ב, ה and ן) are the letters in the Hebrew alphabet that come after the three letters that spell adam (א, ד and ם).
3) Claim to Be Leah
Rabbi Moshe Yaakov Ravikov of 20th-century Lithuania and Tel Aviv, a little-known Kabbalist who was known as “the holy shoemaker,” wrote that since Yaakov and Rochel had expected Lavan to trick them by replacing Rochel with Leah at the wedding, they agreed that Rochel would claim to be Leah. If Leah would be placed in Rochel’s stead, she would certainly claim to be Rochel. As such, claiming to be Leah would establish that Rochel was really Rochel. But when Rochel realized that Leah would be embarrassed, she divulged this sign to her so, instead of lying and claiming to be Rochel, Leah told the truth and answered that she was Leah. This is the meaning of the verse “It was in the morning, and behold it was Leah,” i.e., Behold, she was Leah as she had claimed during the night.
4) Lentils and Goats
Rabbi Shalom Shabazi of 18th-century Shabaz, Yemen, brings four opinions as to what the secret signs were and concludes they can all be correct. They are: Rochel’s code was to say that Yaakov bought the firstborn rights for lentils and the blessings for two kid goats.
5) “I Am Pure”
As Tosfot explains (see above), the signs were the knowledge of the laws of family purity, Challah, and Shabbat candles. Specifically, Rachel was supposed to say “I am pure” to indicate she was not a Niddah.
6) The Amulets
Yaakov gave Rachel the amulets that he would wear around his neck which symbolized the merit of his holy forebears. Rachel was supposed to return these on that night as a sign that it was she.
7) Brit Milah and Mikvah
Rachel was supposed to say “Brit Milah and Tevilah (immersion in a Mikvah) are the signs of the Jewish people.”
May we merit to do many unassuming acts of kindness!
Wishing you a Shabbat Shalom UMevorach!
Copyright 2023 by Rabbi Aryeh Citron
