בראשית רבה (סח ה) חזקיה אמר , בן ס"ג שנים היה אבינו יעקב בעת שנטל את הברכות , עשה עוד י"ד שנה שנטמן בבית עבר , עשה עוד שבעה שנים שעבד ברחל , ונמצא נושא אשה בן פ"ד שנים , ועשו בן ארבעים שנה, הא למדנו שהקב"ה משהה לצדיקים ומקדים לרשעים. דאמרינן לעיל הצדיקים תחלתן יסורין וסופן שלוה. מתנות כהונה). (טובתן משהה להם, כ
בבות שער הבטחון (פרק ד) והוא שאין אדם נמלט מאחד משני דברים חובות הל: שיהיה נכרי או שיהיה בתוך משפחתו וקרוביו. ואם יהיה נכרי, יהיה צוותו באלקיו בעת השתוממותו ויבטח עליו בגרותו וכו', ויחשוב אחר כן בהסתלקות כובד משאם וחובותם מעליו ,ויחשוב זה טובה מטובות הבורא עליו שאם יהיה רודף אחר עניני העולם וצרכיו, תהיה יגיעתו יותר , מפני קלה עליו מבלי אשה ובנים, וחסרונם מנוחה לו וטובה, ואם יהיה ש עניני אחריתו, יהיה לבו יותר ריק ופנוי בעת התבודדותו מבק הם אל ההרים, כדי שיפנו לבותם לעבודת אלקים. וכן היו הנביאים מבלי ספק. ועל כן היו הפרושים בורחים מקרוביהם ומבתי מתבודדים לחובות הבורא עליהם, כמו שידעת מענין אליהו עם אלישע בזמן הנבואה יוצאים ממעונותיהם ו .
that often having dire Yeridos is proof that Hashem is Davka with you! The person who is constantly having battles with his Yetzer Hara can be Zoche more than a person who is on a much higher Madrega than him, precisely because he is a fighter. PS. Don’t look for trouble!
PHENOMENAL STORY
About 10 years ago, a Bachur who was having a very hard time with Shiduchim called me up, and complained to me that since he had family issues, he couldn’t get a normal Shidduch. Recently, he was given advice that he should be Mya'esh (give up) on any normal Shidduch, and start looking into problematic types. He asked me for my opinion. **
First, I told him that he shouldn’t view himself as a nebach. Aderaba, the Medrash says that having to wait longer for a Shidduch can be a good sign; being like Yaakov who had to get married much later than Eisav. According to Chovos Halvavos Shaar HaBitachon he should look down at married people since they have issues that he doesn’t have. *** (And a Yungerman should look down on Bachurim who aren’t married yet). The more he makes himself satisfied in his Matzav, and sees only good in himself and his Matzav, the more he’ll attract Yeshuos. Then I told him, that despite his baggage, he shouldn’t be Mya'esh on the most Chashuva normal Shidduch, and I’ve seen plenty R’ Boruch Mordechai Ezrachi difficult situations marrying the most normal Shidduch. ****
Story #2
About an hour later, I get a telephone call from a Yungerman who met me around Tisha B’av time. He had told me then that he has a son who has a serious physical problem, and in all probability he’ll never get married. He’s already 27 with zero Shiduchim redd to him, Rachmana Litzlan. ***** It was barely three months later, and now his son had become a Chosson! He was calling me to thank me for the Shidduch, since as soon as he met me, things started changing. I asked him what I had said that made such a positive: רוֹשֶ ם impact. He replied: First of all, you were very emphatic about never, never saying: “In all probability my son will never get married!” ****** “Also, you advised me to speak positively all day, about how “My son actually WILL get happily married”, and to keep making believe that things are okay, although inside you feel just the opposite”. He told me that he took me very seriously, and he listened to everything I told him to do. *******
A rule: The more seriously you take me, the further you go! And the Mofes you will bring about is to your credit. I have brought about unusual Nissim with Hashem’s help, even when I was dealing with skeptics. But in those cases, only I get the credit, and the skeptic isn’t Zoche to the Gevaldige Zechus of being an: עָ מֵ ל בֶ אֱ מוּנָה Emuna dynamo. ******** This wasn’t Stam a Shidduch; it was a top, top: מְׁ צוּיֶנֶת exceptional girl who had a very slight handicap, which was nowhere near the severe handicap of his son. Yet, she couldn’t
הובא בספר המאורות הגדולים (האישים המוסריים יוצרי תנועת המוסר חייהם ופעולותיהם, לרבי חיים תיאורים מדיוקנם של אפרים זייטשיק, ירושלם תשכט, עמ' ק, סז אות קכח ) "ההוה" הגרוע ביותר נעלה ונשגב ביותר מכל מין "עתיד" הטוב ביותר די ערגסטער "הוה" איז בעסער וויא די דער בעסטער "עתיד". (בשם מדרגת האדם ) .
מגילה יד א, אכתי עבדי אחשורוש אנן . care less! Nissim G’luyim! Notice how I was M'chazek a Bachur, and I told him that despite his family issue he can still get a normal Shidduch, and an hour later Hashem shows me (in a different case) how true my words are! Remember: בְׁ רִ ית כְׁ רוּתָ ה לַ שְׁ פָ תַ יִם מו"ק יח א, סנהדרין קב א Your words will have an effect! *********
How important it is to speak only positive words! They affect the entire atmosphere, and produce only goodness, for yourself and for the entire world! Your words have plenty of echoes! Bring light to Hashem’s beautiful world, instead of being a negative kvetch.
Novardok
The Alter of Novardok (whose Yahrzeit is next Thursday, 17 Kislev) would never worry about the future, even from the morning to the afternoon. He would say : ד י ע רְ גְ סט ע הַ יינְ ט א יז ב עס ער ו וי ד י ב עסְ ט ע מָ ארְ ג ען the worst “today” is better than the best “tomorrow”. Ehrlicher Yidden live for today. If today is good, it’s good. Don’t bother me about tomorrow A Yid is happy with the moment, and that is the Emes’e Baal Bitachon. **
Chanukah is coming up, how long did the entire victory last? Five years later there was another revolt. What are we celebrating? Because if today there is a Simcha, lets rejoice! The same with Purim, even after the Yeshua we were still slaves of Achashveirosh. (Gemara ). It doesn’t matter. We are happy with the moment. ***
Da’agas Machar (worry about “tomorrow”) is all over the place. People are so drenched in it; they don’t realize how it is all over the place. Obviously they can’t appreciate the moment, because their head is already thinking about the future. The Chovos Halvavos says we must thank Hashem for everything. But the problem is that as soon as we are thanking, we are already thinking: “Hmm, but soon I’m going to need something else...” Sit, and relax! You have it good now? Chill out, as if there’s nothing else in the world. ENJOY THIS MOMENT!
