Yaakov thanked Hashem for his “rags to riches” success over the past twenty years of his life by saying, “I have been diminished by all the kindnesses and by all the truth that You have done for Your servant; for with my staff I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two camps” (Bereshis 32:11) One word in Yaakov’s statement seems rather strange. Yaakov notes that he crossed Hayarden hazeh (this Jordan River). Whenever the word zeh is used in Chumash, it connotes that the speaker is pointing at the object in question, for example, zeh K-eli v’avneihu (This is my G-d and I will glorify Him). Unless we assume that Yaakov was standing on the banks of the Yarden now and was pointing at “this Ya rden,” why does the pasuk over here use the word zeh?
The answer to this question is the following: The key for a person to be ma kir tova (recognize when a favor has been done for him) is remembering the situation before he merited this favor. A person should never take what he has for granted and think “this is what I have now and this is the way it has always been.” It behooves us to try to think back and remember “what it once was like.”
A person may have been suffering terribly. He went to the doctor and had a successful operation. Now he is a new person. In the beginning, he is appreciative of the doctor – the surgeon who saved him from all his pain and suffering, significantly improving his quality of life. But with the passage of time, a person may forget how it was before the operation.
Consider knee replacement surgery. When people get older, it often becomes necessary to have their knees replaced. Knees can become arthritic and can get to a point where the person cannot walk. It is simply too painful to walk. Today, Baruch Hashem, people can have knee replacement surgery, where surgeons can put in an artificial knee and the person can go from not being able to walk to even playing tennis again. After the operation, a person feels: “Ah! Gevaldik!” But one, two, or three years later, he may take for granted his ability to walk normally again. The key to maintaining a sense of gratitude is to remember “I was not able to walk and now I can even play tennis.” That is how a person is makir tova.
Yaakov Avinu could say “for with my staff I crossed this Jordan River” even when he was not standing next to the Yarden because he always remembered “what I was like before.” “I was a fugitive. My brother wanted to kill me. I literally had nothing to my name. I came to Rochel empty-handed. All I had was my walking stick!” That image was permanently imbued in Yaakov’s memory, so much so, that it was as if he was standing by the Ya rden, as he was about to leave Eretz Yisrael. Yaakov replayed that scene over and over, such that he could always feel “Katonti m’kol hachasadim...” (I am unworthy of all the kindness...)
