By Rabbi Dovid Sapirman, Dean, Ani Maamin Foundation
In this week’s parsha, Yaakov Avinu is on his way home, passing near the lands of Esav. Yaakov sends messengers to his brother informing him that he wants to meet, calling him “my master Esav.” When they do meet, he repeatedly refers to Esav in this way.
The Midrash tells us that when Yaakov called Esav my master, Hakadosh Baruch Hu said to him, “You lowered yourself to call Esav ‘my master’ eight times. On your life, I will establish eight kings from his descendants before your descendants.” From here we learn that it is wrong to humble ourselves before a rasha.
However, there is a seeming difficulty with this Midrash. The Ramban brings numerous statements from Chazal that this parsha hints to the future, and that we must learn from Yaakov how to conduct ourselves under the rule of Esav. Indeed, when Rebbi wrote a letter to the Roman emperor Antoninus, he signed it “Your servant Yehuda.” His talmidim asked why he humbled himself before this non-Jew; he answered, “Am I better than my forefather, who called himself ‘your servant’ to Esav?” Here we see that it is proper to humble ourselves when under the power of Esav, and that Yaakov did the right thing.
But the Ramban himself brings another statement from Chazal in the opening of the parsha: Yaakov is compared to someone who grabs the ears of a dog, thereby inciting it. “Esav was going his own way, and you send him a message ‘so said your servant Yaakov.’”
The resolution is simple. It is indeed a grave sin to lower ourselves or to give kavod to a rasha. However, when we are subject to his power, we have no choice but to do so, as Yaakov Avinu did. But if we can avoid such a meeting, and have no need to humble ourselves to him, we are obligated to do so.
Yaakov did not have to meet Esav at all. He should have quickly passed by Esav’s land and gone straight home. Then he would not have had to bow and call Esav “my master.” But since he did make contact, he was blamed. Once he met up with Esav, his conduct was correct.
When we are under the rule of Esav, as we are today, we must conduct ourselves as Yaakov Avinu did.
