That’s why, when a chosson or kallah come and ask for advice, this is one of the first things they should know, the aveirah of ona’as devarim. It’s a very serious chet. It's like eating a davar tamei, like eating ham all their life. Is that a frum house? Even if people wear shatnez, is that a frum house? But people who talk ona’as devarim are transgressing a much more serious lav. And they’re doing it all their lives, and very many times. Sometimes thousands of times.
Now, of course if you’re a wise person you’ll say, “What do words mean? I’ll forget about the words!” That’s right! That’s what you should do – make believe you never heard it. But not always are both wise; sometimes one is not so wise, sometimes the other one. And what you said to her, or what she said to you, who knows how long it will rankle?
