17. When a person is cautious with his kedushah, his life will be filled with light and joy. Nothing can quench a person’s thirst for happiness and satisfaction as much as kedushah.
I heard the following mashal from a baal teshuvah. He said that he experienced the lesson from his own life story. The mashal is about a person who put together a puzzle, but one piece was missing. He didn’t have the right piece to finish the puzzle, so he pushed in another piece. However, since it isn't the piece the puzzle needs, it doesn't fit right. Trying to push it in won't make it fit. It will protrude and won't truly complete the puzzle.
The nimshal is about a person who feels something is lacking in his life. He isn't satisfied. It is like there is a "hole" in his life, and he wants to find the piece, the approach, that will satisfy him. If he tries to fill the void with forbidden thoughts, sights, and the like, it can be compared to trying to complete the missing piece of a puzzle with the wrong piece! It won't solve the problem. The thirst and the lack will remain. It will even get worse. The solution is to fill himself with Torah and mitzvos. That always satisfies a person's needs.
18. Reb Yaakov Edelstein zt'l said that people once asked him to say a hesped for an irreligious Yid. He didn’t know this person, so he inquired about him to hear about his life and his qualities. Most of the things he heard weren't matters worthy of mention at a hesped. But then he heard that he didn't smoke on Shabbos. His friends remembered that when they were together with him on Shabbos afternoon, he would wait until there were three stars before he lit his cigarette. He made this kabbalah when he was serving as a marine in the British Navy.
(This was in the days when Eretz Yisrael was part of the British Mandate.) Once, they were at sea, and the ship capsized in the middle of the ocean. At that moment, the spark of his Jewish soul ignited, and he cried out, "Ribono Shel Olam, if I survive, I promise I won't smoke on Shabbos anymore." Immediately after he said these words, a British pilot noticed him, lowered a ladder, and rescued him. We learn from this story the strength and potential of a good kabbalah.
Reb Yaakov Edelstein zt'l said that the Minchas Chinuch (mitzvah 360) asks whether teshuvah helps without saying viduy. From the story, said Reb Yaakov Edelstein, we have proof that teshuvah helps without viduy. This man didn't say viduy; he just made a kabbalah to improve in one way, and Hashem performed a miracle for him and saved him.
We add that if a person is drowning in a sea of taavos or worries, or if a person is drowning in the sea of the yetzer hara, the counsel is that he should accept on himself a kabbalah tovah, something that he wouldn’t generally do, and heaven will immediately throw him a rope to rescue him.
We heard a story from an honored and prestigious rav who took it upon himself to help a bachur return to the path of Torah. The bachur came from a good home, but he fell from level to level, until he was being mechalel Shabbos, r'l. The rav advised him that when he finishes a cigarette on Shabbos, he shouldn't extinguish it. He should let the cigarette blow out on its own, because extinguishing a cigarette is an aveirah on Shabbos (מכבה).
The bachur replied, "What will I gain from that? I am anyway a baal aveirah. I am not keeping Shabbos anyway!" They debated the matter, whether there is any gain from keeping this one mitzvah, although he transgresses others. Finally, the rav said, "If Reb Chaim Kanievsky will tell you that it is worthwhile for you not to extinguish the cigarette, will you listen to him?"
"Yes, I will", the bachur said.
They went to Reb Chaim's home. As soon as they entered, Reb Chaim lowered his eyes because it is forbidden to look at the face of a rasha, and the bachur was mechalel Shabbos. The rav said to Reb Chaim, "Please tell us: This bachur has fallen into a sad state of aveiros, and he smokes on Shabbos, r'l. Is there any benefit for him to let the cigarette go out on its own, and not to extinguish it?"
Reb Chaim raised his eyes and answered, "Certainly, there is a benefit."
The bachur replied, "I accept on myself that I won't extinguish the cigarette on Shabbos anymore." Reb Chaim's eyes lit up. He looked at the bachur and gave him a brachah with all his heart.
Take note of what happened here: When they came to Reb Chaim, Reb Chaim lowered his eyes because it is forbidden to look at the face of a rasha. However, when the bachur made a kabbalah to improve his ways, in one small way, Reb Chaim looked at him. With a kabbalah tovah, the bachur became a new person.
(In the end, this bachur did teshuvah sheleimah. This one good deed led to many others.)
Kabbalos Towards Improving One's Ways
Kabbalos towards improving one's ways don't necessarily need to be large. Often, it is better to take on a small kabbalah, and that will be sufficient.
Rashi (12:4) writes, "The time came to redeem the Jewish nation, but they didn’t have mitzvos to merit to be saved... Hashem gave them two mitzvos: the blood of Pesach and the blood of milah, because they circumcised themselves that night...They were attached to avodah zarah, so Hashem told them מצוה של צאן וקחו מאלילים ידיכם משכו, 'Leave the avodah zarah and take a sheep for the mitzvah.'"
It would seem that two mitzvos are too few to take on, but it was enough in Hashem's eyes. We do the maximum we can, which is all Hashem asks of us.
The Sfas Emes explains that Hashem takes the few good deeds that we have, He magnifies them, and that saves us.
It states (12:23) הפתח על 'ה ופסח, and the Targum explains that Hashem considered the doorway to be very large. The relatively small deed became very large in Hashem's eyes, sufficient to save them. The Sfas Emes quotes this Targum (although I searched for it and didn't find it) and the Sfas Emes writes, "This teaches us for future generations, if a person opens a small opening, it becomes like a large wall [in Hashem's eyes], and you will merit your redemption."
An example of a relatively small kabbalah is to learn for three minutes without interruption. You think it is small, but it is a great deed in Hashem’s eyes. There are yeshivos during Shovavim that learn for hours without interruption. In Slonim, there are two sedarim daily, five hours each, without interruption. (The Yesod HaAvodah of Slonim discusses the great purity that comes from studying five hours straight, without interruption.)
However, if at the moment, the most one can do is study for five minutes without interruption, be aware that it is incredibly precious to Hashem. Don't think it is a small deed, because, as the Chovos HaLevovos writes, "What is small to you, is great in Hashem's eyes."
