I was told in Novardok that you’ll get plenty of Schar for your: וַיגְבַהּ לִבוֹ בְדַרְכֵי ה' kosher Ga'ava, and it’s true Shviras HaMiddos. Ari Mandelbaum had spent lots of time with self-aggrandizement, and he decided that he’ll spend more time praising his competitors. Believe it or not, he found it much easier to praise others than praising himself. The Yetzer Hara is ruthless in this area, and Anava P'sula (misplaced humility) is rampant. Now in our Dor, we don’t all have a Novardoker Chinuch where they monitored all your actions constantly, and people were Zoche to Ruach HaKodesh. So we end up having plenty of Anava P'sula and the wrong Ga'ava, etc.
The: עֵץ אֶרֶז וְאֵזוֹב cedar wood and Aizov grass were tied with a: שְנִי תוֹלָעַת “red” string, and red symbolizes Chet, as it says: אִם יִהְיוּ חֲטָאֵיכֶם כַשָנִים כַשֶלֶג יַלְבִינוּ ישעיה א יח If your sins are (deep red) like “Shani”, they will turn white as snow! I would venture to say that even if your Ga'ava/Anava situation is all wrong, like the: שְנִי תוֹלָעַת red string, you can still be Zoche since you’re trying to work on yourself. The Parah went: חוּץ לְ ג' מַחֲנוֹת outside Yerushalayim, and after Shechting it, the blood was spritzed towards the Heichal. As long as you’re trying and aiming in the right direction, you are already okay. (Divrei Chaim).
רַחְמָנָא לִיבָא בָעֵי Hashem wants our intentions. It is interesting that the Parah has to be taken out: חוּץ לְ ג' מַחֲנוֹת outside Yerushalayim, like it says: וְהוֹצִיא אֹתָה אֶל מִחוּץ לַמַחֲנֶה יט ג he shall take it outside the camp. It sounds like the cow started off in the Heichal?! We can suggest that a person should realize that his Shoresh is a Tzelem Elokim, and he is full of Kedusha and Tahara. Yet, Hashem Davka puts us in a Treife Olam HaZeh environment to test us, וְאָדָם אֵין צַדִיק בָאָרֶץ אֲשֶר יַעֲשֶה טוֹב וְלֹא יֶחֱטָא קהלת ז כ and there does not exist a person who never sinned, and you are similar to Yehuda who sinned because a Malach pushed him to sin. This is the way everyone should look at himself after he sins (not before, Chas V'shalom!) And now that you’re out of the Kodesh HaKodoshim 'ג(מַחֲנוֹת)! and it’s hard to do Teshuva, all you have to do is try your best and aim in the right direction.
The main thing is no Yi'ush! The Alter of Novardok Zatzal says that as long as you do what you can, then Hashem will give you Si'ata D'shmaya. A normal Oved Hashem has three parts to him. There is a Chelek of yourself that you dislike, but it’s too difficult to overcome. You probably get Schar for not being Mya'esh despite your shortcoming. Then there is the Chelek that you overcame; this is probably your main accomplishment in this world. You actually changed! What a Zechus! You transformed yourself from Bat'lan to Masmid, from grouchy to being a happy person, from being a “cool cat” to being a serious Y'rei Shamayim, etc. from being angry to softening up. From being insecure to becoming self-confident, etc. This is true Gan Eden, and you deserve unending respect. And then there is that Chelek that is positive, but you were born with it. This gives you lots of Kavod, and it is a Zechus that you didn’t ruin yourself! Although you aren’t expected to overcome certain weaknesses, it is still important to have a desire to improve in those areas, and this is what is meant by the: הַזָאוֹת הַדַם sprinkling of blood which was aimed at the Bais Hamikdash, even though the Cohen stood: חוּץ לְ ג' מַחֲנוֹת outside Yerushalayim.
