How can we do Teshuva when we recall the Onesh & horrors of Din Shamayim, like the two Churbanos Bais Hamikdash, the Spanish inquisition, Rachmana Litzlan, the Nazi Holocaust, and all the Tzaros of our long Galus?
A friend of mine had serious issues in Ruchaniyus. He looked through all the Chazal’s that talk about the Onesh and wickedness of his sins. Then, he read about the unbelievable Schar for overcoming his Yetzer Hara. He said that the positive side had a much bigger effect on him.
In Novardok & Slabodka they were very good at seeing the Hevel & foolishness of Chet, to which they dedicated loads of: נ ִוֹבת ִה ִנוּתִ thought. And with lots of laughing (Novardok) at the folly of bad Middos; they could lose all Cheshek for sins, since they saw through the Dimyon of Ta'avos Olam HaZeh.
Nonetheless, such a person may want to go back to his weird Yetzer Hara’s, Chas V'shalom, if he doesn’t have a different kind of pleasure in his life. For this, we need constant Tefila of: ו ה עֲר ב ִנ אִאֶ ת ִד ב ר י ִתוֹר ת ךִָב פ ינוּ make the Torah Geshmak. Rosh Chodesh Av is the Yahrzeit of Ahron HaCohen. A father is a symbol of love, and Ahron was also a symbol of love.
On Tisha B’av, the K'ruvim were hugging each other. Now, in Galus we need to focus on the potential positivism, and the great love and beauty in our lives if we do Teshuva. The Baal HaTurim says that the K'ruvim were like two friends speaking in learning. He also says that K'ruvim means children, like it says כ י ִנ ע ר ִי ש ר א ל ִו אֹ הֲ ב הוִּהושע ִיא ִא I love Klal Yisroel’s youthfulness.
A young child is full of innocence and Temimus and Bitachon, as it says: נ פ ש יִכ ג מֻ לִִעֲ ל יִא מּוִֹתהליםִקלאִב I am in the hands of Hashem like a baby in his mother’s arms. Sunday, 5 Av will be the Arizal’s Yahrzeit. It is known that his great Madregos were earned through his great Simcha Shel Mitzva. (Sefer Charedim).
I know a certain Yungerman, that when he says: א מ ןִִי ה אִש מ הִּר ב אִמ ב ר ךְ he also thanks Hashem many times for the Zechus of saying this awesome Tefila (which is: ט ִב ִמ ִל ִג ִז ִירוֹתִ cancels harsh decrees, and M'chaper on one’s sins. Gemara).
Some say that it is worth being M'vatel Torah and Tefila, in order to spend time appreciating the great Zechusim we are Zoche to, with our Torah, Avoda, and Gemilus Chasadim, Shviras HaMiddos, and Bitachon etc. Working on Simcha, and being Machshiv our Mitzvos takes time, and may appear to be causing Bittul Torah and Tefila etc. But it’s all worth it.
Such a person has a higher level of Simcha and Emuna, and he Shteigs way-over all his friends. He becomes much more real. א ש ר יִִחֶ ל קוֹ Fortunate is his lot! When we try to do Teshuva on the Sin'as Chinam and Ka'as and Kin'ah etc. that caused the Churban, we should mainly focus on the beauty of being a warm loving and caring father (Chodesh “Av”) and on the greatness of Ahron who was a Rodef Shalom and everyone loved him, and how glorious it is when Jews love each other and hug each other (and learn Torah together) like the K'ruvim. Then we’ll be ready for Elul, which means: אֲ נ יִל דוֹד יִו דוֹד יִל יִ more and more positivism and love.
P.S. Although a person should avoid court cases in Chodesh Av (Shulchan Aruch), one who is stuck with a court date in Av can have Bitachon and will surely Davka be Matzliach, since Bitachon is higher than all Tevah & all Halachos. A Baal Bitachon is: מ קוּר בִל מ ל כוּת a friend of the Boss, & gets special treatment, despite his shortcomings and sins. (R' Dovid Bleicher Zatzal). The Ramchal says that he’ll be pulled out of Gehinom, and the Bitachon he had in his lifetime will work for him even after he is Niftar.
