Pearls of Wisdom from the Parshah
They are written on this side and that side. (Shemos 32:15)
When Esther sent a message from the palace out to Mordechai, asking why he is dressed in sackcloth and ashes, and crying out bitterly, she phrased her question as follows:
To know what is this and why is this.
The Midrash says that she was really asking the following question: Perhaps they denied “This is my G-d and I will glorify Him”? Or perhaps they denied the Luchos [given at Sinai], about which it says “They are written on ‘this’ side and that side”?
Let’s try to understand why Esther was so concerned about “This is my G-d and I will glorify Him.” Why did she ask about this? Why not about the pasuk of Shema Yisrael, which is more basic? Maybe they denied that! Also, what is so significant about the Luchos being written on both sides, that Esther asked specifically about this?
There are a lot of madreigos and a lot of lofty perceptions and spiritual understandings. But there is a simple concept called “This is my G-d and I will glorify Him.” When the Jewish people saw the Shechinah at Kri’as Yam Suf, that’s what they said.
This is what Esther was asking about. Perhaps they denied the simple relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu. And what is this “simple relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu”? It is the reality of “I am Hashem your G-d,” as written on the Luchos Habris. It is the understanding that we are Hashem’s beloved children. It is saying to Hashem, “You are my Father.”
With this relationship, any decree can be overcome, because it cuts through the whole system of upper and lower worlds, and goes straight to the point, straight to “This is my G-d and I will glorify Him.” It is one’s personal connection with Hakadosh Baruch Hu.
Then Esther asked whether they might have denied the Luchos, which were written on both sides. There are a lot of different situations in life. Sometimes a person really sees how Hashem exists, and is with him, and sometimes one’s faith is put to the test.
In whatever situation, there are basically two “sides.” On Pesach we say Hallel, but if they would have drowned in Yam Suf, we would not say Hallel. There were two sides when they stood at the shore of the Sea of Reeds. One side is they will go through safely and be saved from the pursuing Egyptian army, and the other side is they will drown in the Sea.
And so it is with Shavu’os. We accepted the Torah when Hashem offered it to us, but we could also not have accepted the Torah.
However, there is a position that does away with these two sides. This is the position of “Even if I walk in the valley of the shadow of death, I will not fear evil.”
Why won’t I fear? Because “You are with me.” Hashem is with a Jew everywhere and in every situation. When we take this position, are no two sides.
This is what the Luchos teach us. They had a miraculous aspect that whatever side you looked at them from, you saw “I am Hashem your G-d,” all the time, without any change. This is why the Luchos represent freedom from the Angel of Death and from all situations. Because always, no matter what, you continue to see before your eyes the great truth of “I am Hashem your G-d.” The simple fact of your relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu.
Some people came out of the Holocaust as great tzaddikim, and some came out quite differently. There are a lot of people who keep Shabbos, and if you ask them why they keep it, they will answer that they have a number of reasons. But what will happen if these reasons fail?
We need to always remember what we saw in the Luchos. There are not two different sides. “They are written on this side and that side.” This is the position to take. However you look at it, from all angles and every side, you see the same: “I am Hashem your G-d.”
