Question: Me and my wife just found that we had a miscarriage. How can Hashem allow such a thing to happen in Mazal Adar? Can it be because of Aveiros? We are so broken. What Chizuk can Rabbi Mandel provide for us?
Answer: In this week’s Parsha, Ahron HaCohen blessed Klal Yisroel twice. First, with Bircas Cohanim, the most beautiful Bracha. And second, with: וִיהִי נֹעַם ה' אֱלֹק יכֶם עָל יכֶם וכו' the sweetness of Hashem should be on you, i.e., the Shechina. And Chazal say: כָ ל כֹ ה ן הַ מ בָ ר ךְ מִ ת בָ ר ךְ סוטה לח ב A Cohen who blesses, becomes blessed. Two beautiful Brachos. And what happens right afterwards? A fire comes down, and burns his two prize possessions (his two sons) alive, and destroyed them on the spot. What did he do? וַיִדֹם אַהֲרֹן He was silent. Look at his positivism. Now, all you who like to kvetch, continue doing so. But it’s not the way to go. You have an opportunity to become an Ahron. Ahron is sitting in a Gan Eden for his: וַיִדֹם silence, more than (almost) anything else he did in his life. He is so high and so big. YOU too, can be an Ahron. And you can do it happily. וַיִדֹם means that he really didn’t care. You can teach yourself. It’s all in your head. If you want to go kvetching, it’s because it’s the “style” of the people around you, to demand things from HaKadosh Baruch Hu, to want things. Give me this, give me that. R' Kushelevsky, just had a baby at 87. There’s a reason why he had a child at that age. He said: I wasn’t one of those kvetches, that felt like the Eibishter owes me anything. When I davened, I said: “Maybe You can do me a favor? You owe me nothing”.
Sit down, and thank Hashem; for your wife, that you have each other, and that your wife is the best lady, your wife has the best husband, etc. And you may have other kids. Don’t get involved in the filthy world, in the Treife world of having complaints against Hashem. It’s worse than eating pork chops. You don’t know how unhealthy it is. The way to go is accepting and being happy, and saying: “that Neshama was a holy Neshama, and I accomplished worlds”. And “he needed to expire just at that moment. That was the best thing for him and for us and for everybody”. There is a true story of a five-year-old boy that was killed, and his mother went berserk. The child came to his mother in a dream, and said: “Ma, why are you crying? There was a reason for all that stuff. And if you would know how good-off I am, because I HAD to leave after five years; that was the plan Le'chatchila (from the beginning). You’re crying for no reason!”. He was angry at his mother. And this woman had lost her husband, and the child said: “And do you know where Tatty is? He’s giving shiurim in Gan Eden... we’re having a blast up here, and you’re crying??”
