Opportunities for Bittul
The Gemara (Kesubos 96a) tells us, “One who prevents his student from serving him withholds from him kindness.” Another opinion is that he withholds from him yiras Shamayim. Plainly, we understand this Gemara that by preventing him from being in proximity to his rebbi, he is unable to observe his refined ways and learn from them.
But according to what we have learned, it goes even deeper. When a rebbi gives his talmid the opportunity to serve him, he is giving him the opportunity for bittul and to become a vessel for da’as. His vessels will be expanded, and they will be able to take in the da’as that will be given to him.
Bittul for Its Own Sake
Sometimes people think that the concept of bittul to tzaddikim applies only to the talmidei Ba’al Shem Tov, and only if he were to find a proven ba’al ruach hakodesh will he be mevatel himself to him. “When I will see that he meets all my conditions, I will be mevatel myself to him.”
This is a mistake. The idea of bittul to tzaddikim has already appears in the Gemara. The yetzer hara tries to tell a person, “Prove to me that this person is a tzaddik—a tzaddik of the sort that all the sefarim talk about— and then we will see about bittul... I am already wise on my own. I am not a young bachur like I once was. I am not obligated in emunas tzaddikim.” This is patently false!
The Mishnah (Avos 1:6) teaches us, רב, לך “עשה make for yourself a rebbi.” The mefarshim there explain that a person may make for himself a rebbi even someone who is younger and less wise than he is. The main idea is to have someone to whom we’re mevatel ourselves—and our avodah is to make ourselves a receptacle to accept what we need to accept from our rebbi. When a person does this, he becomes a true talmid in the sense that he is a mekabel and he is mevatel himself. It has nothing to do with believing in ruach hakodesh or in miracles. These are added aspects. First must come the foundation. The foundation is that a person has accustomed himself to being a talmid—a talmid of his father, of his mother, of talmidei chachamim, of rabbanim and tzaddikim. He becomes a person who is a talmid in his essence!
We find this concept in the Gemara (Bava Kama 20b) where one of the Amoraim asked his rebbi a question in halachah, and before answering, the rebbi told him, “When you will be meshamesh me, I will answer you.” The tzaddikim explained that in order for the talmid to accept the light of the answer of his rebbi, he first had to make himself a receptacle by being mevatel himself to his rebbi. He did this by serving his rebbi, and only then was he able to accept the answer.
The Purpose of Mitzvos
The reason HaKadosh Baruch Hu gave us mitzvos is solely so that we should be able to accept da’as from Him. The Aibishter wants to give us da’as, but if a person won’t be mevatel his da’as to the Ribbono shel Olam, he won’t be able to accept the da’as. Therefore, He gave us mitzvos to help us attain bittul. Bittul means that a person says, “I don’t know anything on my own. I don’t understand anything on my own. I simply do what HaKadosh Baruch Hu has commanded me to do.” When a person learns Gemara or a sefer mussar or chassidus, he does so because he wants HaKadosh Baruch Hu to give him sechel. He toils because he wants to attain bittul. “It’s hard for me,” he says, “but I am prepared to do everything so that Hashem will illuminate my world.”
He toils for the purpose of aligning himself with Hashem in order to become a worthy vessel to accept da’as from Hashem. To this end, he sends up a warm tefillah before, during, and after his learning—imploring Hashem to illuminate it for him. He doesn’t know when and how Hashem will do so, but he fervently hopes for this.
Enjoying the Unknown
When a person finds himself in a difficult place in his life and he doesn’t know which way to turn, he must make a weighty, fraught, and fateful decision. Whichever way he decides, the result may be dangerous. He speaks with Hashem, knowing that he needs da’as from Hashem. And if he sees that he hasn’t yet merited da’as, he says, “Perhaps I didn’t learn well enough before davening today, maybe the time hasn’t yet come for me to deserve da’as.”
Sometimes, a person can even enjoy the fact that he doesn’t know which way to decide. He enjoys it! The Ribbono shel Olam gave him an opportunity to be mevatel himself. “If I don’t know what to do, then I am in a wonderful situation. I will daven to Hashem. I will plead with Hashem during the berachah of חונן. אתה I will sit down with a sefer and toil in order to be mevatel myself so that I will merit da’as from Hashem.”
Bittul Elevates the Person
David HaMelech merited to become the Melech Yisrael because he was the shepherd for his father’s livestock. From here we see that through bittul—working for his father as a simple shepherd—he attained the loftiest heights. Because through bittul, he became a vessel to accept da’as without limit. A person has the potential to become wise beyond his wildest dreams—but there is only one way to attain it: bittul. There is no other way. Someone who says, “I have no one to talk to here... I am dealing with a bunch of simpletons, intellectual lightweights... I have no place here...,” withholds da’as from himself, because he has no bittul.
It is acceptable for a person to feel that he’s lacking depth and understanding—but he won’t attain it by pushing down others, speaking lashon hara about others, and denigrating good people and talmidei chachamim. By doing such things, a person only becomes distanced from the Source of da’as, and he will need to spend much time doing teshuvah in order to come back... all because he wanted to “acquire sechel.”
Yearning Is Good
The feeling of lacking da’as comes from a good place. A person seeks something more, a little more depth. Wonderful. The neshamah is searching for a bit more understanding, a bit more Torah, a little more Elokus.... A person can become so great in Torah. We see people who go from place to place, searching for more understanding in Torah and Yiddishkeit to satisfy their hunger and yearning for da’as... it’s a wonderful thing! It comes from a wonderful place.
But with which tools are you searching? Even regarding a ba’al aveirah who pursues pleasure in all the wrong places, his yearning for pleasure comes from a good place—for the neshamah emanates from beneath the Kisei HaKavod, the ultimate source of pleasure, and it yearns to attain some of that pleasure once again. But since it is wandering and straying in the darkness, it seems to him that by transgressing that aveirah, he will attain his pleasure. In the end, it will get him nowhere. We must remember that the search and the yearning for da’as are good—but we must go about attaining it through bittul, and not chas v’shalom, the opposite.
