In regards to the importance of up keeping minhogei Yisroel R’ Cook sent to R’ Luban the following story, which is brought down in the sefer Peninei Nisuin?
R’ Yitzchok Elchonon Spector zt”l was one of the leading poskim in Klal Yisroel. Shortly after he received his first position as rov, the town gevir [rich person of the town] invited the young R’ Yitzchok Elchonon to be mesader kiddushin. (This was the perfect chance for R’ Yitzchok Elchonon to establish his position.) It was a rainy day, and the gevir wanted to change the location of the chopper, and instead of making it in the shul courtyard he wanted to make it inside his house. When R’ Yitzchok Elchonon heard this, he said the same thing as the Sdei Chemed we mentioned above: ואם כי אין בכוחי להכריחם על זה, אך גם אין בכוחם להכריחני לבטל דעתי והריני שב אל ביתי כאשר באתי ולא אהיה בהחופה כלל - “Although, I can’t force people what to do, people can’t force me either. If they aren’t prepared to make the chuppah outdoors I will return home, and I won’t take part in the chuppah at all”. Although the Sdei Chemed won, R’ Yitzchok Elchonon didn’t and he returned home, without being mesader kiddushin.
