Crew team
Yeshiva University decided to field a crew team. Unfortunately, they lost race after race. They practiced for hours every day, but never managed to come in any better than dead last.
The Rosh Yeshiva finally decided to send Yankel to spy on the Harvard team. So Yankel shlepped off to Cambridge and hid in the bull rushes off the Charles River, from where he carefully watched the Harvard team as they practiced.
Yankel finally returned to Yeshiva. "I have figured out their secret," he announced.
"They have eight guys rowing and only one guy shouting."
In the West
One morning Brezhnev (the Soviet communist leader) looked out the Kremlin window and saw the sun. "Sun," he said, "Who is the best man in all the world." "You are! You are!" said the sun.
At noon, Brezhnev again looked out the Kremlin window, saw the sun, and asked "Who is the best man in all the world." "You are! You are!" said the sun.
At sunset, Brezhnev again looked out the Kremlin window, saw the sun and asked again, "Who is the best man in all the world."
"Well, it sure isn't you," said the sun, "you see, I'm in the West now and you can't catch me."
The Businesswoman
An old Jewish lady sold pretzels on a street corner for 50 cents each. Every day a young well-dressed man would leave his office building at lunch time, and as he passed the pretzel stand, he would leave her two quarters, but he never took a pretzel.
This went on for more than two years. The two of them never spoke. One day, as the young man passed the old lady's stand and left his two quarters as usual, the pretzel lady spoke to him.
"Sir, I appreciate your business. You are a very good customer, but I have to tell you that the pretzel price has gone up to 60 cents."
The Smuggler
Tony comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large bags over his shoulders. Joe, the border guard, stops him and says, "What's in the bags?"
"Sand," answers Tony.
Joe says, "We'll just see about that. Get off the bike." Joe takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains Tony overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.
Joe releases Tony, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
The next day, the same thing happens. Joe asks, "What have you got?"
"Sand," says Tony.
Joe does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Tony, and Tony crosses the border on his bicycle.
This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years. Then Joe runs across Tony one day in a cantina in Mexico.
"Hey, buddy," says Joe, "I retired. I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about ... I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?"
Tony sips his beer and says, "bicycles."