A Person’s Main Accomplishment in Life Is His Shviras HaMiddos
WHAT DO I CALL A SUCCESSFUL TRIP WITH MY FAMILY?
What we did isn’t the main issue. The main accomplishment is that I didn’t get angry at my rebellious son or nagging spouse; that’s a successful trip!
And for others who don’t have those Nisyonos, the success is if I invited some people to join, since they have issues and they need Kiruv. (Every person has his own unique Yetzer Hara that he was created to overcome).
Or that I didn’t look down at myself when everything went wrong; and I was M'kabel my weaknesses B'simcha.
Or when I observed other people’s behavior which was not on our Madrega, yet I didn’t look down at them, and I judged them L'kaf Zechus.
Or I didn’t envy other families that outwardly seem more successful than ours, and I worked on being Sameach B'chelko (even in Ruchaniyus!).
In Shamayim, these things are much more important than the whole trip. Ikar chiyus ha’adam shviras hamiddos v’i lo lama lo chaim – The main point of living is Shviras HaMiddos. (Gr”a). And the Yetzer Hara distracts you from the underlying truth of your life. The same with your Shabbos table, and all other aspects of your life... don’t lose sight of the main reason you were born, i.e., Middos!
When A Person APPRECIATES the Greatness of His Breaking Middos, Its Power Is Much Greater
TRUE STORY
Chaim Frischman called me describing his serious domestic issues. I had already been heavily involved in his Peckel for a long time, and we made up to continue discussing the Matzav a while later. However, I felt that there was a big question if I should get involved, since it wasn’t so kosher for me to deal with this fellow for various reasons.
I decided to put off calling him for at least an hour, and during that hour, I would write the Gadlus of overcoming my Yetzer by not calling. In the end, I spent 20 minutes appreciating (in writing) the Ma'ala of my Zechus. I never called back, and in two hours Chaim called with an unusual message...
Things improved radically, and his house is full of “Simcha” and the Midda of “Hachna'a”, which was very unusual and was a major part of their problems. When a person appreciates the greatness of his breaking Middos, then its power is much greater. I give credit to the 20 minutes of writing. In the past, I had broken Middos in order to help this person, but I never had such a Gevaldige Yeshua until I wrote about the greatness of my Shviras HaMiddos.
