So many of us suffer from our lofty wishes to improve ourselves. Albeit L’shem Shamayim, it still can be very wrong, and this causes Sin'ah, Kin'ah, and Machlokes. If not openly, then in your own system you suffer what is similar to Machlokes and a discontent, and a private internal war! Do you really wish to grow? Then grow being more and more a Sameach B'chelko, like the Gr"a says:
עִּ יק ר נ תִּ ינַ ת הַ תּוֹר ה בִּ ט חוֹן the main reason we were given the Torah was that we should acquire Bitachon, and Bitachon means Sameach B'chelko. (Gr”a).
Day and night, a person needs to remind himself how lucky he is for what he has, instead of spending his time admiring (and secretly envying) others, for their greatness in Torah, Chesed and Yiras Shamayim.
