אבל אם הכניעה סמוכה למידות הטובות או המידות הטובות סמוכות לה, אומר בתשובה זה וכו' וזה מחייב שתהיינה כל המידות הטובות והחובות סמוכות לכניעתו, והיא ראש ותחילה להן. והדין נותן בעבור זה, שלא תיתכן מידה טובה למי שלבו ריק מהכניעה לאלקים , ויש בלבבו מאומה מן הגאוה והגדולה. וכן ראש התשובה - השפלות והשחות והכניעה, כמו שאמר הכתוב (דברי הימים ב, ז יד ) וְיִכָנְעוּ עַּמִּי אֲשֶׁר נִקְרָא שְׁמִי עֲלֵיהֶם וְיִתְפַּלְלוּ וִיבַּקְשׁוּ פָנַּי וְיָשֻׁבוּ מִדַּרְ כֵיהֶם הָרָעִים וַּאֲנִי אֶשְׁמַּע מִן הַּשָמַּיִם וְאֶסְלַּח לְחַּטָאתָם וְאֶרְ פָא אֶת אַּרְ צָם, ואמר (דברי הימים ב, יב ז) נִכְנְעוּ לֹּא אַּשְׁחִיתֵם.
Beautiful things, and from Ahron’s staff emerged blossoms and almonds. This is what a true Anav deserves. In Novardok they never stopped talking about how Hachna'a and Middas HaAnava can produce all kinds of goodness.
Two Stories
The Alter of Slabodka said: וְנַּפְשִׁ י כֶעָפָר לַּכֹּל תִהְיֶה "The whole world can step on me." That’s why such beautiful "fruits" like R' Ahron Kotler Zatzal came from him! When R' Dovid Leibowitz Zatzal came to Slabodka, he expected the Alter to embrace him immediately, since he was an: עִ ילוּי (genius), and also a nephew of the Chofetz Chaim, and the Alter looked for such Talmidim.
Especially since the Alter was fighting the wicked Haskalah and the Yeshivos needed people with lots of Kishronos and Kochos HaNefesh. R' Dovid arrived on Purim, and he saw the Alter sitting at the head of a table, flanked with his top Talmidim; eating and making merry with Divrei Torah L'chavod Purim. Suddenly, the Alter noticed Dovid, and he said out loud: "Why did you come here? We don't need you!"
R' Dovid was deeply hurt and embarrassed, and he left immediately. As he was getting to the train station, two Bachurim approached him, and they told him that the Alter actually wants him in Yeshiva; and that he shouldn't ask Kashya’s on the Alter's Hanhaga with him.
So he came back, and the Bachurim helped him with room and board, and with Chavrusos, etc. The next time he saw the Alter Zatzal, he got the same treatment all over again. "What are you doing here?" Again, the Bachurim had to stop him from leaving. This happened back and forth for a year. After that, the Alter Zatzal invited him for a private Vaad, and he gave him: כָ בוֹ ד מְ לָ כִ ים royal treatment. R' Dovid became from his closest Talmidim.
A similar story with R' Sharshevsky Zatzal, who was also an: עִ ילוּי (genius), and despite the beautiful impression he made upon R' Moshe Mordechai Epstein Zatzal who Far’her’d (tested) him on the entire Maseches Kiddushin, with the Alter who was sitting there, he got no reaction. The Alter sat there without opening his mouth at all and he didn't answer R' Sharshevsky's inquiries "Am I in?" So he eventually left. Again, at the train station two Bachurim told him in the name of the Alter: "So quick you leave Slabodka"?
The M'vakesh Has Hachna'a and Is Therefore Able to Be M'kabel And Grow
They say that the Alter did these things to be Mach'nia (humble) the Bachurim. Without Hachna'a you aren't M'kabel (absorb) and you don’t grow! This is why a M’vakesh (seeker) is so important in Yiddishkeit!
Story
A Yungerman was involved in a Shalom Bayis situation, and he didn't get too far, until one day he was visiting the couple and he was degraded by the wife. The Yungerman put on his hat and coat, and stalked out of the house, saying: "You people are not for me. Go get someone else to help you!" They had regret, and called him many times with humble apologies. The next session he had with them was unusually successful. They had Hachna'a and they listened to him!
I know a Rebbe who has an unusually well-behaved class. He is always encouraging his Talmidim to serve him, which promotes Hachna'a. There is a Gemara like this – "Before I tell you my Pshat, serve me, and then you'll be M'kabel (accept) my words". Many families have trouble raising children because the children feel "in charge", Rachmana Litzlan. When they are given jobs and serve their parents, then they develop Hachna'a.
Hachna'a Causes You to Find Favor in Hashem’s Eyes, Which Brings Yeshuos
Many people have lots of problems with Bitachon, and they complain: “Why doesn't Hashem give me my wishes, after so much Bitachon and Tefila?” The answer is that basic Hachna'a is missing. They don’t realize that Hashem owes them nothing, and nobody likes a Baal Ga'ava’nik; so their demands boomerang and they lose their Chen (appeal) in Hashem's eyes.
In Novardok I knew many situations where people got what they wanted, including Refuos, when they worked on humility! Going against your Ratzon can cause great Yeshuos in your life, since you are Mach'nia (humble) yourself. Just like you change your Tevah (nature), so does Hashem change the world for you. וַּעֲנָוִים יִירְ שׁוּ אָ רֶץ תהלים לז יא The humble will inherit the earth (and delight in abundant peace).
Practicing self-control is super important for Anava. Also, a blatt Gemara has power to give a person Anava.
