The Passuk calls Yosef a: נַעַר young man. Why does Reuven call him a: יֶׁלֶׁד child? (הַ יֶׁלֶׁד אֵינֶׁנוּ לז ל). Perhaps he wanted to point out that he’s so young and immature, and he should not be held responsible for his actions. Similarly, we have Dina who is called: הַ נַעֲרָ ה a young woman. (וַיֶׁאֱהַ ב אֶׁת הַ נַעֲרָ ה וַיְׁדַ בֵר עַל לֵב הַ נַעֲרָ ה לד ג) But Shechem says: הַ יַלְׁ דָ ה the little girl. (קַ ח לִּ י אֶׁת הַ יַלְׁ דָ ה הַ זֹאת לְׁ אִּ שָּׁ ה לד ד ) Perhaps this is because he didn’t really respect her, and that’s why he defamed her. In Sefer Melochim we have a story of the Yidden asking Rechavam ben Shlomo to be nicer to them than Shlomo had been. His father’s friends, the Z'keinim (elders), advised him to listen to the Yidden. But his young friends said that he should be tough and even meaner than his father was. They are called: יְׁלָדִּ ים little children even though they were in their 40’s. We can suggest that not giving in, and choosing to go against people’s justified wishes, is actually immature.
Only Foolish People Who Don’t Think Have Sinas Chinam
Eliyahu HaNavi fought Avoda Zara through Leitzanus. This is the way to fight Sinas Chinam. “Are you a baby? You haven’t grown up yet?” This is a very powerful tool against the Yetzer Hara. When we learn about the story of Yosef and his brothers, we have to work on Sinas Chinam and realize that if you’re angry at a person, or you look down at a group of Yidden; you are a baby who has no Sechel. A person with Sechel thinks and realizes that the person before you has his own Yetzer Hara and problems just like you do, and a mature person respects everybody and understands them. If you had his background, you would be just like him. Only foolish people who don’t think have Sinas Chinam.
