You May Need to Do Some Kulos Since Your Health, Or Sanity, Or Kavod Is at Stake
Some people need loads of vacationing. You may desperately need some Kulos (leniencies) that you always despised, but your health, or sanity, or Kavod is at stake. Of course, you need a Rebbe. A Seder in Iyun (learning in depth) can save you, even though you’ll be missing so much Yedi’as HaTorah (Beki’us), but your sanity thrives off Iyun! Or writing a Sefer or making a Vaad. There are more Kulos (leniencies) that I’d rather not write for the public. It has to remain Torah She'bal Peh (unwritten).
I know of a woman who was given a Heter by R' Ahron Kotler Zatzal to do something that was normally frowned upon! Of course, you can’t be Matir (erase): כָל הַתּוֹרָה כוּלָהּ the entire Torah Chas V'shalom, and you need a Rebbe who is a Talmid Chochom and Yarei Shamayim, hopefully with a Mesora from his Rebbe. I know people who were saved by having a new Rebbe or a new Derech.
Frumkeit Can Be a Killer - Too Much Stress and Anxiety!
Sometimes being narrow minded and staying “in the box” is just perfect, and sometimes it’s poison. I speak to thousands of people, and often Frumkeit can be a killer, Rachana Litzlan. Too much stress and anxiety! Sometimes a person needs a lifetime of Chazzering: אַל תִּּצְדַק הַרְ בֵה stop being such a Tzaddik. I know a super Chashuva Talmid of R' Ahron Kotler Zatzal who needed to “chill” in order to get rid of his frum Meshugasim which were killing him.
Zikkui HaRabbim can be a major Refua, and it’s much more important than you realize. (see R' Elyashiv Zatzal) For many, many people, their main “religion” is: וּבָחַרְ תָּ בַחַיִים choose life, meaning: כְ פְ שׁוּטוֹ in the literal sense, stay alive! (Or: וָחַי בָהֶם you shall “live” with the Torah). Making sure you’re a basically happy content and relaxed person might be more important to you than: כָל הַתּוֹרָה כוּלָהּ the entire Torah Mamash. And it’s the true Ratzon Hashem, even though you don’t feel like such a big Tzaddik.
Or else your kids could be hurt, Chas V’shalom, or your body could rebel, Chas V’shalom, and it’s obvious. Some people may have to spend a lifetime repeating: חַ מִ ירָ א סַ כַ נְ תָּ א מֵ אִ יסוּרָ א (avoiding life-threatening situations is more serious than the laws of the Torah). They can’t always afford those lofty dreams in Ruchaniyus or Gashmiyus; it could hurt them.
For many, many people, being a Baal Ga’ava is the biggest Mitzva. R' Kalman Krohn Zatzal told me he wishes there’d be much more Ga’ava. Anava could cause all kinds of serious problems, in Ruchaniyus and Gashmiyus. And if Ga’ava bothers you so much, notice the: הַ נְ הָ גוֹת practices of Yosef HaTzaddik, who seemed extreme in his: וַיִגְבַהּ לִבוֹ בְדַרְ כֵי ה' lifting his heart in the service of Hashem, and look what became of him! It seems like: טוֹב עַ בֵ ירָ ה לִ שְׁ מָ הּ an Aveira Li’shmah is good! There was an Adam Gadol who did strange things, and R' Hutner Zatzal respected him despite. Many Tzaddikim and Shitos seem to be arrogant, but they know what they’re doing, and they Davka thrive because of this. And even if you’re doing everything all wrong, don’t worry. Since you have no choice, Hashem will still help you! In our Dor especially!
And if there are no Eitzos (solutions) for you, and you feel like a stressed-out half-a-Meshugena who’s all Tzu’tumult (confused), don’t worry. You’ve got plenty, plenty company, especially these days. And some of the most Chashuva people you know could actually be quite worse than you, even though on the outside it looks like they’ve “got it all”! Don’t trust any outside impression; I know from plenty experience. You can respect everybody, but don’t turn people into “gods”!
