Zikkui HaRabbim is major in Novardok. They say R' Gershon Liebman Zatzal was always thinking either of how he could break a Midda and go against his Ratzon, or how he could be M'zakeh the Rabim. The Ponivezer Rov Zatzal said that if not for his half a year in Novardok, then there would not have been a Ponivez Yeshiva in Bnei Brak. R' Chatzkel Abramsky said that the Ponivezer Rov Zatzal had the Ruach and similar Hanhagos of the Alter Zatzal.
A Novardoker respects Chinuch much more than most people, especially Menahalim are respected, and Novardokers try to be M'chazek those who run our Mosdos and are Mach'nia to them. Shmuessing in Inyanei Avoda is very Chashuv in Novardok. אָז נִּדְבְרוּ יִּרְ אֵי ה' אִּיש אֶל רֵעֵהוּ וַיַקְשֵב ה' וַיִּשְמָע מלאכי ג טז The Yi’rei Hashem spoke to one another; this was very precious to Hashem. R' Avigdor Miller’s first book was called: אָז נִּדְבְרוּ (Rejoice O Youth!). The main shmuessing should be in given problems; i.e., how to take care of my Kin'ah or Kavod problem with the person who rubs me wrong. Like a businessman who needs to take care of his business. וּתְשוּעָה בְרֹב יוֹעֵץ משלי יא יד Advice brings success.
STORY
Betzalel Goldman gives a Daf Yomi in a big shul in Bnei Brak. One day, some people told him that he’s boring, and they enjoyed hearing someone else who gives a better Daf Yomi. The very next day, some other people told him how they enjoyed his Daf compared to a substitute that sometimes gives it instead of him. The substitute was within earshot when they said this!
The Way You Think Vs. The Way the Torah Thinks
He spoke to a Novardoker about his experience. He was asked: “What did you appreciate more? The Kavod you got, which is: הַמִּתְכַבֵד בִּקְלוֹן חֲבֵירוֹ אֵין לוֹ חֵלֶק לָעוֹלָם הַבָא at the expense of someone else’s shame, for which you lose your Olam HaBah, or the Bizayon you got, which is truly a Matana (gift) Min HaShamayim since it purifies you from your sins?”
In the next world, a person can lose tons of Schar since he had so much Kavod. R' Shach Zatzal said that his Sefer Avi Ezri won’t do much for him as a Zechus, since he had so much Kavod from it.
STORY
A person went to the Simcha of his M’chutan, and it took him hours to get there. The M'chutan almost didn’t look at him, and spent all his time talking with others. He was told that a M'chutan, a father-in-law, and many other people in your life are not as simple as you think. They are waiting for Kavod and compliments from you; or else you could be in trouble.
R' Shlomo Wolbe Zatzal said that people want Kavod, and each person waits for the other. The Talmid for the Rebbe, and the Rebbe for the Talmid. Each person waits that the other should give him Kavod and say “Shalom Aleichem” to him.
STORY
Meir Kleinstein was speaking to one of the most Chashuva people in Lakewood, and this person gave him such a compliment that he thought he was almost a Lamed Vav Tzadik. He felt great, especially when hearing such a compliment from a “big name” in Lakewood. Exactly two weeks later, the same person belittled him to such a degree that he felt worse than an ant!
The Novardokers are always making Leitzanus out of “almighty” Kavod. People don’t chap what a fallacy the whole deal is. Look how unreliable people are, and how the same person can say such extremely opposite remarks. You never know where you're standing, and: אַל תִּבְטְחוּ בִּנְדִּ יבִּים don’t rely on people!
R' Gershon Zatzal told me two Yesodos about Kavod. 1. Most things that bother people can be traced to nothing but Redifas HaKavod, but you are not aware of it, and you fool yourself in being justified in being upset. 2. The opinion of the people around you is truly meaningless, since people are totally Nogea in all their opinions. They follow their environments, and their opinion is 99% תָלוּי based on what they’ve been taught, and what makes them come out ahead. There is usually very little truth in what they think.
These days, people don’t even remember what they said yesterday. People with Sechel aren’t sensitive; there is so much energy wasted in wondering about other people’s opinions. It’s almost like wondering what the wall thinks.
