Questions To Rabbi Mandel
Seeing Others Suffer Breaks My Heart
Question: I am Baruch Hashem very happy with everything that Hashem gives me in my life. But when I see other Yidden suffer, it breaks my heart. Sometimes I hear that someone is sick, or someone is going through a hard time in their marriage. I have them in mind in my Tefilos, but they still didn’t have a Yeshua and it makes me sad. I know that when it comes to my life, I should have Bitachon. But what about others? Should I just have Bitachon that Hashem will help them too? Or continue davening for them? Or try to help them in whichever way I can? (usually not too much...)
Answer: First of all, you should know that the fact that it bothers you so much is a sign of greatness and holiness. Next, you must realize that in the world we live in, a person must be cautious and on the alert for depression. In earlier generations, there was an Avoda of "Nosei Be’ol Im Chaveiro". But IN OUR GENERATION, THE BURNING ISSUE IS TO BE A THANKFUL PERSON, says R' Avigdor Miller Zatzal. When he heard a tragedy, R' Miller would always thank Hashem for the fact he was spared. And to cheer up, he suggested to visit chronic disease hospitals, and thank Hashem that you were spared and you don’t have what they have. He points out that this may seem heartless and cold, but in Avodas HaMiddos this is number one; or else a person can become depressed. We have to busy ourselves and put our focus on all the healthy people in the world. It’s sort of not fair to Hashem, when we put our main focus on all the negative in His world.
